Watching, Waiting and Hoping
by Ash Darklighter
Summary: An old fic previously posted as NC-17. Now R - revised and expanded. Mara returns to Coruscant to find that Callista has returned to Luke
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer: **The people and situations used in this fic are the property of George Lucas and Lucasfilm Ltd. Also KJA as I've used some of his words to further the story. I'm only writing this for my own enjoyment and am making no Imperial of Republican credits in this endeavour. Many thanks to all the girls for their help and encouragement as always. And this is for my friend John who died recently. He knew I wrote fic and waded through quite a lot of my efforts. I'll miss you very much.

I wrote this a few years ago and at that time it was NC-17. It can still be accessed as that at the SSB website but for other sites, here is a toned down version. It will also have additions because I can never leave things alone if I re-read them. The fic is still for John and I still miss his irreverent sense of humour.

Ash

**Watching, Waiting, and Hoping **by Ash D.

The steady sound of the waves rolling gently to lie briefly against soft golden sand accompanied the whirlpool of the young woman's mind as she gazed into her glass of rich, red claret.

So the rumours were true after all. She'd heard the talk and now that she had proof… She carefully placed the glass on a side table with shaking fingers. What did she feel? How did she feel?

Mara Jade moved trance-like through the filmy white draperies framing the tall open window and out onto the balcony. A gentle wind skimming off the wave tips teased the red-gold curls framing her heated cheeks. The silk of her evening gown rustled faintly against the marble tiles and she gripped the carved railing tightly with both hands. Before her stretched one of the most beautiful vistas in the galaxy. Miles of golden sand stretched for mile after unspoilt mile, dotted with trees to give shade in the heat of the day, all framed by the purple sky with its crimson sun. The sun had begun its descent into the oblivion of night, seeping into darkening shades of pinks and purples. The planet was famed for its sunsets, yet Mara saw none of it, the expression on her face pensive, her mind troubled. A bird cried for her mate somewhere in the indigo darkness as the last rays of the sun finally vanished.

"Mara?"

She turned reluctantly to face the elegant man standing in the light, his clothes proclaiming his wealth and good breeding. He rubbed his hand over a neatly trimmed beard.

"Karrde."

"You seem a little far away tonight. What is it?"

"Nothing, I'm just tired."

He raised his eyebrows, but wisely kept his opinions on the subject to himself. He had a very good idea what the matter was, but he was pretty sure Mara would not open up and tell him. The trick was to have already guessed at the root of the problem. There was always one conundrum where Mara was involved – one that wouldn't go away. She could ignore it, but she never forgot about it. He walked out to join her on the balcony and pressed her abandoned drink into her cold fingers.

"Here's to another very successful trade run, Ms Jade… very successful." He sipped his own drink carefully, savouring the multitude of flavours on his tongue.

Mara shrugged a slim, bare shoulder. "It was a job and I did what was required. End of story. Her voice was flat… unemotional… dead.

"Still – you did a good job. That's what this dinner was all about. The rest of the crew appreciated it." The muffled laughter and chink of knife on plate and glass against glass could be faintly heard as the crew still celebrated inside without them.

The gently worded reprimand penetrated the fog Mara was operating in and she turned cool green eyes towards her boss. "I'm sorry, Talon… it's…" Her eyes warmed a little. "As I said, it was a long run and I'm tired. I don't mean to be ungracious."

"Do you want to go to Coruscant?"

The eyes chilled again. "Why would I want to do that?"

Pale blue eyes surveyed her calmly. "It was your home for much of your life and I wondered if there were people you wanted to _look_ up? You have friends there."

There was no mistaking the frost as her face closed against him. "No."

"You sure?" Talon wondered briefly if he was being foolish or suicidal, but he'd heard the rumours and had wondered if Mara had heard them too. The mood she was in and had been in ever since she'd returned from her last buying and selling trip on behalf of his organisation gave him his answer. She'd heard them all right. Damn Skywalker and his ability to throw Mara into a spin. It was the one constant in an ever-changing galaxy. They circled each other, fed emotionally from each other, Mara was the moon to Luke's sun, but neither of them would admit it. '_Hell!'_ Karrde swore in his mind. He was sure they had no idea and the strength and depth of the connection linking them together. She was tied to the Jedi and their ancient order, yet she continually chafed at the pull of their silken threads.

He watched her throw the rest of her drink down her throat with a recklessness that didn't match her appearance. She could be anything, changeable as a Corulag Chameleon, one of the reasons she was so useful to his organisation. At this moment, she was stunningly beautiful in soft green silk, her pale creamy throat and soft arms bare of all jewellery, her fiery hair caught on top of her head in an intricate arrangement of coils and curls. The next time he saw her; she could be fighting like any seasoned soldier or covered in engine grease wielding a macrofuser without effort. She could don a number of disguises at the drop of a hat and then she could plan and execute any strategy she wanted to with a brilliance that rivalled Grand Admiral Thrawn himself. She would also tell him what he needed to know, whether he liked it or not. Mara Jade hadn't the inclination to dress up the truth to make it more palatable. That's what he liked best about her – her all-encompassing honesty and the intelligence that lanced out at you. Then there was the side of her that she continually tried to deny – the hidden warmth, the love of life and the vitality so sharp and strong.

"I need a break, Karrde. I can't do this any longer." Her voice was low… tired.

He winced because he'd known this was coming. The lure of the Jedi was stronger than she realised – not that she'd said anything yet. Mara had grown steadily closer to the Jedi order through her friendship with Skywalker even as she sought to distance herself. She was being pulled in two ways and it showed – either be a Jedi or deny the Force ability Skywalker said was so strong within her. But if the rumours were true, Mara was in for a tough time.

"You need to go see him."

She hesitated, wondering whether to feign ignorance of the topic he was broaching. "I don't."

"Mara, you do and you know it. They're rumours. Do you think that she is good for him?"

"No. I never did."

"It's up to you to make him see sense."

Mara snorted. "Make him see sense… what is there for him to see?" So he knew. She should have guessed. How many of the others knew? The anger coursed through her at the thought of being the subject of such speculation. She turned away from Talon's penetrating gaze and stared out into the night, the final death throes of the sunset leaving blood-red streaks across the sky. "How do you know so much?"

"I make it my business. You're my second in command, Mara. That's reason enough for me." Karrde was willing to bet the _Wilde Karrde_ and the _Starry Ice_ that she knew almost as much, if not more, than he did about Skywalker's most recent movements.

Mara gave him her first amused glare of the evening. "I don't know whether to slug you or hug you, Karrde."

He grinned dryly. "I suggest you don't attempt the first. This is a new suit and I don't want to have it ruined in a brawl with a lady on a balcony."

"Yes, Sir." Mara smiled ruefully. "You're as bad as _he_ is." She didn't have to say who 'he' was; Karrde understood. "Both of you trying to run my life. _I_ run my life."

"You do? I thought it was the Force… or destiny?"

"Bite your tongue. I'm in charge of my own destiny." She looked down at the empty glass still clasped in her hands. "I have to go and see if he's okay."

"Mara… Do you…?"

Mara twisted around, her expression carefully blank. "What?"

"Forget it." He shook his head.

"It's nothing to do with you, Karrde," Mara murmured softly.

He watched her lips move and strained to hear her almost inaudible words.

"Or me," she whispered.

**Coruscant – Solo Apartments**

Leia stared at the image frozen on the holovid. Her brother was shutting her out. She had seen him when he'd first returned to Coruscant. He'd almost been back to his old self – a little unsettled, perhaps, but he'd been smiling and serene - the epitome of the assured Jedi Master. Now _she_ was back and Leia wondered what it would do to her beloved brother if it didn't work out this time. He hadn't graced them with his presence since her return. She wandered slowly over to the large transparisteel window where Han stood gazing out into the early evening sky.

He glanced at her and smiled. "Leave him alone this time, sweetheart."

Han's softly voiced comment echoed through her.

"If he'd wanted you to help him with this one, he'd have asked your advice." The look he sent his diminutive wife was a loving one. Han knew that his wife's propensity for meddling in her brother's life was fuelled by the very best of intentions. "I know you want him to be happy, but this is not our affair."

"I only knew she was back because of the holofootage." Leia indicated the viewer. "He didn't say anything."

"Maybe he didn't know what to say."

"I can't get any reading on his emotions. He's locked up tighter than the New Republic precious metals vault. There's no point trying to read… _her_."

"You can say her name, Leia. Just because she left him doesn't make her worse than Palpatine was. Hell, I want to set her straight on one or two facts myself. I'm not even letting Chewie near her vicinity. Luke is part of his honour family too. If Luke wants us for support we'll be there with Ewoks to help. But in all the holos I've seen, he looks happy."

"Yesm he does." Leia sighed and turned to nestle in her husband's arms. "When did you get so wise, nerfherder?"

"I think it might have been around the time I met a beautiful Princess and fell in love with her. She's also pretty wise and clear headed herself, except sometimes…where her brother is involved. She just wants him to be as happy as she is." Han dropped a kiss lightly on the end of Leia's nose. "It's one of the things I most love about you."

"I guess you're right… for once." She smiled wistfully up at him and he settled his warm lips over hers. Even after three children and many years of marriage, Han could still make her bones ache.

"Hey," he gently said as he tenderly smoothed her hair back from her face. "I'm always right, Highnessness."

The old nickname still made her want to bristle and smile at the same time. Leia settled into his comforting embrace, her head falling to his shoulder. Luke deserved happiness more than anyone she knew and if she had to accept Callista back in his life again, she would. She'd liked Callista at first, mainly because she had made Luke happy. As she'd come to know the woman residing in Cray's body, she'd realised that she had liked her because she was intelligent, compassionate and funny. Callista genuinely was a nice woman. Han had originally voiced doubts about the relationship but even he had grown to accept her. The children had never been totally at ease with her, Leia recalled. The total absence of the Force around her had seemed strange to them. All living creatures left a signature in the Force, but not Callista and the children had not understood. Eventually this had been her reason for leaving Luke. His strength in the Force was too painful for Callista to bear. She had to be her lover's equal. Anything less was not acceptable.

"It couldn't have been easy for her. She lost so much." Leia murmured.

"She gained a life – she gained Cray's life."

"Because Cray didn't want it any more and she didn't know..."

"Perhaps not, but she took it regardless of the consequences. There are always consequences. You and I both understand that only too well, and as for Luke…" Han spread his hands in the familiar gesture of helplessness that he often used when talking about Luke. Who knew what went on in his brother-in-law's head these days? "In some ways it would have been better for him if she had died on the _Eye_."

"Callista said that herself once. It wasn't long before she left Luke. I don't think they were truly happy by then, either of them. He was trying so hard to help her find what she had lost and she was trying to turn him into the perfect Jedi Master from a bygone age. In the end she felt her lack of Force skills would only hold him back."

"In the end, sweetheart, she did hold him back. You know what he was like when she left. He was devastated by her departure; searched the galaxy for her. Put the Jedi order on hold until he finally admitted to himself that she wasn't going to return. It was a long time before we got the old Luke back."

Leia sighed, her cheek pillowed on Han's chest. "I don't think we ever did get the old Luke back. I don't know if we ever will. He's been through too much."

"Just like the rest of us. Life is a growing process, sweetheart. He'll come and tell you all when he's ready. You know he will. So quit worrying and leave him in peace to do his courting."

"You think he's courting? You think that is why she's back?"

"I don't know." Han's voice rose in irritation. "It's just an expression, but they've certainly spent enough time together." He dropped onto the old well-stuffed couch and pulled Leia into his lap. "Has she regained her Force ability?"

"No," Leia answered quietly. "That was the reason I thought she had returned. Somehow she had discovered her ability to touch the Force again. When I saw them together in the restaurant the other day I could sense Luke… oh, not his emotions. I told you he was shielding with every bit of skill that he possesses. But his presence resonated with a warm hum. Luke has this glow in the Force, a light stronger than any other creature. All things register in the Force except for Callista. Where she sat there was this gaping black hole. I could not feel her through the Force. I was going to speak to them, but they were in the middle of a very animated discussion and had eyes only for each other. That was when the holo-reporter cornered me and I learned Callista had been on Coruscant for three weeks. Most of which had apparently been spent in the company of my brother."

"Oh, Luke!" Han slumped back against a couple of cushions and closed his eyes. "I didn't know this had been going on quite that long."

"He's refused to speak to the press or the Senate…"

Han bristled at the mention of the latter. "Why should he? It's got nothing to do with them."

"He's still the Jedi Master." Leia sat up.

"So?" Han's tone grew hostile. "He is a private citizen of the New Republic and shouldn't have to report to the Senate or the Council every time he wants to blow his nose in public. It still has nothing to do with them."

"Han!" Leia uttered in amazement. "He doesn't have to do that. You know it – stop exaggerating."

"Anyway… wife," Han announced, a wicked twinkle sparking into his hazel eyes. "We are alone for a couple of hours. Winter has taken the kids away for the rest of the afternoon and I'm playing hookey from my office, as are you. What say you, that we spend it together?"

Leia frowned. "I do have a lot of paperwork to catch up on…" Her voice slowed and an elegant hand traced a path up the front of Han's tunic to find the fastening. "But since I've left most of it at my office, I'll just have to find something else to do to pass the time."

**Mara**

Mara felt his presence as clearly as ever. As soon as she landed on Coruscant she recognised the familiar warmth that was Luke Skywalker. His power drew her to him. A long time ago she had mistakenly thought that Luke would use her as the Emperor had done, but she'd been wrong. Luke would never do that to her. Suddenly anxious to speak to him she stretched out with her feelings and tried to contact him, but found he had his barriers up tighter than she had ever known.

'_Callista._'

_'I should have told Luke how I felt about him, but how could I? _ _He has absolutely no idea, but then again, why should he? I never gave him any indication of my feelings; he only saw the negative side of my anger. It's too late now.' _

Mara sighed as the strange sensation of regret swirled around her empty stomach. Food hadn't been on her mind at all on the flight to Coruscant, but Skywalker and Callista had. Why had Callista come back and why now? Mara hadn't known the woman at all well, partly because she hadn't stuck around to be all cosy when Callista had been rescued from the _Eye,_ and partly due to her non-recognition by the Force. Mara shivered at the thought. Callista totally unnerved her. In fact, Mara hadn't liked her much and suspected that the Jedi woman had been suspicious of her motives. Mara had, after all, wanted to kill Luke at one time. That little gem of a fact still haunted her. Luke had never, for one moment, had any doubt that she would let him live, and she had. Still, Mara supposed any woman might be a little concerned about a former Imperial assassin holding a grudge against her lover. She banished the disturbing image of Luke and Callista as lovers from her mind. It turned her stomach.

Mara resolutely pushed her way through the busy Coruscant walkway, head down, hell bent on getting to her destination, holding her wretchedness close to her heart. Why she was so miserable Mara didn't care to analyse too strongly – not yet. The throng of Coruscant citizenry heading for the entertainment district began to grate on her frayed nerves until she caught a shuttle leading to her apartment block. She wanted to talk to Luke or be alone. Mara pulled her carryall from the shuttle and slung it over her arm, eyes fixed on negotiating the steps to the door of the building. As she keyed in her security number, the door opened and a man and a woman emerged.

The swirl of tightly held Force-fed emotions buffeted Mara like a physical assault. That, and a strange feeling of emptiness. Her head snapped up and green eyes glittered like the brightest jewels in her white, tired face. She slammed down the barriers over her own feelings and stood inches from the mesmerising blue eyes of Luke Skywalker. For what seemed like an aeon, Luke and Mara stood transfixed, gazing at each other. Both struggled to read what the other was thinking, and both ultimately failed.

The green eyes were strangely shuttered, yet still, Luke tried to imprint the vision of Mara Jade into his mind, when a woman with malt-coloured hair and calm grey eyes broke the spell.

"Hello, Mara."

Mara's face turned to stone and with an abrupt "Callista!" and an inscrutable glance at Luke once more for good measure she vanished into the building. The sound of the door sliding closed echoed behind Mara and for a moment her body sagged and an expression of pain crossed her face.

So the rumours were true after all and now she had seen it for herself. Callista was back and she was with Luke.


	2. Part 2

**Watching, Waiting & Hoping – Part 2**

Usual disclaimers apply. George Lucas, the great Zahn and KJA cos I borrowed some of his dialogue. I am making no credits from this. Ash.

Mara entered her apartment and gazed thankfully at the welcome décor. It was a little plain, but it was all hers and the view from her balcony was stunning. Okay, it was more than plain. It was empty and impersonal and… lonely. The welcoming feeling left her. She'd always been alone. Luke had been alone too. Callista's abandoning him without explanation had hurt the Jedi Master deeply and he'd gone through some tough years, trying to be all things to everyone and undertaking far too many things on his own. "Luke is my friend and she betrayed him, hurt him. He doesn't need that again." Mara spoke the words to her empty room. "He loved her very much, although I don't think it was the real forever kind of love. I think he needed to love somebody and she fulfilled his desire to protect."

A sad little smile flickered over her expressive face. "He tried to look after me, too," she told herself. "But I'm not the kind of Alderaani hothouse flower you can coddle in an artificial environment for long. I was happy for them – I really was but I couldn't stand to be with them. All that happiness sickened me." But the sight of Luke together with Callista far from sickening her, had actually caused Mara real pain and somewhere at the back of her mind was the discussion she and Callista had once had over Luke in the canteen at the Jedi Academy on Yavin IV. It had been about the only discussion they'd had, as Mara had removed herself from the scene until Callista had gone.

_"I also heard hints that you might have been interested in Luke yourself at one time." _

_"Who told you I was ever interested in Luke Skywalker? When I first met him, the thing I wanted most in the universe was to kill him. I thought that way for a long time… Sometimes it still seems like a good idea to me. Not a great basis for a long-term relationship, you think?" _

Mara dropped her rucksack heavily on the floor. Something broke inside it with a muffled crack. "I'm not interested in Luke Skywalker. I can't be…" But deep inside, Mara knew that she was and always had been. The closeness she felt with Luke was unlike anything she had ever shared with another human being, even the Emperor. She had worshipped her master and would have done anything for him, but he was not someone she had felt an affinity with. Palpatine had not cared the way Luke did. He had been her master, not her friend. There hadn't been kindness in him the way there was in the Jedi. Luke was her friend and she didn't trust Callista one bit. "Jade," she admonished herself. "That's your own prejudice talking. You just don't want to see him get hurt again, that's all."

Deep inside she knew she was lying to herself. She was the one that would get hurt by Callista's return.

After a welcome shower with real water, Mara stood before her mirror and pulled a brush through her damp, tangled curls. She met her own green eyes and wondered what people saw in Mara Jade. _'What do they see?'_ she asked silently. '_Do they see the assassin, the smuggler, the potential Jedi or do they see me as a woman? Karrde sees me as the perfect smuggler; most of the __New__Republic__ Council sees me as the assassin and I know which one Luke envisions me as – it's the only one I haven't yet achieved. What does that say about Luke…or me?.'_

The full lips tightened and a flash of bitterness moved swiftly across her perfect features. "I don't want to suffer emotions. I should be able to move above them. I killed Luke's clone and fulfilled my last command. I should be free of this… this… whatever it is." Her eyes darkened to sage and she bowed her head staring at the sink. Mara's eyes rose to the mirror once again and there was new knowledge present. Luke had ignored Mara for Callista the first time around. Who was to say he wouldn't do the same the second time around? Why had Callista returned after all these years? Had she recovered her presence within the Force? Mara tried to recollect, but all she could do was remember Luke's vivid blue stare as it had gone beyond her outer barriers and seen straight through to her heart.

Mara walked to her bedchamber and stood in front of her clothes, grumbling at her inability to choose. The robe dropped with barely a whisper to lie pooled at her feet and Mara stared curiously at herself in the full-length glass in her bedchamber. Her hair had already started to dry and come to life in a ripple of soft waves that would eventually turn into riotous curls - the fiery red-gold colour unlike any other anywhere. Her body was still lithe, all the curves in exactly the right places. She could take down any wild animal or threatening being with a blaster or a lightsaber, if she had to. She was attractive, capable, successful…so why did she feel so lost? She was at a place in her life where the roads split and for the first time in many years, she felt frightened. This time she did not know which way to choose.

A muted growl from her stomach caught at her ears. The rumbling of her stomach reminded Mara that she was hungry and she had nothing in the house apart from some out of date ration bars. The thought of them turned her stomach. The nearest place to eat was only a short trip away on one of the small internal palace shuttles. The last time she'd been there had been with Luke. He was probably somewhere upmarket with Callista. She didn't want to eat, but she needed nutrition and the small tapcaf was the nearest one serving decent food.

With a snarl, Mara pulled out a clean ship suit and dragged it over her body. Why was she letting _him_ get to her lately? Mara closed the concealed fasteners and brushed down the sleek, durable fabric. Karrde provided only the best in such serviceable apparel to all his employees, but you couldn't exactly call it pretty. Grabbing a handful of hair, she braided it tightly until it hung sleekly down her back.

The fire inside her had been tamed or had it? Mara wanted more than friendship with the Jedi Master but wasn't ready to fight for it; she was still too busy battling against it.

With her stomach reminding her that ration bars have their place, but if an alternative solution is nearby, go out and grab it, Mara made her way to the nearest restaurant. It was only when she arrived there, that Mara realised Luke had had the same idea. She'd subconsciously known he'd be there and she'd gone anyway. He _always_ ate there. She _wanted_ to see him. Mara stood stricken, mere feet away from Luke and Callista. The former Jedi did not notice Mara but Luke did and when she felt his light mental probe she reacted in the only way she could – with hot, bright anger - and fled from one of her only friends for the second time in one evening.

**Luke's Apartment **

Callista wondered what had happened between Luke and Mara Jade as they'd encountered one another outside Luke's apartment building. They both stood stiffer than Coruscant marble statues, eyes locked, faces still. She didn't need to have the Force to guess that something important had been exchanged between the two of them. She swung curious grey eyes over the Jedi Master and the former Emperor's Hand. No, she was wrong. They hadn't gone totally still – there was something burning in Luke's eyes and she could have sworn there was been an answering flash in Mara's. How strange.

So the strange friendship between Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade was unchanged.

Callista let her memories surface of the first time she'd been able to hold Luke in her arms. She'd been so confused when she'd emerged from the escape pod. Confused, shaken, angry, happy, and so in love with the wonderful Jedi who had rescued her from the _Eye of_ _Palpatine_. But then she'd found out what she had lost. She'd given up the Force; unknowingly she'd paid a price far higher than she'd been prepared for. It hadn't been enough. _Luke_ hadn't been enough. She'd loved him as much as she'd been able to, but in the end it had paled beside her desire to regain her powers. Mara Jade had been there when she'd emerged to her new life. Mara, who still had the Force but stupidly rejected the chance to fulfil her destiny as a Jedi. Now she was standing immobile in front of Luke, begging him with those bright green eyes of hers and Luke was trying to answer, but neither one knew what to say or do.

"Hello, Mara," she murmured composedly and moved to stand next to the frozen figure of the Jedi Master as if staking her claim.

"Callista!" Mara muttered abruptly, giving Luke an enigmatic glance before fleeing. That was the only way Callista could think of to describe her departure - one of flight from a situation she was totally unprepared for.

Luke stood immobile for a moment longer, staring after the redheaded woman as if he could see her run all the way to her apartment.

"Luke?" Callista asked quietly. "Mara has an apartment in the same block as you?"

"What…?" he murmured, his manner distracted. "Mara's apartment? Oh, yeah. She's not here very often, though. That's the first time I've seen her in two or three months. It's the old wing of the Imperial palace as you know and Mara's on the floor below mine…or is it two floors? No, I think its one floor below. I'm not here very often either. It was lucky I was here when you arrived. Yeah, most of us are housed hereabouts. Me, Mara, Wedge… I think Tycho's in the next block. It's a long list. But I'm normally on Yavin – that's where the Jedi are. I get the feeling you wouldn't have visited me there." Luke began to gabble his words out.

Callista's mouth drooped. "Yes, I still don't think I could have tolerated Yavin IV. Don't get me wrong; it's wonderful what you are doing there. But the temptation to try and touch the Force again, when surrounded by Force adepts, is too strong and I swore I would never turn to the dark side – you know that. It's still the only way I can touch the Force."

Luke placed his hand over hers and squeezed comfortingly. "I understand, truly I do. You are brave. Others might not be so strong willed and give in to their anger, knowing the power it could bring them." He smiled warmly at her. "I'm glad you've come back, you know."

"Really?" Callista's heart began to pound. He'd been so friendly since she'd returned. Just friendly. She was searching for signs of love and finally that was going to happen.

He nodded as he approached the door to the restaurant where he'd made reservations. "After you," he murmured politely, as he ushered Callista inside. They sat in a corner booth perusing the menu in silence before giving their orders to the holo-waiter.

"I wondered if you were well; sometimes I doubted that you were still alive." Luke stared at the woman he'd futilely searched the galaxy for. She was totally Callista now - her face angular, the striking, large grey eyes within the strong cheekbones framed by the braided malt coloured hair. There was little trace of Cray Mingla, the Jedi who had sacrificed her life so that Callista could be with Luke, in the woman she had become. He stared curiously at her and smiled as she talked, hearing nothing that she said. She was well and strong and he felt… nothing.


	3. Part 3

**All the usual disclaimers.**** I own none of them but I like to play. Please just leave me alone to play with my toys. George Lucas owns them but I'll put them back safe and sound.**

**Luke** – **several weeks previously**

The Jedi Master cupped his chin in his hands and stared into the depths of his drink, rather than the serious grey eyes of the woman opposite him. He was trying to figure out why she had come back after all this time. It had been a difficult couple of weeks as again he became aware of himself wrestling with feelings he'd assumed were long dead. He'd decided that love was not for him and that he would watch his sister's children grow up and not his own.

The first thought he'd had when Callista's face had appeared on his HoloNet had been one of joy. She was _alive_. Callista was alive and she was coming back to him. She'd found her Force powers and it was all going to be all right. Then he'd paused as reality had set in. He was a different man now. He'd gone through a lot of grief and mourning not only for the loss of Callista but also for the loss of his hopes for a home and family with her, and he'd resigned himself to being alone. He also believed he was a competent Jedi and a brilliant uncle. (So Anakin had told him last week and Luke had hugged the words to himself. Maybe because he wanted to stay up a bit longer and not go to bed and Luke, being a complete softy, had charmed Leia into extending his time.)

Perhaps he wasn't meant to be a husband and father, but he'd wanted to love someone so much. Still, after the euphoria had worn off, he masked his growing resentment and had sat talking quietly to her about her travels. She'd seen a fair bit of the galaxy, places he'd yet to see, but it hadn't brought her back the Force. She hadn't yet explained the reason for her unexpected return and he hadn't asked.

They had arranged to meet for dinner once Callista had settled in her quarters, and in the meantime it had given a troubled Luke time to think. He slumped into his favourite chair and rubbed his hands through his hair, leaving it standing on end. How long was it since he had seen her? It must be seven or eight years at the very least, but why, when he'd hoped for her for so long with or without the Force, why didn't he continue to feel the happiness at her return? He pictured her face once more and the peculiar sensation remained with him. He felt _nothing_. Callista left him emotionally blank. He didn't yearn to be in her arms once more as he had formerly had dreamt about. He didn't want to cover her face with kisses, or cover her soft body with his own and seek a deeper joining. In simple terms – Callista left him cold.

His next thought was to contact Leia. She would know what to do. She always had some solution or other. His hand hovered ready to place the call or he could have simply reached out with the Force, but something stopped him. He supposed it might be a Force guided hunch or a long desired need for independence. Leia had liked Callista. Luke had wanted her back so much, would Leia think him fickle?

"Oh come on, Skywalker," he scoffed at himself. "She vanished for eight years and you are worried how your sister might react."

Did Callista expect them to continue as they were before? What did she want with him now because he sure hadn't been enough for her before? Luke covered his face with his hands, his mind whirling with all the possibilities.

No, he had to solve this without Leia. She was so strong minded she might sway him in a way he didn't want to go. Callista had saved Leia's life on Nam Chorios, by compelling her to face some of her fears and honing her skills with the lightsaber. Luke had taught Leia as much as she had allowed him to but Callista had persuaded the stubborn woman to finally take another step and accept that she wouldn't turn into an evil clone of her father. It had saved her life. Luke sighed. He was being unfair to his sister. Leia _had_ liked Callista and she had thought they were good together, but she knew the importance of being in the right relationship and wouldn't judge him too harshly whatever he decided to do. Leia just wanted him to be happy.

Leia would be torn between her brother and the woman he'd once loved, and it _was_ loved – past tense. He didn't love her any more. For the first time Luke allowed that thought to circulate in his mind.

Luke closed his eyes and reached through the Force for some answers and all he got was a image of Mara Jade. "I need to see her," he murmured to himself. The woman with the red-gold hair stood in the middle of the Grand Corridor in the Imperial Palace. All the citizens rushed past, blending into the surroundings, but Mara stood sober faced as the people blurred around her. She was the one sure and stable thing and everything else was ephemeral. He could feel her unrest clearly. She was hurting because of something or somebody, but Mara wouldn't give in to her pain. She was a fighter and she was strong, intelligent and beautiful; the latter thought slipped into his consciousness without his consent. He hadn't a clue where Mara was at the moment, hadn't seen her for months. He smiled, the action lighting his usually grave features. He wanted to see his friend very much. He usually knew exactly where he was with Mara, for the simple reason she always let him know loudly. That, or beat it into him. Luke chuckled then froze… he missed her. His expression firmed. If Mara was in pain and needed him he would have to go to her. It didn't matter what anyone else thought or said. He recognised this as clearly as he recognised a Tatooine sunrise. Mara would do the same for him. Luke frowned he had no idea if these images were what was past, or a vision of the future, there were no clues; his visualization had her on Coruscant. If she arrived here he would seek out the source of her conflict. He had learned patience after all. Rushing to find the root of Mara's troubles might not help her at all.

Over the next few weeks Callista and Luke spent most of their free time together. They regained their ability to converse about anything and everything in the galaxy. She was beautiful, intelligent and funny and he enjoyed being with her, but she didn't move his heart the way she once had. Luke could now call Callista his friend but no more than that. The first holo-picture appeared on the news nets after a week and following that they were hot news. Barely a minute went by when one of the info programmes ran an article or a series of images and vid footage about them, and barely a day without Leia calling, pumping him for information.

To the rest of the galaxy Luke seemed to just ignore it all. He wasn't ready to answer his sister's questions at all. He didn't know what his answers would be.

"Luke?" The husky voiced query brought him out of his reverie. "Luke, I've been asking you questions for the past five minutes and you haven't heard a word I've said…. have you?"

"Sorry, Callie. Things on my mind."

"Once you would have shared them with me." Her voice pierced him uncomfortably.

"That was a long time ago, Callie. Once I would have shared everything with you. You wanted the Force so you could be my equal. I loved you as you were and I never felt you were inferior. I never felt it was a competition, but you made it out to be so. In the end I wasn't enough for you and that still remains the same." He shrugged his shoulders and trailed a finger round his drinking glass. "You and I - we're different people now."

They'd kept away from the subject of their future until now and Luke sensed things would be awkward.

"Are we really?" Her hand came up and stroked tenderly down the side of his face. "Have I changed so much…?" She paused thoughtfully. "Have you?"

Luke gave a tired grin, full of regret and perhaps longing for what might have been. His hand lifted and covered Callista's as it lingered on his cheek. "You are more yourself now than you were when I first knew you and me, I'm older and I hope wiser. I wanted you to come back for so long and I searched for you. I hunted for a sight of you or a breath of your name from system to system. The last glimpse I had of you was on Nam Chorios and I learned to channel my pain - my despair - into my work as a Jedi. At times I was dangerously near the Dark Side. In the end I had to let you go. I have to move forward, Callista. I'm sorry. I can't go back."

She caught the words he hadn't said - he didn't have to say them. '_I can't go back to you.'_ Her mouth trembled at the passing of something infinitely precious.

Luke leant across the table and caught her soft lips in a chaste caress. He sipped at her lips and it only confirmed to him what he already understood. And then something whispered through the Force, soft on gossamer wings. Luke hesitated and then deepened the kiss, but he had been mistaken. The sensations he experienced had not come from Callie. It was only when the burst of total distress hit him that he withdrew. "Callista…" he breathed, "I felt…" But she was not the source.

"What… Luke?"

He reached out with the Force that was so much a part of him and caught the impression of great strength quickly masked, and as he gazed swiftly around the room he caught, for the second time that evening, the glittering green gaze of Mara Jade. Callista didn't know she was here, she couldn't feel the other woman's presence, but Luke could - even when she was shielding.

'Mara!'

'Stay out of my head, Skywalker.' The words and her expression were vicious and she whirled about and vanished from the room. Luke leapt to his feet and was about to give chase, until he turned to face a rather confused Callista. The hope that had begun to shine in her grey eyes died.

"Oh Sithspawn!" he swore and then had to choke back a laugh as Callista's expression changed from confusion to one of shock at his erratic behaviour.

"What was it, Luke? A vision?" Her voice became excited and a little envious.

"No… I…" He stuttered to a standstill. "I thought I saw someone I knew, but I was wrong." He dropped into his seat and took a swig of his lomin ale. '_Way to go, Skywalker. You still can't lie successfully. Callie may not have the Force, but she still knows you pretty well and she's not stupid.' _

"Luke!"

"Sorry, Callie. I'm probably just tired. All this racketing round town with you has worn me out. I think I need an early night… if you don't mind?"

Callista surveyed him closely. Something had rattled Luke's cage good and proper. She hated not having the Force, not being able to sense his emotions, but she thought she knew him. After eight years of searching, she was accustomed to her loss, but she'd been in love with him before she'd left and she had spent two weeks constantly in his company. He'd been different all evening. Oh, he'd been pleasant and attentive, but just a little distracted at times – more so than usual. In fact, he'd been like this ever since they'd set eyes on Mara. Luke had said they were just friends who hadn't seen each other for months, but he'd been affected by her presence on Coruscant, he'd known she was here. Had Mara come to see Luke? There had been rumours about their relationship before.

He called for the bill, ushered Callista out of the building and escorted her to where she was staying.

Callista stood patiently at the entrance to the building and asked hesitantly. "Would you like to come in for…?"

"No," Luke declined quickly. "I must go and see Leia." He tried not to see Callista's disappointment and knew the worst thing he could do was relent. "I've not been near her since you arrived."

"Oh," Callista's voice sounded flat.

"I'll be in touch." Luke threw his hood over his head, immediately turning away and hunching into its black folds. Callista followed him with her serious grey eyes until he was swallowed up into the crowds of people milling around Coruscant's entertainment district. "First he wants an early night and then he wants to see Leia. Does Luke know what he wants?" She touched her fingertips to her lips and tried to conjure up the feeling of his kiss. There had been no passion, no wanting, no desire. It had felt like goodbye. She stifled a sob and retreated into her quarters.


	4. Part 4

**Watching, Waiting and Hoping – Part 4**

**The usual disclaimers apply. It's Star Wars and all hail to the mighty George Lucas, the great Zahn and also the others who have contributed to this wonderful universe**

**Solo Apartment**

Leia opened and shut her mouth at the picture of her brother kissing Callista in a restaurant on the two-hundredth level situated near to his apartment. The main HoloNet news agency had gotten hold of the images extremely rapidly. Within the hour, the holo had travelled to virtually every news agency on the planet and several that were in other systems.

"Told you the kid would be fine," said Han with a grin, lounging in his favourite form chair.

"I don't know…" she replied slowly. "Something's not right."

"Looks right from here. Though it still amazes me how quickly the news nets get hold of these images."

"They'll have someone constantly following Luke and as soon as he steps outside with Callista there'll be a cameraman on his tail. We all know Luke's status in the galaxy."

"Yeah, yeah… War hero, Jedi Master, eligible bachelor and so on. Very cosy with former companion, once a Jedi Knight, et cetera."

"I'm being illogical here…"

"Hokey religious hunch, huh?" Han chipped in cheerfully and then winced as his wife walked towards him and dug him firmly in the ribs. "Ow! Leia! That hurt!"

"It was meant to," she remarked loftily. "Will you listen?"

"I _was_ listening," he protested with an injured air.

"You were trying to be clever."

Han jumped up, slid his arms around his wife and kissed her cheek. "I am clever. I married you. That's one of the most brilliant things I could have done."

The stern expression in Leia's dark eyes softened reluctantly. "Nerf," she added for good measure.

Han sat back in the chair pulling Leia with him to sit on his knee. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. What were you going to say?"

"Luke and Callista were almost perfect together, apart from her lack of Force ability. Sometimes I wondered if they were too perfect. Nothing has ever come easy to any of us."

"You can say that again, sweetheart,"

"Callista wasn't prepared for losing the Force. You could see the problem eating at her from the inside. The only way she could touch something that was once an integral part of her being was through the dark side. Luke tried to say that it didn't matter and to him it probably didn't, but in the end it did, because Callista wasn't going to accept Luke if she wasn't his equal. Luke thought she was and she thought she wasn't."

"Impasse."

"Yes."

"Leia, it's between them and we shouldn't interfere."

"With her history and experience of the Jedi she would make him an ideal companion. I genuinely liked her very much – could even grow to love her, but I'm not sure that Luke does love her and I can't say why."

"Ah…now we have the Force hunch."

"Partly." Leia curled herself into Han's arms, her head pillowed on his shoulder.

"What's the other part?"

"He hasn't brought her to us, to his family. She's been unsure enough not to contact us on her own either. Before, Callista would have visited us without Luke. If Luke was thinking about involving himself with Callista again he would have told me and she would have stayed with us here."

"A few of the news agencies have been speculating on something like that, now that you mention it," Han remarked. "There's a bit here about him asking you and the senate for formal approval to marry. Luke wouldn't ask the senate, but he would ask you."

"That's it exactly. On top of that, I don't think he trusts her."

"Of course he doesn't trust her," Han roared. "She walked out on him for eight whole years, without even a note. She appears back and has the nerve to assume he would wait for her."

"Well he has."

Han pursed his lips. "I'm not so sure that he has."

"What! Han Solo, what has Luke been saying to you?" Leia's voice rose.

"He hasn't said anything… I haven't seen him. All this is simply conjecture. We don't know what either of them are thinking"

"Han…" Leia drawled warningly.

"Excuse me, Mistress Leia… Captain Solo." The stilted tones of the protocol droid broke into the Solo's conversation.

"What is it, Threepio?"

"Master Luke is on his way up."

Leia struggled out of Han's embrace. "Is Callista with him?"

"Mistress Callista is not with him. Master Luke alone. I would have liked to speak to Mistress Callista. She made the master very happy."

"Don't forget, Threepio – she also made him rather sad too," Han put in; he liked to confuse the protocol droid from time to time.

The droid gave Han a double glance and then stiffly followed Leia from the room. Han lay back in his chair and contemplated the carved figures on the ceiling. "I wonder if Mara Jade is aware of what's going on," he mused to himself. "'Cos I get the feeling she wouldn't like the situation one bit."

Leia's brow furrowed quizzically as Luke entered the apartment, looking around as he did so. She caught the warmth of his presence as he shed his cloak, but he was keeping his emotions in check. Still, she knew exactly what, or rather who, he was looking for.

"They're asleep," she pulled Luke into her arms and hugged him warmly. "I put them to bed hours ago and DON'T you dare think about waking them up. They have school tomorrow. Next time you're over, do it at a more reasonable time and you can see them then."

Luke grinned and pouted at her. "Aw… spoilsport."

"It's okay for you 'Uncle Luke'. You don't have to get them out of bed the next day."

"Han does?"

"He has his methods and they are always drastic. These kids don't have your farmer's chrono and his smuggler's instincts."

"So they take after you in the morning, sister dear?"

"Enough, or I might remember that I'm not too pleased with you at the moment."

"Not too pleased…Oh!" Luke's mouth tightened.

"What's going on?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Leia. When I have sorted out a few things in my head, of course I'll talk to you, but not now. Han in?" Luke changed the subject quickly.

Leia opened her mouth to argue, but the determined set of her brother's face dissuaded her and she had to grant him his request… for the moment. "Of course he's in. He's in the lounge. You never come visiting if we're not here."

"True," Luke conceded. "You have a point."

"Hey, Luke!" Han greeted the younger man. "Where ya been, kid?"

"Oh… around. I thought I'd better visit before Leia sent Rogue Squadron after me."

"You just made it, Junior, She was itching to contact Wedge just yesterday. Do you want a drink?"

"Yeah, Han… please."

Leia sniffed disdainfully. "I was thinking I might have to do just that and contact Wedge." Her dark eyes narrowed as she took in her brother's appearance and general air of well-being. "You look relaxed, Luke. Things must be agreeing with you."

This time Luke's gaze narrowed. "I said I didn't want to discuss it."

Han stood up and pushed a data card into a slot next to a giant reader. "You perhaps don't want to discuss it, but we're getting tired of fielding questions from everyone, from the press to Mon Mothma and the inner council. This is the latest."

Unwillingly, Luke bent over the screen as the picture of him with his lips on Callista's appeared. "It doesn't mean anything."

"You go around passionately kissing women in public and then say that it doesn't mean anything?" Leia's voice strangled at the back of her throat. "Luke, this is not like you."

"It didn't mean anything," he insisted stubbornly. "It was just a kiss."

"Jedi Master in Love" Han read the lurid headlines accompanying the holo. "Luke, they've got the holo-reporters tailing your every move. Ever since you showed up with Callista in tow… and speaking of Callista… where is she?"

"In her rented apartment, I suppose. I certainly took her back there."

"Why didn't you bring her with you?"

Luke's face showed surprise. "Why would I do that?"

"Because she's the woman you're in love with and we're your family." Leia waited for her brother to react.

"Uh… hold on, Leia," Luke stammered. "I think…"

"Callista saved my life and I considered her a friend…"

Luke cut off his sister's words with a harsh bark of laughter. "Friend… friend?" he questioned, amazed at the bitterness suddenly rising in his throat. He hadn't realised it was still there. "What kind of friend disappears and doesn't contact you for eight whole years; you don't know if she's alive or dead? You find out that she loved your position and the power you wield rather than you. What kind of friend does that? Then walks back into your life after all that time as if she'd only been away for a few days. She's not given me any reason to suppose that she won't turn round tomorrow and disappear again." He glared at his sister, his blue eyes bright. "What kind of a _friend_ hurts you so badly that you don't want to go on without them?"

"Luke," Han interrupted carefully.

"No, this has to be said. I didn't want to discuss this, but you persisted, Leia. How can I tell you what I feel when I don't really know? And if I enlighten any one, I have to tell Callista first. I can't give her false hopes and bringing her back into the family as if nothing has changed is wrong. Something _has_ changed. _I_ have changed. I'm not the man I was when she left."

"You don't love her." Leia's voice emerged flat and disappointed but certain.

"She left me, Leia. Callista left me for the Force. Suppose I didn't have the Force? Would she have loved me at all in the beginning?"

"Luke…" His sister stretched out her hands in appeal.

"Would anyone love me?" Luke turned away from Han and his sister and stared out the transparisteel window at the lights of Coruscant. His shoulders shook and hands clenched with the effort of containing his feelings. He spoke slowly, every word drawn out until Leia felt like shaking him. "I'm fed up with people telling me how I should behave. When is someone going to want me for just being Luke Skywalker?"

"Hey, kid…" Han clapped a hand on the Jedi Master's shoulder and gently pressed a tumbler of Corellian Whisky into his hand. He gave Leia a warning stare. His wife had said enough for the moment. "Go check on the kids, will you, Leia? All that disturbance is bound to have wobbled the Force around a bit."

"But…"

Han gave a miniscule shake of his head. "They do have school tomorrow."

Luke almost cracked a smile. "I'm sorry, Leia. I still have a temper. I still have much to learn about keeping my air of calm."

"It's okay, Luke. I'm sorry too. You said you didn't want to discuss it and as usual I pushed too hard and interfered. I only want you to be happy." She hesitated at the door. "That's all I want, Luke."

"I know. But could you just leave it for once?"

Han gave his wife a speaking look and she disappeared from the room. She could maintain a discreet link on her brother via the Force, but he might open up to Han if left in her husband's clutches.

The Corellian poured a generous amount of liquid into a second glass and sighed with satisfaction as the liquid trickled thickly over the ice and a faint hint of vapour teased his nostrils. "Ah… nothing like the real stuff to ease the nerves."

Luke nodded doubtfully and sipped at the drink warily, as if it might poison him.

"It's regular strength, kid. Not the twice-distilled brand I got from Karrde last time he was near Corellia. I thought you were going to pass out on one glass! It even had Chewie staggering and the Wook _can_ hold his drink."

"I remember…"

"That's certainly a Jedi mind trick, because I recall you having to stay here. I'm surprised you remembered anything. One comatose Jedi Master, if I recall."

"No, I can't recollect much, but I do remember being so drunk I had to stay here." Luke shook his head at the memory and an unwilling smile touched his lips. "Sith, I was s-o-o-o-o drunk that night. I can't believe Karrde and Mara were able to walk back to their ships." He looked at the glass in his hand and swirled the contents. "It's all right, Han. I've calmed down now." He took a swig of the amber liquid, savouring the warmth of the spirit as it travelled down his throat.

Han could see Luke relax and the invisible armour he'd been shielding himself with faded away and the pain and worry inherent in Luke's suddenly tired expression became clear. The blue eyes were dull and his face pale. Han always thought of Luke as being tanned. The very first time he had seen Luke, he'd been brown from the two suns of his home planet, blue eyes startling in his youthful face. He steered his brother-in-law to the sofa and pushed him down. "Leia's right; you don't love Callista."

"No, I don't."

"Tell her."

"I did, but it was at the wrong time and in the wrong place and Callista doesn't need me rejecting her in the glare of Coruscant's publicity machine and I don't know if she totally believed me."

"Why did she come back, then?"

"I don't know yet. She hasn't regained her Force ability - that was the reason she left me in the first place - and the last place she wanted to go was…"

"Yavin IV." Han finished Luke's sentence for him. "I see it now, but I still don't understand why she's turned up again."

"Neither do I, to be truthful, and she hasn't told me yet." He shrugged." I've barely been alone with her…"

"You've together every day," Han interrupted.

"No. I've only taken her to public places. She's just been in the hall of my apartment and I didn't take her to reunite with my family, as she's not part of it – not any more. Subconsciously she must know, but I wonder if she truly believes me."

"Have you discussed this with Mara?"

"Mara!" Luke's voice rose and he took a deliberate swallow of his whisky, coughing and spluttering when it went down the wrong way. "How did you know Mara was on Coruscant?"

"Mara is? I didn't know."

"I've not seen Mara for weeks… months. She didn't seem to want to talk when Callista and I bumped into her. She was a bit…"

"Hostile?" Han questioned.

"Yeah," Luke shrugged. "I guess that's the right word. Mara was hostile, but what's new?"

"Look, kid… I think you should go talk to Mara. She always sees things clearer than you do."

"She doesn't like Callista much," Luke murmured as if he'd just realised that fact.

"Exactly," murmured Han, his lop-sided grin appearing briefly. "I said Mara saw things clearer than you did. Have you ever wondered why she doesn't like Callista?"

"I don't know. I never thought about it, to be honest." Luke's face took on a wistful expression as he remembered seeing her at the restaurant; there had been something about her – just something... He turned to face Han. "What's Callista ever done to Mara Jade?"

Han returned to the lounge after waving Luke away. "He didn't say much and I didn't expect him to."

Leia sank down into the seat her brother had so recently vacated. "I didn't expect him to either, but I hoped he might say a little. You can usually manage to worm something out from a Givin's exoskeleton in deep space."

Han passed her a drink and watched as his delicate-looking wife took a hearty swallow and threw her head back against the cushions gasping.

"I thought you said this was regular strength."

"It is… sort of." He fell into the space next to Leia curving into her side. "You were eavesdropping." He kissed her cheek. "I love you when you're predictable."

Leia lifted her head and brown eyes sparkled indignantly into hazel. "He's my brother."

"Who wanted to be left alone."

"No he doesn't. It's not good for him."

"And I'm your husband."

"What's that got to do with it?"

"I don't know, but I'm willing to bet on my best smuggler's hunch that Luke has gone to have a little chat with Mara Jade."

"Mara! She's away in the corporate sector on a run for Karrde."

"Uh-uh!" Han began to kiss his wife's neck and Leia moved her collar to allow him better access to her soft skin. "You're wrong, sweetheart." His nimble fingers found the fastenings allowing him greater freedom. "Mara Jade arrived on Coruscant this evening."

"Luke told you… ah… yes…" Leia's voice turned breathy and a low moan escaped her parted lips.

"Nope!" Han blinked as his wife began to do some exploring of her own. '_Damn, that felt good!' _"Got a message from Karrde yesterday. He's worried about her or something. She's here to see Luke."

"What?" Leia pulled herself swiftly from Han's arms, her hair flushed and the shining nut-brown hair escaping untidily from its arrangement. "Mara's here to see Luke?"

"I just said that," Han muttered irritably, interrupted in his task.

"Han Solo! What are you not telling me?"

Han sat up and pulled Leia back into his arms. He'd had enough discussion for one evening. It was time for a little action. "They're friends and Jedi… why shouldn't she be here to see Luke?"

"I don't know. You tell me." The look in her brown eyes sharpened. "Karrde is worried about Mara, who in turn is worried about Luke…"

"Because Callista's back."

"Mara's worried about Callista?" Leia uttered sharply.

"No, she's worried about Callista upsetting Luke." Han explained slowly, as if to one of the twins when they were being at their most obtuse. "Mara and Luke…" He finished with a sigh as if that explained it all.

The glow rod switched on in Leia's head. "You are a devious, conniving, manipulative…"

Hans lips closed over hers keeping her words from the air.

"Mara and Luke!" Leia gasped breathlessly, when Han let her go. "I'm beginning to see infinite possibilities." She wriggled from his grasp and stood up, extending her hand out to him. "You sure she's not just here for some Jedi training or to close out another deal for Karrde."

"Or a mission that only Luke can help her with," Han continued with a wicked chuckle. "I've considered all those scenarios, sweetheart, and I've come to the conclusion that Mara is rather fond of your brother."

"She'd die rather than admit it."

"Maybe," he drawled. "But she may want to save Luke from himself this time, or just make sure he's happy."

"Mara's interested in Luke romantically?"

"Interesting concept, isn't it?" Han grinned and lifted his wife into his arms. "The only problem is, apart from Callista, who I'm beginning to think might be a catalyst and not a problem…"

"Don't tell me," Leia murmured dryly. "I think I can guess the problem - Luke and Mara themselves."

"I married a woman with beauty AND brains." Han laughed and bore his wife out of the room towards bed.


	5. Part 5

**Watching, Waiting and Hoping – Part 5**

**by Ash D**

**Disclaimer etc – The characters and situations used in this fic are the property of George Lucas and Lucasfilm. Thanks also to the great Zahn and KJA. The rating in this has moved up a little so it is verging on the PG13 in this chapter. Please read and review**.

Luke slouched into the anonymity of his robe and kicked a few pieces of dropped rubbish with the toe of a dusty, black, knee-high, leather boot. '_Go and see Mara. She sees things clearer than you.'_ "Hah!" he scoffed quietly. "Mara has so many neuroses I can't see why she should see _my_ problems any clearer." Still, Luke felt drawn to the trader. She'd never leave him and disappear. He might not hear from her for months, but she was always there, ready to fight his corner if she had to. He'd saved her life and she'd saved his. If they'd been Wookiees they would have been together for eternity. "Whoa!" Luke stopped in shock at the strange notion. "We'd kill each other long before that… or would we?" It was an uncomfortable idea. Yet here he was, hands in pockets, shoulders hunched, wandering along the walkway on the way to his own apartment and he knew he would call at Mara's first. The fact struck him again, but this time with all the effect of a Death Star Superlaser. Mara Jade would _never_ have left him without a word in the way that Callista had. Whatever happened between them, the major arguments, the minor disagreements, nothing would make Mara betray him in that way.

Strange how he viewed Callista's disappearance as a betrayal.

The apartment block was one that had been stuck on the back of the Imperial palace like an unsightly carbuncle. Luke thought it might have previously housed security or even some of the domestic staff but, as he'd said to Callista earlier, most of his friends were housed in this part of the city.

He keyed in his access code and wandered slowly into the pristine lobby, the shining marble the only evidence of its status as a home for the Rebellion's elite. With a mounting sense of trepidation, Luke waited for the turbolift to take him to his destination. He'd faced the Emperor and Darth Vader and here he was more apprehensive of facing Mara Jade. The confusing thing was that they were _friends._ Luke considered Mara one of the truest friends he had and he'd never felt like this before. They hadn't parted in anger, there had been a little awkwardness on her part, but with Mara you never knew what to expect. She was a complex and demanding woman. Luke frowned in confusion. He couldn't work out why he felt like this; he only knew he had to see Mara immediately.

The last time he'd seen her was on Yavin IV, a routine stop-off en route to some outpost of Karrde's. She'd brought supplies for the Academy with her, for which he was grateful. Luke had run all the way down to the landing pad as soon as he heard the '_Jade's Fire'_ had docked. When the entrance ramp had lowered, Luke had felt a breathless rush of excitement at the thought of seeing her and he wasn't disappointed. She'd stood at the door dressed in a dark green shipsuit, and smiled at him; the sun had glinted off her hair, the burnished colour of real fire and added flames to the green of her eyes. A pang had worked its way to his heart and he'd gasped a little, and then buried the feeling deep inside him. He'd thrown his arms around her in a welcoming hug and then leaving his arm over her shoulders had walked her to the great temple. It had been good to have her with him.

He pressed the door com and waited… and waited… and waited. She wasn't in. Luke's shoulders lowered in disappointment until a thought struck him and he stretched out with the Force. Her presence immediately surrounded him with its warmth and sparkling vitality. Luke pressed the door com and left his finger on it. Still no Mara Jade opened the door and berated him for waking her up. '_Waking her up!' – uh-oh. _Luke took his finger off the door com and slapped his hand against his forehead. She was asleep. It was in the middle of the night. How could he be so thoughtless? 'Typical', he thought. 'Too immersed in your own problems to think of others'. He turned and guiltily crept away…

"What in Sith's name are _you_ doing here at this time of night?"

The voice was low and tired but if it could have, it would have flayed the skin from his bones.

Luke stopped, carefully turned to face the speaker and when he did, his jaw dropped in shock. Mara Jade stood in front of him, her hair falling to her waist in an untidy tumble of red-gold curls and clad in something Luke had never imagined. But the item of clothing she was wearing left little to his thoughts which had suddenly become uncomfortably vivid.

"Skywalker!"

He just stared, his mouth open.

"Skywalker! Hello… anybody there?"

Mara took a step forward and waved her hand in front of the bemused Jedi's face. He blinked a couple of times and Mara watched as his eyes grew large and a flush covered his cheekbones.

"Luke!"

He took a couple of steps backwards and banged straight into the opposite wall. Mara chuckled wickedly, the sound emerging from low in her throat.

"Mara… I didn't mean to wake you up."

"Well you did, Farmboy. If I hadn't guessed it was you, Skywalker, you might have been full of holes or missing another appendage." She slid up the hem of the lacy thing Luke thought she was almost wearing and pointed to a small blaster attached to her thigh.

"Mara… you're…" Luke stumbled, the words tripping over his suddenly clumsy tongue. "Can't you put something on?"

For a moment, Mara's face matched her hair, then the colour faded to its usual creamy perfection and she vanished into her apartment. Luke stood awkwardly in front of the open door. What was he supposed to do now?

'_For goodness' sake, Skywalker, get yourself in here now – if you're staying?'_ Her voice murmured dryly in his head and he jet-propelled himself inside.

Mara moved to her bedchamber and covered her sleep attire with a dark green tunic, tying back her hair as she did so. The sight of Luke standing dumbstruck in front of her had, for a second, made her forget a few things - or rather, one thing. For the second time in a matter of hours she stood in front of her reflector asking herself questions.

'_I wonder why he's here? He could have been with Callista and yet, he's here to see me.'_

Her face warmed again at the image she must have presented. She'd been deeply asleep when the door com had sounded and it had taken a while for it to properly penetrate her dream. She'd felt his Force probe and then his withdrawal and she'd dragged the sleep from her mind and herself from her bed and opened the door. Mara grimaced at her reflection in the glass. She'd been so intent on stopping him from escaping that she'd not bothered thinking about the lacy sleeping shift she'd pulled from her bag. It didn't hide very much of her body and part of her cringed with embarrassment, while another part rejoiced. There wasn't much wrong with her body. It was strong and slim with curves in all the right places and Luke had, for the first time in years, seen her as a woman and not a budding Jedi or a friend to rely on in a crisis. Mara's eyes widened at the thought as she relived Luke's heated blue gaze on her body. He'd looked all right. She recalled the memory of how she had felt as his eyes had traced slowly from her ankle to her neck, lingering, caressing and then, embarrassed, Luke had flushed and stared at anything rather than Mara.

_'I wonder what he was thinking? Do I have to thank Callista for reawakening his libido? Does he realise that he really saw 'me' and not the walking sack of Jedi potential, or has he pushed it from his mind already? Has Luke seen me and yet isn't aware he desires me?' _

Mara bit her lip, making it bleed. As the bead of blood appeared on her lip, she gathered her hair into a rope and braided it quickly. Darting out her tongue, she smoothed the blood from her lips. She couldn't delay any longer; she had to face Luke.

_'He wants me, he doesn't know it, yet, but he does. I saw desire in his eyes. What about Callista? Does he still want her? It's possible to love more than one person at a time, but will Luke know the difference between love and mere body chemistry? If he does…'_ Her mind quailed at the thought. _'Which category do I fall into?"_

Luke paced back and forth in Mara's lounge. It was even emptier than his own was, and that was saying something. He stared at her closed bedroom door. What was she doing in there that was taking so long? He pushed away the sight of her in the lacy sleeping shift, the smooth legs which seemed to go on forever, the soft curve of her breasts, the rosy nipple peeking through the fabric aching for a man's mouth to close over it… Yeah… he pushed all those things to the part of his mind marked 'Do not open'… the part of his mind which only awakened when he dreamed. Luke Skywalker hadn't quite forgotten how to dream, but he hadn't dared do it for a long time. Dreams were for other people, not for him.

He slumped into a chair and put his head in his hands. Now that he was here, he wasn't sure what to say to Mara. Perhaps he'd better go. Had Mara had gone into her bedchamber and fallen asleep? Yeah, and maybe there's a rancor in my pocket.

Mara stood silently at the chamber door and watched him as he drew his hands wearily over his face. She felt the uncertainty at the core of his spirit and his bone-deep tiredness.

Without a sound she tiptoed over the polished wooden floor and laid her hand gently on his shoulder. "Luke," she whispered. "What is it?"

He lifted his head and peered at her in the darkness, his face illuminated only by the constant flickering lights of the city planet.

"Nothing," he said, pushing away his tiredness and smiled at her.

Mara moved away and lit a couple of lamps before walking towards the kitchen. "Don't lie to me, farmboy," she threw carelessly over her shoulder as she sauntered away. "You wouldn't be here unless there was something wrong."

"We're friends," he countered evenly. "Friends visit each other."

There was a dry bark of laughter. "Not in the middle of the night. And besides…"

Luke could hear the sound of water boiling and the chink of the sturdy earthenware mugs he knew Mara liked. She may look like a piece of Alderaani china but she preferred to drink her caf in something solid.

"Besides what?" He directed his voice towards the open kitchen door.

"You've never been here before." Mara emerged carrying two large mugs of steaming hot liquid.

"I have."

"Haven't."

He frowned. "I _have_."

"Nope." She handed him one of the mugs. "Watch! It's hot!" she exclaimed, then laughed when he burnt his tongue.

"Have been here."

"Have not."

"I have, I'm sure I have… Haven't I?" He searched the laughing green eyes for the answer.

Mara took a sip of caf and shook her head. "Sorry Jedi, you've never been here."

"It's very…"

"It's empty and you know it. I'm never here - well, hardly ever - so I haven't had time to decorate." She took a deep breath; Luke had relaxed a bit and his blue eyes had begun to smile a little more. How to introduce the topic that the whole galaxy wanted to know about? Mara included herself amongst them.

"Now tell me," Mara commanded, kneeling by the side of Luke's chair, her green eyes dark and serious. "What's wrong? And don't give me any excuses, Farmboy. I know you far too well."

"I told you…"

"Luke…" Mara stretched out his name warningly. "You might as well tell me what you came for. You didn't wake me up in the middle of the night for nothing. Even _you_ are not that naïve, Jedi Master." She pushed her rope of hair over her shoulder and manoeuvred herself into a more comfortable position. "I suppose it's about Callista – isn't it?"

"Yes." Luke hesitated. "But…"

Mara interrupted him with a brisk air of false cheerfulness which sat awkwardly between them. "She's back, you waited for her, you can be happy together. End of story."

Luke frowned. "It's not like that at all and you know it."

"Then tell me. I'm here for you," she asserted gently, even though she was hurting inside. _'Sith, of course I'm here for you.'_

Luke sat, the light from the lamp creating a burnished halo around his tousled head. He could feel her hurt. Somewhere on a deeper level they connected together but he didn't understand it.

"You must be happy she's returned. You spent such a long time seeking her out."

"I was, I mean I am, but…"

"She hasn't regained her use of the Force?"

Luke shook his head. "No, she hasn't."

"I thought as much. I could sense you, even with your shields, but I couldn't feel or sense her at all. The only thing was…" Mara tilted her head to one side in thought. "I could feel an empty spot in the area around you. But I think that was only because she was with you and you are so strongly imbued with the Force that it reflects all around you."

"I feel very confused," Luke whispered. "I mourned her loss – I mourned the loss of the hope that I might have a home and a family with the woman I loved. I strayed too near the dark side on many occasions because of that loss. In the end it was too much."

"You let her go from your heart. You don't love her." Mara's voice remained quiet, but the sureness was undeniable. "Luke, you never did love her…"

"I did …" He was up out of the chair, his hands clenched into fists, furious blue eyes blazing down into Mara's bright green one's. "How can you say that I didn't love her? I would have done anything for her. Han said you could see things clearer than I did and you tell me _this_!" Luke's voice dripped with confused anger.

"Would you have lost the Force for her?" The question hung in the air like an Imperial Destroyer and with possibly the same effect as if its entire arsenal had been trained on an Ewok village.

The tortured man stopped dead and turned to stare at the seated girl. "Would I have what?" he asked harshly, his blue eyes pinning her in place with the strength of laser bolts.

Mara arose and walked to stand in front of Luke. They stood face to face, each trying to fathom the other's secrets. "Would you, if you could have, lost the Force so that you could truly have become Callista's equal?"

"That situation never arose," Luke muttered, confused. "The Force is my destiny – my life. I can't be less than I am."

Mara's heart broke inside. "No, I guess you can't. You never could."

"Callista would never have allowed it, even if it had been possible. I couldn't have gone through with it. It would have driven me mad. To be forever dark, like the effect ysalamiri has on our kind. That's the only way I could understand what she was going through. My duty is to the Force and the galaxy. I have to look beyond my own personal happiness. I am the Jedi Master."

"Yes, you are and it's been a lonely and difficult path for you. But no one should forgo their own contentment at the expense of everything else. Callista came along at a time when you were feeling the strain of the burden you had willingly assumed. You are only human, Luke, and sometimes you did far too much too soon - took on too many students, dabbled in things you did not understand…"

Luke turned his white, tired face to stare at Mara. "I had to do those things. I was all there was. I hoped Callie might have been able to share them with me. She'd been a Jedi in the Old Republic, she'd undergone the type of training I hadn't had the luxury of enjoying. I was needed to fulfil a task, carry out a function, and I was rushed through Jedi training. I hoped she might be able to teach me to be a better Jedi."

"Oh, Luke." Mara's voice soothed. She could almost see and feel the weight of the burden he was carrying.

"I thought I loved her. At the beginning it was wonderful between us. We were happy…" he qualified his statement with a shrug. "I was happy and I assumed Callista was too. Then this rift appeared and it was the Force. The power that makes me who and what I am had the potential to break us apart and it did so. She left me but told me to wait. When she regained her Force ability she would return to me."

"You did wait, Luke."

"No, I didn't. I've told you this. I let her image go from my heart. Maybe you're right and if I had loved her properly I would still be waiting for her. I would be grateful that she had come back to me. I wouldn't have cared about anything - where she'd been, whom she'd been with and how long she'd been away. None of it would have mattered."

"Luke, I…"

"Perhaps I'm not capable of such a love… Perhaps I don't deserve it."

Mara had had enough and reached out, grabbed his shoulders and shook him with as much strength as she possessed. "Luke Skywalker, I don't ever want to hear you talking that way again." Her green eyes drilled holes into his blue ones. Fire shot out of them, her expression intent on making him see that he was wrong, and her heart clenched with the pain of feeling his anguish. _'Oh, Luke, Can't you see how I feel,' _her heart cried inside her.

Luke rocked lightly on the balls of his feet as Mara continued to try and shake sense into him. He hadn't realised she was so small without her customary boots. He didn't exactly have his father's height either, so she would match him perfectly. Luke blinked at the strange thought popping into his mind. He also sensed that she was in pain. Was that anguish for him?

"I don't know what to do, Mara."

"I can't tell you, Luke. I can advise you, tell you what I think, but in the end it has to be your decision."

"I know I don't love her. I sat and looked at her and she's still beautiful and I felt nothing for her… _nothing_. The thing is, Mara… she's a nice person – a _good_ person, but I can't love her any more."

"Can't…" Mara echoed.

"I _don't _love her. I told her…"

"You actually told her that you didn't love her?"

"Yes, I did, but I don't know if she believed me and I'm not sure if that love can't come back. What if the resentment I'm feeling is preventing me from loving her again?"

"How long has she been back?"

"Three weeks," Luke murmured.

"And you've seen her every day?"

"Yes."

"When did you decide that you didn't love her?"

"I'm not sure, but it was pretty quick. At first I was overjoyed. I assumed she had found the Force and had returned so could get married and have lots of little Jedi babies." He spoke self-deprecatingly, but Mara could tell the words pained him. "It wasn't long before I sat looking into her grey eyes, telling myself with a sort of panic that I just felt numb with the shock of her return. I soon came to the conclusion that I just felt empty. I felt nothing for her. I was happy to see her, but she didn't affect me or the life I'm leading in any way."

"Suppose…" Mara's tongue slipped out to moisten her, suddenly dry, lips. "Suppose you can't love her because you're in love with someone else." Her voice faded to a whisper.

"In love with someone else?" Luke's voice cracked. "Who would I be in love with?"

Mara stared into his blue eyes, so close that she could feel his breath on her cheek. She swallowed, suddenly uncomfortable at how near she was to him, and retreated a few steps. Clearing her throat, she tried to inject a less emotionally charged mood into the proceedings. "It's been all over the holonet – you and her."

"Oh, sithspawn, don't remind me. I've had a reporter on my tail virtually twenty-six hours a day. I lost him on my way to Han and Leia's and he was nowhere around when I came here. Just as well, with you running around the corridor in next to er… nothing." He went scarlet and closed his mouth with a snap. "Do you sleep in that?"

"Mind your own business, Jedi." Mara bit out, mortified that he'd brought up the matter of her sleeping attire, or lack of it.

"It was… nice."

"Nice!"

"It was a bit… well, nice." He went red again and Mara's ire vanished. Luke might be the Jedi Master, but there was still a part of him that remained innocent. A sudden desire to make him squirm caused her eyes to light up. "I'll answer your question, farmboy. I don't usually sleep in anything at all. You're lucky you caught me on an off day. That piece of 'nice' cost many credits. Less fabric doesn't always mean a cheaper price."

Luke went white.

"Did I say something to upset you, Skywalker?" Mara's tone lightly mocked him. "You've gone very quiet."

"I'd better go."

Mara chuckled maliciously. "If you are going to win back the fair Callista you can't pass out with shock every time she leaves some intimate item of apparel lying around. She is a woman too." A red-gold eyebrow arched and a slim hand ran teasingly over Luke's tunic collar, pulling at the flap at his neck until the scrap of blue lining fell contrastingly over the black cloth.

He brought his hands up and took hold of Mara's meaning to remove them from his body, but as soon as Luke grasped Mara's slender fingers with his own, all thoughts of letting go vanished from his mind. His pulse increased, and his heart sent the blood rushing through his body

They stood as still as statues, gazing once more into each other's eyes. Without volition, Mara drifted closer and her eyelids fluttered shut, her lips parting in an unconscious desire to feel his covering her own. Luke felt himself sway nearer and nearer…

His eyes took in the picture Mara made and then registered how close they had become, their hands trapped between their bodies. Luke suddenly felt part of himself begin to react and, appalled and ashamed, he jerked away, willing his unexpectedly aroused body to calm down.

Mara's eyes flew open and she took in the situation and the shock coming at her through the Force. She jerked back out of range and glanced nervously at the wall chrono. "It's late, Skywalker. Perhaps you'd better go home," she muttered, gazing at him with wide eyes, brighter than polished jewels. She didn't want to be kissed out of pity or experimentation. The fact that she'd been more than ready to do the kissing vanished from her mind.

"Mara…" Luke said quietly. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to..."

She shifted on the soles of her bare feet. "It's okay. I'm glad you can come to me."

"Who else would listen to me? Han was right. You do see things more clearly than anyone else does. I wonder why?"

Mara swallowed painfully. "It's because we are friends and I…" She looked down and cleared her suddenly constricted throat. "I care for you very much." Her green eyes gazed directly into his, the honesty shining clear and true. "If you need to talk some more, I'll be here for a while. I've taken a leave of absence from Karrde's employ."

Luke's blue eyes widened in amazement. "Mara! Is anything wrong? You're not ill or…" His voice quickened with concern.

"No, Skywalker." She smiled at him. "I'm fine."

"You sure? I had a vision of you…"

"Luke." Mara's sigh was deep and tired. She wasn't ready for this, but she should have known; Luke even in the midst of his own troubles, still had time for hers. It was difficult to tell him that he was most of them all rolled into one tempting man. "Go home and get some sleep. Saber practise tomorrow?"

Luke paused for a moment. "I don't know… yeah, why not?" It would be good to loosen up with a little exercise. No one ran him as close in a saber fight as Mara did. He grinned at her, suddenly enervated despite the tired lines around his white face and the exhaustion he was fighting in his body, and Mara could only smile in response.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Looking forward to it." He took a step closer to Mara and hesitated. "I'm glad you're here for me, Jade."

Mara's smile faded and their eyes caught and held once more. "You'd better go," she all but whispered.

"Yeah." And still he could not take his eyes from her face and actually leave.

"Skywalker?"

"Mm-hm."

"Is this a staring competition? If it is, you will lose.

The sharp comment broke the strangely seductive spell of her spring green gaze and Luke blushed, laughed and relaxed. "It's just you've gotten so pretty, that's all." He coloured again and Mara found herself reacting in the same way at the clumsy compliment. Luke had surprised her with that one and he appeared to be as taken aback himself. It was unlike him to be so bold.

"I'll see you tomorrow. The door, Skywalker…" She pointed. "Is that way."


	6. Part 6

**Watching, Waiting & Hoping 6**

Usual disclaimers apply. I have no money and please don't sue.

**Imperial****Palace**** – Exercise facility**

Leia wandered through the halls of the Imperial palace on her way to her office. She was tired and a little irritable, but her disgruntled morning mood faded in a rush of remembered heat as she recollected Han's passionate lovemaking the previous evening. The route to her office took her past the viewing platform for the exercise halls and she cast a casual glance below to see if any twisted individuals were actually exercising at such an early time in the morning. The clash of lightsabers drew her attention and it looked like the combatants were filled with deadly intent. Leia leant over the observation rail, which ran right around the training area, and marvelled at the skill shown. A fair-haired man in a grey vest faced off against a slender red-headed girl in a green body suit. The combined power in the Force could be clearly felt as the lightsabers sizzled and sparked. The pair spun, tumbled and dived, narrowly missing injuring the other in a true test of skill and dexterity. Leia gasped in horror as the man tripped and fell, but still managed to outwit the graceful girl and with a triumphant laugh hooked her blue saber and arced it away from her.

_Luke and Mara._

She smiled as Luke collapsed to the ground beside his companion, both of them breathing heavily. Luke turned and crawled to where a couple of towels and a carafe of water waited and threw a remark at his winded cohort. Mara threw back her head and laughed. It was good to see them like this.

Leia noticed that she was not the only person watching the good-natured contest. Across from where she stood, she observed a tall loose-limbed woman with a malt crown of braided hair, who stood surveying the Jedi with serious, large grey eyes. She walked closer, calling out quietly.

"Callista?"

The woman turned with a sharp intake of breath, her hand flying to her mouth as if she had been caught indulging in something forbidden. "Leia?" she queried quietly.

"I've not changed much in eight years, Callista. Have I?"

"I didn't expect to see you here."

"Why not? This is the Imperial Palace. My office is still here."

"I thought you were away somewhere… with Han."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I suppose it's because Luke hasn't said very much about you…arranged a meeting. I figured you were away. You are often off-world."

"Luke is…" She shrugged her shoulders. "You know how he is. He sometimes doesn't say much." There was a strained silence between the two women. "You could have visited us by yourself, you know." Leia remarked mildly. "I thought we were friends."

Callista looked down at the couple duelling below her. "I didn't know how you would feel if I suddenly turned up at your door after…"

"Eight years?" Leia finished grimly as she remembered what the Jedi woman had put her brother through. "You hurt my brother very deeply, Callista, and I don't think he's recovered from the way you deserted him."

"You're very to the point."

"And you're very cold."

"I can understand your wariness, Leia. The last person I ever wanted to hurt was Luke."

"Yet you did."

Callista fidgeted under Leia's penetrating stare. "I know." The admission emerged soft and pained. "But Leia, consider my position. Luke couldn't marry someone without the Force."

"I did," was all that Leia said. She considered it all that needed to be said.

"It was different for you," Callista declared desperately, her grey eyes filling with tears. "You are not head of the Jedi order."

"Do you think the head of the Jedi Order cared?"

"Of course he didn't care. He's Luke," she said simply. "I made a mistake, Leia. I left him to look for the Force and all I found was misery and failure. I can touch the Force, but only through the dark side. Nothing I tried worked. I've finally given up and accepted the inevitable."

"You've given up your search?"

"I guess you might call it that, and the only thing I have left is Luke's love for me. I came back to see if he felt the same. I know I do."

Leia's heart slammed into her ribs, leaving an uncomfortably sick sensation in the pit of her stomach. "Have you told Luke all of this?" She stared over the barrier to where Luke had his arm around Mara Jade demonstrating some sort of manoeuvre with the hilt of his saber.

"No, he hasn't asked. I thought he would know. He just said he was glad I was back. He did…" Callista paused to moisten trembling lips. "He did say that he didn't love me any more." She stared directly into Leia's appalled brown gaze. "It can't be true. He has to love me. It's the only thing I have left."

_'Stars'_ Leia thought. "Callista… I don't know what to say."

"It's all right Leia. I don't know what you _can_ say."

Leia looked up at the taller woman, her mouth firming as she made a decision. This wasn't really interfering. "Luke's right, you know. He doesn't love you. We both owe you a great debt. In fact, I owe you my life, but I cannot fill you with false hopes and neither can Luke. Face the truth, Callista. Over those eight years, Luke fell out of love with you. That part of his life is in the past."

"He _does_ still love me; he's only forgotten…"

Leia shook her head and, for the first time in the conversation, pity filled her dark eyes. "I can only say again that I'm sorry."

"He's not found any one else has he – I still have a chance?"

Leia hesitated and glanced quickly over the railing to where Luke and Mara had abandoned whatever they'd been doing and were sitting close together deep in conversation. "He…" She turned away and headed towards the turbolift, Callista followed with a persistent expression on her face.

"Leia, he's not found someone else?" she repeated. "Has he?"

"Didn't you ask him that?"

Callista stared down at her brown leather boots. "I couldn't ask him. I was afraid of what he might say."

"You've not told him why you came back either."

"I couldn't say, 'I've don't have the Force back, Luke, so I'll just make do with you after all.'"

"Why can't you just say it? It is true."

"It seems so heartless."

"You said it." '_Stang__!'_ Leia thought to herself, that wasn't very diplomatic. '_But it was true,'_ she thought.

The turbolift came to a halt with a soft chime. "This is my floor," Leia murmured as the door slid silently open.

"Mine too," Callista answered. "I thought I would go and meet Luke."

"Is he expecting you?"

"No, he still can't sense me through the Force, but I left a message for him. Luke's obviously been here since early this morning, so he won't have received it. I expected that so I came here to meet him. He said he sometimes came here early in the morning before too many people were about."

"He's been training with Mara, and she doesn't like crowds watching her train either." Leia reached out with the Force to locate her brother's sense. "You've been monopolising his time while he's been here, so far. He needed a work out"

"I wanted him to get to know me again, get used to me being in his life again – to fall in love with me again."

"Well…" Leia drawled in her best imitation of her husband. "He does need to spend time with other people and he has agreed to train Mara when she is on Coruscant. It doesn't happen often that she and Luke are here at the same time. She's still busy working for Talon Karrde."

"Oh!" murmured Callista softly relieved to hear that the Jedi Master and the red-haired woman were only occasional sparring partners. "They look as if they've spent a lot of time together."

"They have a bond through the Force," Leia explained, unconsciously cruel. "It doesn't seem to matter how long they are apart. They just take off from where they last finished."

With a soft hiss, the door just along from where Leia and Callista were standing, slid open and there, exiting the exercise facility, were Luke and Mara Jade - eyes brimming with laughter over some joke or other. Leia was surprised to see how well the pair was getting on and she hadn't forgotten her discussion with Han either. Mara and Luke – yes, it was possible – infinitely possible. In fact, she couldn't recall seeing her brother so happy and relaxed in a long time. She sent a warning to her brother that Callista was here and he lifted his head, gazing round to locate her presence.

Mara saw them first and Leia felt her stiffen, whisper something to Luke and make as if to leave. Luke frowned and caught her hand to stay her. It was fleeting but Leia could have sworn that the touch on Mara's hand turned into a caress, as if Luke's flesh enjoyed being next to Mara's. And as for Mara… Leia was sure the feeling was reciprocated because the innocent stroke lingered.

_'Well, well_… _the wily old Corellian Pirate._' There wasn't much that got past Han and he didn't even have the Force. '_I have to hand it to you, Solo,'_ Leia mused silently and moved to block Callista's view of the Jedi. "Luke and Mara are nearly finished. He says to go on ahead and he'll join us for a caf."

"I could wait…" Callista could still sense Leia's resentment but she didn't need the Force to be able to do that.

"Nonsense," Leia uttered briskly. "You and I have things to catch up on. It's been a long time and I don't have to start work immediately." '_Anything to give that brother of mine some more time.'_

Luke hadn't enjoyed himself this much for a long time. He'd put his ambiguous late night parting with the beautiful trader behind him and had indulged in a sparring match the like he hadn't experienced since the last time Mara had visited him on Yavin IV. There was no one that could match him like she did. They'd fought like true adversaries and, free to tumble and dive in the specially created environment, had eventually collapsed, panting and laughing, to the floor.

"You've given me a run for my credits this time, Jade," Luke grinned breathlessly at her. His heart, if he had known it, was in his eyes as he took in Mara's equally flushed and sweaty appearance. Her hair was coming undone from its plait and was plastered sleekly against neck and shoulders, left bare by the brief exercise suit she wore. He traced her shapely figure with his eyes, adding it to the other memories captured the previous evening – the black lace, slipping from the creamy skin of her satiny shoulders, the rounded breasts with the rosy nipples straining through the sheer, embroidered fabric, taunting him, tempting him, calling him to taste and tease, until they burgeoned into aching fullness.

"I need water," she gasped as she recalled her lightsaber to her side.

"So do I," Luke's plea was heartfelt. "Hold on,"

Mara chuckled weakly as Luke crawled to where the water containers sat.

"I thought the Jedi trained body as well as mind. Yours looks as if it has just given up." It wasn't true; Mara let her eyes drift over Luke's well-sculpted chest, covered in the clinging grey fabric, leaving his muscular arms and shoulders bare. For a moment she was presented with a view of firm, grey clad buttocks and if she hadn't been so dry, her mouth might have watered in anticipation.

"I recover quickly," Luke countered, "But I'm not as young as I used to be."

"You're in good shape," Mara blurted out and then bit her tongue in horror.

"I would say you are too, Trader Jade. But there's never been a lot wrong with your shape…" _'Oh sithspit!'_ Luke winced in anticipation of Mara's anger, with the vision of his lightsaber pointing at his own chest. What on earth was up with him? He'd never risked Mara's wrath in such an obvious fashion before and now he was doing it on a regular basis. She was going to kill him. The impulsive tendencies he'd had as a youth were still with him and were going to get him into as much trouble as they did back then.

But all Mara did was give him a surreptitious glower and close her mental shields up tight. "I said I was thirsty, Skywalker," she growled.

"Right," he murmured and threw her a water container.

"How did you…?" Mara asked about a technique Luke had used during their practise session and Luke used the opportunity to show her, putting his arm around her to demonstrate the exact angle of the thrust. Involved in their mutual learning Luke and Mara failed to spot Callista as she watched from above and also didn't sense Leia viewing them.

"What about meeting up later?" Luke suggested casually. "I could cook you supper."

"Aren't you busy with whatsername?"

"Mara!" She felt his irritation through the Force. "I told you how I felt about her."

"I don't know that I believe you. You've stayed faithful for nearly _eight years!"_

"That's not true."

"Not true" Mara's eyebrows rose in astonishment. "What do you mean – not true?"

"I haven't been in love with her for a very long time now. I did love her," he muttered defensively, still remembering Mara's comments the previous night. "But when she didn't return - the love got fainter and fainter until it faded away. Nobody asked me what I really felt until now. Nobody wondered if I was heart whole or heart broken until now. Nobody – just you."

"Leia and Han?"

"They're family – but until now they've never asked either."

"But faithful?"

"Technically my body has been faithful, but that's it."

"So are you in love with someone else?" Mara's mind quivered at the enormity of her question. He'd evaded the question last night - suppose he had met someone and was just waiting for the right moment to spring it on everyone.

Luke shrugged. "I don't love Callista", he repeated.

Still, Mara noted that he hadn't denied loving any one else. She quickly sifted through women Luke might be in love with and came up with a blank. The only female he'd been with apart from his sister and Callista was Mara herself. Her insides trembled at the thought.

"What about a drink, then?" he persisted, his expression earnest under his untidy hair. "I need a break from Callie, she's getting a little too intense."

"Yeah, why not, farmboy? Could you have a drink with me because I'm trying to avoid someone else for a while." She grimaced. "How to make a girl say 'yes', Skywalker."

Luke stammered in apology. "I… I'm sorry; I didn't mean it like that, Jade. You _have_ to be so prickly. You're a friend and I would like you to come and have a drink with me, if you won't come for supper."

"Sure,"

'_Luke '_Leia's voice rang in his head. '_Callista's here. I've taken her to the tapcaf on level forty-eight. Take your time.'_

"Oh dark side of the planet Serrat!" Luke exclaimed.

Mara quirked an amused eyebrow in his direction. "Interesting use of an epithet, Luke. Don't want to corrupt the children on Yavin?"

"Yeah!" He muttered, his expression morose. "I thought I was having a Callista free morning and she's here already. I'm very fond of her and she's a lovely person. You can't get rid of the good memories all at once. It's just that she's gotten awfully persistent, almost desperate. What will it take for the message to get through to her?"

"Say it frequently," she responded tartly. "It should eventually penetrate Callista's grey matter. Some things take time to sink in. Repetition usually does the trick or hit her hard over the head with a sharp object."

"Mara!"

"You asked." She scanned furtively around seeking Leia and Callista. "I'm off then." Mara returned briskly.

"You're not going now, are you?" Luke asked Mara, his hand holding hers preventing her from running away.

"I have things to do," she muttered with a scowl, unaware that her hand still lay clasped in Luke's. "I've wasted enough time here already this morning." Mara peered up at Luke through her untidy red-gold fringe, just in time to catch the disappointment and a little hurt in his clear blue gaze. '_Oh, Sithspawn.'_"Luke, I…"

Luke's expression blanked out into the Jedi Master mode, which Mara hated. "I'm sorry, Jade," he remarked with the ageless graciousness of dignity the order instilled. "I had hoped that you might have wanted to spend a little more time on your training. It is not often we can be together. You have so much to do…"

"Listen, bud. You are not the only person in this galaxy who has a life…" She took a deep breath, ready to throw a couple more insults at him.

"No? According to you, I don't have a life. I'm too busy theorising and atrophying on Yavin IV." His hold on her hand tightened and finally Mara realised that he still held it.

"Well aren't you?" She pulled at her trapped hand and it slowly slid unwillingly free.

"I'm here, not on Yavin. Do I look as if I'm decaying away into mindless old age?" Luke's voice softened. She brought out the best and the worst in him - The greatest of friends, and yet the eternal antagonists. What made them react like this to each other? Something in Luke's being shied away from the true answer. "I'm sorry, Mara, that I'm not exciting enough for you. Cancel the drink if you want to. You, perhaps, have your life out there to go to." He remembered Han's question. '_Have you ever wondered why she doesn't like Callista, Luke?'_

"Luke…" Mara's mouth closed over his name. Strange she'd been calling him Luke more often since she'd… '_Decaying'_ – now that was amusing in a way. He didn't appear to be decaying at all. His body was still firm, there was little hint of grey at his temples and his face could still take on the youthful eager appearance he'd had when she'd first met him. And as for '_exciting_…' Something told her that under the right circumstances Luke Skywalker could be very exciting indeed. She'd never found her time with him boring, whatever she had said to his face. Under the utilitarian ship suits and functional exercise wear, her heart thundered very loudly indeed.

"If you change your mind, you know where my apartment is."

He turned and strode away and Mara was left feeling a little foolish. _'Well done, Jade,'_ she mocked herself. _'Your life is about as exciting as his is.'_


	7. Part 7

**Watching, Waiting & Hoping – Part 7**

****

Disclaimer – Lucasfilm owns the characters and situations used in this story. I borrowed them for a short while to play with them.

**Luke's Apartment**

Luke pushed his hand through his hair and sighed deeply. It had been essentially a trying day and his patience; never his strongest trait, had been severely tested. It hadn't been Callista's fault. She'd done nothing wrong, apart from walking out on him and staying away until he'd got on with his life again. Leia had been understandably tense with his former love as they had sat over a pot of caf. He wondered if there had been words said before he'd reached the caf house.

He shook his head slightly; this was Leia, his loving, interfering, loyal sister. Who was he trying to kid? Of course, Leia would have said something to Callista. He was only lucky that Han hadn't been there or Callista's conversion to the dark side would have been swift and terrible. Woe betide Callista if she'd been left alone with Mara. The former 'Emperor's Hand' called him everything under Tatooine's twin suns to his face, but would cheerfully carve up his detractors with the blue blade of what was once his father's lightsaber. He suspected it wouldn't have taken much for Mara to be like that with his former love.

He sighed again. It had been really difficult to convince Callista to leave him alone for the rest of the day, but he'd made up an excuse of having a potential student to visit later on. It wasn't exactly a lie. He was hoping that Mara might pop in for that drink he'd invited her for, but he wasn't going to hold his breath. Mara might still be sulking with him - she could keep this up for days if she had to. Luke didn't try to match her. He was stubborn, yes, but even he had his limits. Still, he hoped Mara would come in for a quick drink. It would be nice to relax with her. She didn't need to be impressed, he didn't have to think up witty conversation, she could tease him out of any mood and she could also just as quickly drive him back into one with the speed of a working hyperdrive engine. She was just Mara and he needed her for that.

Luke wandered aimlessly around his apartment. If she wasn't coming he might as well do some work and he scrabbled in a pile of data cards for one that could be interesting. Callista had written down a lot of information over the years she had been away from him, including details of her own training. She'd really been searching for a way to recover her lost ability, but she'd also found many other things about Jedi practices long gone. Luke scrunched up his face and discarded the data card he held in his hand and reached once more into the pile. Today Callista had handed him eight years worth of her research. This card probably held thousands of year's worth of Jedi information. Maybe it was better if Mara didn't visit. At this rate he was going to be reading data cards for the next eighty years. So he'd better get started.

Luke held up his final choice, slotted it into the data reader and tried to focus on what was written there. He did, he really tried to apply himself to the task, but his gaze kept straying to the bottle of good red wine he'd dug up from somewhere. He dragged his eyes back to his studies and again tried to immerse himself in the information stored within – it was very informative and interesting and… The crystal glasses he'd set out caught the light, the angles of the cut glass sending prisms of rainbow colour around his walls.

_'Oh for the want of a sandperson to ride his Bantha!'_ This was _ridiculous_. He couldn't concentrate. It was obvious that unless he went to Mara Jade she would not come to him. Luke exhaled noisily and switched off the reader. He jumped to his feet and made for the door – at least he didn't have to go far. Mara lived two floors below him.

Mara ran a comb through the tugs in her hair, wincing as she did so. Luke would be unhappy if she cut it, she'd often seen him staring at her hair, a little smile on his face. Luke - she could hear him thinking. Not what he was thinking she just knew he was thinking – loudly. '_Sithspawn, Skywalker! Why do you have to be so disruptive?'_ Force knows, he didn't mean to be, he just was. "The benefits of having an apartment in the same building," she grumbled out loud. "Hah!" She looked at her reflection in the mirror. "Hair up or down?" she asked. The girl in the middle of the gilt edged reflector grimaced but made no answer. "I asked you a question?" Mara now growled at her mirror image. She then laughed, dryly. "Why am I asking you this question, when I'm not going to go for any drink with him up there?"

Mara gave one final tug through the red-gold curls and left them to hang loosely to her waist. Force, it had grown so long. Her tunic was a vivid sea-blue and skirted the floor. She looked as if she was ready for an informal evening at home. "Which I am." Mara told herself, "I'm not going anywhere," she repeated but her feet carried her to her bedchamber once more, where she picked up a glass vial of scent and touched a little to her neck and wrists.

The Force whispered at her again, even stronger and she automatically reached back to comfort. "What am I _doing_?" she moaned. But she could feel the turmoil and the unrest from up above and then the determination. "Uh-oh" She understood. If she didn't go up for that drink there was a rather determined Jedi Master coming down to get her and an unbidden thrill of anticipation rushed through her body leaving her breathless and a little bewildered. Her heartbeat sounded loud in her own ears - loud and a little fast. Without giving it another thought, Mara grabbed her lightsaber, attached it to her waist, and left the apartment at a run.

They met when the turbolift opened and Mara exited on Luke's floor. He was there waiting to step into it.

"Oh!" he murmured feigning surprise. "Hello, Mara, going somewhere?"

Mara snorted. "Skywalker!" She looked him up and down - taking in his faded combat trousers and shabby tunic she almost smiled. "You going somewhere, farmboy?" He was so transparent, but there was enough stubbornness evident in that jaw of his and she knew him too well to know he would try and call her bluff. "So where _are_ you off to, then?"

"Thought I might go and see Leia."

"Dressed like that?" She gave the Jedi Master a pitying look, trying to hide the fact that she noticed the pants clinging to his muscular legs and hugging his thighs.

He simmered for a moment. "Leia is my sister, we're not on formal terms. Besides," he made as if to move into the turbolift. "_You_ turned down my invitation."

"I can't recall that I did," Mara stepped forward and Luke backed away.

"I thought that my company wasn't exciting enough for you, Jade." He gave her a cool stare.

"Don't pull the Bantha wool over my eyes, Farmboy. You were coming to get me, weren't you?"

Luke tried to remain aloof, but eventually his lips twitched into an unwilling half-smile. He shrugged and waved his hands about a bit. "I was coming down to remind you. Thought you might have forgotten." His eyes traced every aspect of her appearance lingering on the floating, shining curtain of her hair.

"You didn't have to." Mara replied, staring at his features, trying to memorise them. "I could feel your mood from my apartment."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You were thinking too loudly. All that woolly Bantha fluff rolling around inside that sandy head of yours was irritating." She sniffed and lifted her chin, avoiding his steady gaze.

Luke relaxed and the first real smile of the evening appeared. "I'm glad you're here," was all he said and he held out an arm. "Shall we?"

Mara ignored the proffered arm, which earned her a little frown and, when his smile dimmed a little, illogically she wanted to see it come back. But when he smiled it lightened his eyes to the colour of the skies above their heads and opened her heart even further and she had to guard her emotions. Luke Skywalker was far too dangerous to be trifled with. He could sneak in and steal away her heart far too easily and she wanted to, if she still had it, keep her heart. One thing was clear. He'd stolen some of it already because Mara Jade admitted to herself that she certainly wasn't heart whole.

Luke keyed in his entrance code and ushered Mara inside, his senses aware of the subtle trace of perfume as she passed, the faint fragrance of scent and something that was uniquely Mara's own essence. He closed his eyes; he didn't know what was wrong with him today. Mara would put everything right. He usually felt better when she was with him.

"Have a seat," He indicated the large, comfortable sofa. "Drink?"

"I thought that was why I was here?" Mara retorted snippily.

Luke raised one eyebrow and gave her his version of his sister's best stare. "Do you want a drink or don't you."

"If it is good quality, farmboy." She mocked lightly, the glow in her eyes intensifying as she looked at him.

The Jedi Master laughed lightly. "But of course, Emperor's Hand," he replied and it was his turn to feel the chill as Mara's sense shuttered. "Mara… I didn't mean…" He scrambled to sit beside her, the bottle and glasses in his hand. Placing them on a low table in front of them his mind searched to atone for his thoughtless remark. "It was a term of affection, nothing more."

"You call that affectionate?" Her voice rose incredulously.

Luke sat back his hands raised in surrender. "Well, yeah."

"Will I ever escape my past?" Her green gaze was dark and troubled.

"Your past makes you what you are today. Strong, powerful, loyal…"

"Twisted…"

"Grumpy!"

"_What! _Hey! Watch it flyboy."

"I'm not supposed to agree with you?" His eyes lit up with mirth as he picked up the bottle and poured out two glasses. "Just checking if you were listening." He raised a glass toasted her, and then scrutinised the deep rich colour of the wine. "Here Jade, this is a nice cheeky little red. Kinda like…"

"Skywalker…" Mara's voice held a warning. "Think before you open your big mouth any further."

"I only said…" He put down the glass before holding out his hands in appeal as the mischievous twinkle in the blue eyes threatened to spill over into unashamed mirth. Leaning forward, Luke picked up the glass again and brought it to Mara's lips.

"I can manage," she muttered leaning away from him, but trying to keep her head upright so that she could get her wine from Luke. "Watch or you'll spill this all over my clean tunic." She managed to wrest the glass from him but couldn't help the involuntary shiver at the touch of his hand as it grazed hers in passing. The heat of such an innocent contact left her mind spinning.

Luke grinned and poured a glass for himself, ignoring the little twinge of something lost that he felt as her hand left his. "It says here on the bottle…" He took a sip and tried to emulate the wine tasters he'd seen on various holonet shows.

Mara choked with laughter at his antics and some of the wine she was drinking went down the wrong way. Coughing and spluttering she placed her glass on the table and bent over, tears streaming from her eyes. Luke slammed his glass down on the table next to Mara's and immediately started thumping her on the back.

"Skywalker… Luke. Will you…" she bit out, between coughs.

"You okay?" He asked still hitting her.

"I was, till you started pounding me on the back - nerf." Mara wiped her streaming eyes, conscious of Luke's hand still placed on the small of her back - except that now it was gently stroking. She lifted her head and her sharp green eyes met slightly confused blue ones. As their eyes met something elusive whispered faintly through the Force. Mara tried to hide her growing awareness, but couldn't help but notice Luke's pupils dilate. She tried to move away but was prevented by Luke's hand still gently touching her back. She could feel it through the fabric of her clothes, burning where he fingered and stroked in ever increasing patterns. She ducked her head, but a careful finger underneath her chin prevented her from losing contact with the Jedi Master's disturbing gaze. Nervously her tongue wet suddenly dry lips and Luke's eyes caught the telltale little movement.

He swallowed, the tanned column of his throat moving anxiously. His fingers trailed over her cheekbones, and he watched amazed as her eyelids gently closed, red-gold lashes fluttering over creamy smooth cheeks. He'd always thought she was beautiful, but it had never struck him with such impact. He had to taste her, had to see if she was as luscious as she looked at that moment. He tightened his arms around her and pulled her closer dipping his blond head until his lips covered hers and the power of the Force swirled around them.

Luke was lost…

He'd seen desire in her eyes – powerful and addictive. She wanted him and, by the Force, he wanted her too. He'd never felt like this in his life – ever. "Mara," he whispered, his voice constricted. "Oh, Mara."

She tipped her head back so that she could stare him straight in the eyes. Luke wondered if her sharp green gaze might be able to see right through him. He speculated about what she saw in him, especially now that she was in his arms where she should have been long ago and decided that he didn't need to know. Lowering his blond head once more, his lips covered hers pushing her back until they both lay full length on the sofa, Luke's body pressing Mara into the soft cushions, his thighs resting intimately against hers. Immediately thoughts of a carnal nature swept through his bedazzled mind and all notions of Callista, nobility, the Jedi and the New Republic vanished. He brought his mouth down to nuzzle at the soft skin around her neck, feeling her rounded breasts press into the well-formed hardness of his chest, his hands beginning to roam over her body.

Mara subsided on to the sofa as his heated lips sought out her hidden pulse points. She had to say something but as she opened her mouth, Luke chose that moment to cover her soft, red lips with his own and she forgot what she was going to say.

Luke's arm closed hard and possessively about her slim waist and Mara felt an instantaneous reaction deep inside her core. His tongue thrust between her lips mirroring the act their bodies desperately wanted to echo.

Mara's eyes closed and she surrendered to Luke's magical touch, his tongue duelling with hers just like they fought in life. "Yes, Luke… yes!" Her fingers ploughed through his thick hair, holding his head secure. He moved above her and she felt the strength of his arousal against her woman's centre. Mara had never felt so much like a woman as she did in Luke's arms and she gloried in that feeling. Here was where she had wanted to be for such a long time.

She closed her mind and ears to the little nagging voice of doubt at her actions and directed her questing fingers to the fastenings of his tunic. The first realisation that Luke's hands were also as busy came as a shock when suddenly the air hit her bared breasts, but not for long. Luke's mouth latched on to one of her rose pink nipples and suckled, drawing it to an aching peak.

"I've wanted to do that since I saw you last night. Seeing you in nothing but lace, your body open to my eyes." He swallowed, the unaccustomed poetry of his words visibly affecting the woman in his arms. "The sight of your rosy tipped breasts begging for my touch… and taste…" Luke's voice rasped heavy with desire. His azure eyes caught and held the slumberous, desire filled green ones below him. "So sweet," he groaned. "So soft and beautiful." He bent his head once more lavishing attention on the other nipple.

A shiver of excitement, acute pleasure and shock shot up Mara's spine as she arched her back in further invitation, her legs moved restlessly between Luke's, urging him to complete their mating – lose himself in her softness.

For a moment, storm tossed blue met turbulent green and with a muffled exclamation Luke jumped to his feet, picked Mara up as if she weighed nothing at all, and carried her to his bed. Mara wound her arms around her neck and let him.

Luke opened his eyes to a grey Coruscant dawn. He relaxed into his pillow and let his weary body sink back into slumber. He felt as if he'd gone ten rounds with a Sith Lord, but it was early yet. He had time to sleep - time to let himself doze a little while longer. He closed his eyes and let himself almost float off on the memory of a disturbingly realistic erotic dream. He'd been making love to Mara Jade; Luke let the smile drift across his face - as if that would ever happen. He'd be dead before she let him any where near her. It had been in vivid colour, much like the lady herself, and he could still hear the sounds they'd made as he'd…

Luke moved a little restlessly and turning over inadvertently touched the warm, naked body of someone else.

It was as if someone had shoved him out into the Hoth blizzard once more without his taun-taun for company. "Oh, stars!" Luke whispered in shock. It wasn't a dream after all; he had just had the most amazing night of his entire life with Mara Jade. He had just bedded the most dangerous woman in the entire galaxy. What was _this_ going to do to their friendship? It wasn't going to help it much, he thought. Every time he had a relationship with a woman it ended in disaster and Mara was too special for him to risk the continuation of his personal curse. Mara didn't have relationships with Jedi Masters, she barely tolerated them, she hated Yavin IV and sometimes she wasn't too fond of Luke either.

He lay on his back afraid to move, the questions - the images - all buzzing around his overloaded brain. He'd kissed every part of her delectable body, he'd made love to her more than once and Mara hadn't denied him anything. She'd been just as involved as he had – just as enthralled. Just as _lost_.

Luke shifted carefully to the edge of the bed, feeling the springs give a little as he moved, and reached out cautiously with the Force to the woman by his side, but she was still beautiful in slumber. Swinging his legs slowly to the floor, Luke sat, shoulders hunched, head bowed and covered his face with his hands. '_What a mess. What a Sith-spawned disaster.' _He pushed the cream comforter away from the rest of his body and stood up stiffly - some rarely used muscles protested at the usage he'd subjected them to.

The grey dawn caught his attention and he moved to stare out the window, completely unconcerned of his nakedness and unaware of the suddenly awake green glitter of eyes framed in red-gold lashes now trained on his naked figure.

Mara felt the emotions coming screaming out of Luke, in fact that was what had awoken her. She'd just experienced the best sex she'd ever had in her life with the Jedi Master. '_No_' her conscience told her. She wasn't sure what it had been on Luke's side but on hers it had been far more than mere sex - Mara had made love. Her heart, mind and body had all been involved in the act. She just hadn't been aware how close her bond to Luke was – how attuned she was to every nuance of feeling between them. Last night had been a revelation. This morning she had awoken to his confused and chaotic thoughts. Where did this leave them?

Her eyes traced the powerful muscles on his legs, over his taut buttocks and up over his tanned back. '_What had she done? What had she let him do? He wasn't ready for this step. Damn them both for thinking with their hormones – they weren't teenagers._'

Luke turned back to the bed, unsure of what his actions would be and met the cool green eyes of the woman he'd bedded so thoroughly or had it been the other way around? She lay there, clutching the cream sheet defensively to her breasts, looking at him with a completely impassive expression on her beautiful face, her glorious hair tumbled in disarray over the pillows and her shields locked up tight. But he didn't know if being together had brought them closer or driven them further apart. He could still sense her disquiet, or was it an echo of his own? Friends didn't sleep together – in every situation he'd heard of when the affair faded the friendship did too. He needed Mara too much in his life and he didn't want to hear her regrets over what had been the most perfect night of his entire life.

He walked over to the bed and stood next to her, his blue eyes dark and sorrowful. "I'll understand if you don't want to see me for a while. But please don't reject our friendship… I'm sorry." He grabbed at a pile of clothes lying on a chair and disappeared into the refresher, leaving Mara stupefied. She heard the muted sounds of water running and she imagined Luke slumped against the side of the shower stall, his back against the tiles, the water running over his strong body... She shifted a little uncomfortably as remembered heat flooded through her. He was _sorry_. Luke was regretting this beautiful experience and he was apologising. A little flame of anger ignited in the heart of Mara Jade and started to grow. Being in his arms last night had confirmed one thing to Mara, something she'd already known in her heart but had doubted in her mind. Luke Skywalker was _not_ in love with Callista, but there wasn't anything to say that he was in love with Mara either. She was just possibly the welcome body he'd used for his relief. Mara knew that she was in love with Luke - the one thing she'd never wanted. But it had happened anyway and now that it had… Mara knew that she hadn't had a chance of avoiding it. It was her destiny. The only problem with destiny was – you didn't always like the way things turned out.

"Mara," Luke stood at the bedroom door. "I'll leave you alone now and I'm sorry. I really am."

And before Mara could formulate a sentence angry or otherwise she heard the hiss of his apartment door as it slid shut leaving her naked and alone in his bed.

"Skywalker!"

But it was too late. Luke had gone.


	8. Part 8

Disclaimer – Lucasfilm owns the characters and situations and I am just playing with them for a short while.

**Part 8**

**Grand Corridor – ****Imperial********Palace******

The Grand Corridor was quiet at this time of the morning; the high ceiling and cut glass windows gave it grandeur and dignity. _'Curious'_, Callista thought absently. '_To have such beauty come from such a man,'_ when the designer had been none other than Palpatine himself_ 'Of course the same could be said about Darth Vader and the man who was his only son. Luke had come from Vader - the lightness from the dark and he had firmly believed in his father's repentance and redemption at the end of his life.' _ Once I strove to serve the light and I still do, but I can only touch the dark…

Suddenly Callista sat up. Darth Vader's son was walking briskly through the corridor, his cloak flying behind him and his face white and set.

"Luke!" she called, a smile creasing her face, but he never acknowledged her call and continued towards the exit. "Luke!" she tried again, but the Jedi Master was in a world of his own and obviously didn't hear her.

She tucked her long braid behind her and slumped down into the chair. She hadn't seen Luke for very long yesterday and he'd been uncharacteristically impatient with her. She could have sworn he was eager to be out of her presence. '_I wonder where he was running to?'_ Callista poked at a mosaic pattern on the floor with her toe. Without the Force it was difficult to gauge how anyone was feeling, but he'd seemed upset. If she'd still had the Force he would have felt her presence and she would have known what was wrong with him.

Turning her attention once more to the architectural wonders of the Grand Corridor Callista couldn't help but feel that something was missing. "Trees," she whispered, a hazy memory from long ago flitting into her brain - long before this lifetime. "There used to be trees here – greenish purple trees, which changed colour. I wonder what happened to them." She made her way across to where a lone guard stood on duty.

"Excuse me, what happened to the trees?"

"Trees, Ma'am?"

"There used to be trees here, lining the grand corridor. What happened to them? They were very beautiful."

He scratched his chin for a moment before producing a data pad and a couple of disks. "Just let me check, there's historical information about the grand corridor on these." He looked a little surprised. "Well, you learn something every day. There haven't been any trees here, for at least ten years. They were removed because they were spies."

"Spies!" Callista almost laughed. "How could trees be spies?"

"The Emperor, Ma'am, knew that the trees reacted to sound. He had some sort of gadget fixed deep down in their root system. It let the Empire record any conversation taking place in the Grand Corridor. Ingenious, if I may say so."

Callista blinked. Truly the Emperor had been a brilliant man – twisted but brilliant. "Yes."

The guard looked down at Callista's waist and noticed the lightsaber hanging at her belt. "Are you a Jedi, Ma'am?"

Callista dropped her grey eyes for a moment before answering reluctantly. "I was." Again she felt the pain of her loss. It would always be with her, the knowledge of what she had lost and she could see no way to regain her powers for the light. Eight long, wasted years…

"You'll know the Jedi Master, then." He smiled.

"I used to."

"If he's on Coruscant we see him quite a lot. He's always running between the exercise halls, the senate buildings and his sister's office. He's often with the red headed Jedi. They're usually together if he's here. Do you know her?"

"I've met her once or twice." Callista was deliberately non-committal, "but I don't know her well."

She turned away from the guard with a final word of thanks only to stop as she saw Mara Jade run through the small groups of people dotted throughout the corridor. She had the same expression on her face that Luke had worn and she was heading in the same direction. Why that filled her with unease, Callista had her suspicions, but she didn't want to entertain them – not yet. _'They're usually together,'_ the guard's innocent comment echoed ominously over and over in her head.

Leia felt her brother's confusion and distress, even though he was battening down his shields. Whenever Luke had an emotional problem, _that_ was the way he dealt with it, by keeping it to himself. In fact, he had been shielding his emotions ever since Callista had arrived on Coruscant and Leia wanted him to stop. She could have dealt with it herself, but since Han had proved himself so successful at dealing with her brother he would go. Leia knew her brother too well. Luke wanted to stop her worrying about him as he considered she had enough to deal with – her family and her work for the New Republic. _'Well, Luke, I worry about you whether you want me to or not. Let's hope Han can get you to open up a bit more. The other night wasn't too bad, but there's more there yet.' _

An anaesthetised Luke made his way to the Solo private hangar bay which he knew was deserted at this hour. He needed to be by himself before he let the full impact of his actions hit home. The _Millennium Falcon_ sat peacefully waiting for its next jaunt out into the unknown and next to it, his own transport. Luke keyed open the entrance hatch to the Jedi Academy's pedestrian shuttle he'd used for the trip to Coruscant and in a fit of frustration and unhappiness at the way his life could twist and turn, Luke viciously attacked the hyperdrive system. It had needed an overhaul anyway and now it definitely needed one. He yanked viciously at a group of innocent wires.

"Way to go, Luke. You've probably ruined one of the best friendships you ever had," he muttered bitterly. He liked Mara - he really liked Mara - and she'd made him feel things he hadn't felt for a very long time, if ever. He closed his eyes at a stray memory of the sun on her hair and how she'd melted into his arms perfectly.

Then there was Callista. "I've told her the truth," he said to himself. "I don't love her any more and that feeling's not coming back."

Something sparked amongst the shuttle's hyperdrive components. It definitely wasn't going anywhere now.

Han approached the docking bay carefully. Luke had been seen heading in this direction, but hadn't requested clearance for lift off. So that meant that he was still on the ground. The sounds of a ship being torn to pieces did not escape the Corellian. Leia was right, as usual, where her brother was concerned. Something had upset the Jedi Master. He whistled a popular tune to advertise his approach, although it was a sure bet that Luke would sense him coming. Still, he knew it wasn't wise to creep up on an angry and possibly saber-happy man. But Han would give quite a lot to see his brother-in-law lose some of that damned Jedi calm. It just wasn't natural for someone to be so reserved all the time.

"Hey, kid," he called out cautiously. "You in there?"

The banging stopped suddenly and a tousled head peered out from inside the shuttle. "Hi, Han. I suppose Leia sent you?"

"You guessed it, kid."

"Well I'm fine."

"No you are not." Han regarded Luke with a critical eye. "She felt your distress and it was all I could do to stop her from haring over here herself. I told her to give you a little time to cool off."

Luke snorted and disappeared back inside the ship.

Wondering if was taking his life into his hands, Han climbed the entrance ramp and stared in shock at the mess his brother-in-law had managed to create single-handedly. "You're not…" he coughed," going anywhere in this anytime soon?"

Luke ignored him and continued to pull at wires and electrical components.

"What is it, kid?" The hazel eyes were wise as they looked at the younger man. "You can tell me or I can resort to the threats your sister was spouting earlier. I thought I would be the gentler option."

Luke almost smiled, but it never came to fruition.

"If I recall correctly, it either involved zenji needles under the fingernails or an evening spent in the company of Councillor Borsk Fey'lya."

"I'll take the zenji needles." Luke's voice was dry. "I have to face the latter option at a reception this evening. The needles are less painful."

The sense of humour was still there - very dark, but still there. Han looked at his long time friend. His face was white and streaked with oil and dust and he could have sworn there was grief shadowing the famous blue eyes. "Come on, Kid." Han patted him on the shoulder as he crouched down beside him. "Is it Callista?"

"Yes and no." Luke's answer was terse.

"Okay," Han nodded his head thoughtfully. "That tells me quite a bit. We sorted out the other day that you didn't love her and you told her so. You still think that way?"

Luke nodded.

"She'll accept it in time."

"She's without the Force because of me."

"No, Luke," Han chided sharply. "She did that herself. You didn't force her to exchange places with Cray. You thought she was dead and you'd accepted that was how it was going to be. You didn't take your weapon and coerce her at sabre point. She made the decision, not you."

"But she waited for me." Luke burst out.

"No, Luke, she did not. She went away and left you."

"It's not really Callie…"

"So it's Mara Jade then." Han sounded definite. It had to be – only the beautiful trader managed to get Luke to lose his equilibrium this regularly. In fact, Han considered that she'd perfected keeping Luke off balance into an art form.

Luke dropped his gaze to the metal floor of the shuttle and said nothing.

Han knew he'd hit the nail on the head with the vibrohammer. "So it's Mara." He kept the tone of his voice light. "What happened this time? You two have a fight?" Han knew there was nothing extraordinary about that occurrence.

"No."

"You've been putting her under too much pressure about her Jedi training?"

"No."

So what is it?" Han was getting exasperated now. "You didn't have a fight?"

"Yes."

"You did?"

"No."

"Help me out here, buddy? So what did you have?"

Luke went red then white and mumbled something.

Han bent closer. "What was that?" It had sounded like… "Mara… I had… Mara."

Luke lifted his head, blue eyes blazing as he repeated softly, "I had… Mara, that's what happened. I had Mara Jade in my bed last night."

Han could have cheered. Finally the kid was seeing sense. "About time…uh…" Then one incontrovertible fact stole into the Corellian's brain. Luke wasn't cheering. "Uh… Luke…"

"Mara's my friend and I feel I've betrayed her," he burst out. "Friends don't sleep with one another."

"You only sleep with your enemies?"

"I haven't a good record with relationships. I want to keep Mara in my life. I don't want to lose her as I did all the others."

"Well you _do_ have Callista back… whether you want her or not." Han grimaced; that was possibly the wrong thing to say.

"I DON'T WANT Callista," he yelled. "I want Mara…"

There was a stunned silence.

"I can't lose her and yet…"

"It wasn't successful?" Han stammered to an embarrassed halt. By every hair on Chewie's body, why did he always end up having _that_ talk with Luke? Leia wiggled out of it every time. There had to be something in this hokey religion. It must be a Jedi thing – avoid discussing your brother's sex life with him and let your husband do it instead. Well, when it became time for Jacen and Jaina… Leia or Threepio were going to explain the facts of life. He had overpaid his dues in that respect.

"Eh?"

"You and Mara, in… together…? It was a disaster and you couldn't… you know… Ah, hell! You couldn't get it… up?"

Luke kept his eyes firmly focused on the floor, self-conscious colour staining his cheekbones. "No, it wasn't a disaster – quite the opposite. In fact it was amazing – the best…" he stammered then continued softly. "…I've ever…, but it can't happen again. How could I train her knowing we were cursed? Look at what I've done to Callie, Han. I couldn't do that to Mara. So I tried to salvage our friendship. I apologised for my actions and…"

"You did _what_?" Han spoke slowly but the disbelief was evident in every single word. "You idiot!" He got to his feet and paced along the narrow corridor. "You never apologise to a woman after an… encounter. Not even if it was unsatisfactory."

Luke glanced up, a protest on his lips.

"Yeah, yeah… I know… it was sex like you've never had before."

Luke blushed. "It was more than that, Han." He fidgeted uncomfortably. "I'm not too good at talking about personal stuff."

"It must have been good. You are alive and you aren't missing anything as far as I can see. All your attributes intact?"

"Han!"

"Mara Jade does not do things she doesn't want to." He poked his finger into Luke's chest. "Remember that."

"But I've ruined everything between us."

"You just might have, especially since you said you were sorry that you'd just had asteroid-splitting sex. I knew you could be naïve at times, but this is ridiculous." Han leisurely crossed his arms over his chest and observed Luke thoughtfully. "OK, Kid, think about it. What does Mara do if she's been insulted, annoyed or upset?"

Luke frowned. "She leaves."

"I told you, Luke. Mara is a free woman. She came to see you and made love with you. This is not typical behaviour."

"I saw her in a vision and she was in pain. Do you think I've caused that pain?"

"I don't know, Luke. I don't have Force ability. I can't read emotions like you and Leia can. I just call things as I see them. You and Mara…" He shook his head. "There have always been strong feelings between you, even before Callista came on the scene. Neither of you are the type to simply jump into bed on a whim. So for both of you, it must have meant something. Was the vision past, present or future?"

"I don't know. Yoda always said, that 'the future was always in motion,' but that never helped me much. I saw Mara standing alone in the middle of the Grand Corridor and she was the only thing I could see clearly – the only thing that was real. Everything and everyone else was formless, blurred shapes."

"She's important to you, Luke. That's nothing new."

"It was all vague, but an air of sadness hung over her and I wanted to help her."

"I'm not a Jedi, Luke. You're on your own with this one. Everyone carries pain with them; it just depends how often and how much you let it show. Mara has a lot of emotional baggage, but she keeps it to herself. She's a very private person and doesn't give her trust or her friendship lightly. How could _you_ cause her pain? I don't know." He stared down at the younger man. _'I don't know but I have my suspicions.'_

"Han the psychologist," Luke murmured softly.

"Leia's better at this stuff than I am. She might be able to give you some perspective on what Mara is thinking and feeling, although I doubt any one is fully capable of that task."

Luke closed his eyes and gave a pained chuckle. "You could be right."

"Hell, this is Mara and you… I rest my case."

"We are one set of confused people. I don't have anything to offer a woman like Mara."

Han shook his head again. Luke was a great guy, but sometimes his sense of worth was poor and deep down he believed that no one could truly care for him in the way a woman would for her bonded mate. Then there was also his dangerous lifestyle – He knew Luke was wary of subjecting any woman to the stress of such a hazardous existence. He'd resigned himself to being alone for the rest of his life. Han knew Leia didn't want that to happen. _Stang_, he didn't want to see that happen to the kid either.

"You need to think on the reason why Mara made love with _you_ and why it's so important that she stays in your life. Do you want her as a pal or do you want more? She's quite a girl if you're up to her."

"I want her in my life."

"Yeah, kid, but how?"

"I don't know. I just need to know she's there." Luke picked up a hydrospanner and fiddled in an absent-minded fashion. All of a sudden he looked up at Han, as if a bright light had unexpectedly illuminated his brain. "By apologising to Mara, despite everything that happened between us, I'm rejecting her?"

"Hallelujah!" Han muttered. "I think so. Women need words, Luke. Whether they are princesses, Jedi warriors, master traders or former Imperial assassins. They need to know what you feel. Then there is the line of thought that your apology might say to Mara that you used her as a Callista substitute."

"But if I'd wanted Callie I could have had her!" Luke's eyes went wide as he heard his mouth spout off something he wouldn't even have said in his cocky fighter pilot days. "Oh sithspawn!"

Han's eyes gleamed with humour, but he was careful not to let Luke see that.

"It's not true," he muttered. "I would never use Mara like that." He was vehement in his own defence.

"Then why apologise? She may think that the sex between you was sub-standard."

"It wasn't… it wasn't."

"Then you have to talk to her."

"I've really screwed up."

The Corellian opened his mouth to agree, then thought better of it. "Uh…"

"Haven't I?"

"You've made brighter and better decisions in your life, kid. Go talk to Mara, explain how you feel – don't shut her out. If she's still on the planet you're going to have to apologise again."

"I can be so dense, Han."

The Corellian smiled sympathetically. "Do you remember the good old days?"

"Which ones were they?" Luke gave a small, tired grin.

"When Leia and I had hardly a civil word to say to each other."

"Oh… those days. Yeah." He shrugged. "I remember."

"Most folks could see how we felt about each other, including you."

"Once I got over the major crush – which was just as well, _relatively_ speaking. Yeah, I knew."

"The point is… It's easy looking in from the outside. Where you are, in the thick of the fight… you can lose your view on things. You need to get the scopes lined up properly, kid."

Luke nodded. "I can't face her just yet. I think I should give her time to cool down."

"If she's on the planet."

Luke stared in the distance, a faint smile crossing his dirty face. "She's still here - I can feel her."

Han chuckled softly and began to relax. "Hey, kid. I've got to get a couple of tools from the_ Falcon_ and then I'll help you fix this mess, okay?"

"Thanks, Han."

"Don't mention it."

Leaving Luke to start on repairs, Han slipped into his own ship and called his wife. "Look sweetheart, I can't talk properly now. Suffice to say, your brother could do with lessons in etiquette and protocol and make sure Mara Jade is denied permission to leave Coruscant."

"What are you up to?"

"I want to bang a couple of Jedi heads together."

"Any ones in particular?" She asked archly.

"One blond one and one red one."

"Ah!"

"Thought you'd understand. I'm surprised you even had to ask, Your Highnessness. Reminds me of a certain other couple when they were courting."

"We were never that bad, Nerfherder," Leia retorted, but her voice sounded affectionate.

"Luke needs to talk to Mara, bigtime, and maybe to Callista too. The redhead is the more urgent just now."

"Well, she is the more volatile of the two. I'll make sure Mara can't leave. In fact, I'll send her an invitation for tonight's reception - if you can find her and convince her to be there."

"I'm on it. See you later, sweetheart." Han grinned; he wasn't meddling – not really. Mara and Luke were so much alike it was truly frightening. What was the first thing Luke had done after his morning debacle? He'd run to his ship and started tearing her to pieces. What was the bet that Mara Jade hadn't gone and done exactly the same thing? He picked up the trusty repair kit he'd used ever since he'd been flying. He just added to it now and again. A sneaky expression crossed his face and he chuckled quietly, removing a couple of items.

He wandered back into the boxy Academy shuttle and surveyed the repair work the Jedi Master was now doing. Han watched for a few moments, marvelling again at how he'd forgotten how skilled Luke was with his hands.

"You know something, kid?" He peered into the battered box. "I've got this tool at home which would be ideal for some of the close work you're doing here and would really sort some of this mess out."

"Why don't you have it on the _Falcon_?"

Han hung his head, but not before Luke could see his hazel eyes twinkling with suppressed mirth. "I'm a failure as a father," he announced dramatically.

Luke frowned. "Now, Han…"

"That niece and nephew of yours managed to slip off most of Threepio's chest plate and tweaked a few of his internal circuits. "For two days he went round saying, 'I am Cfourpio, fluent in six forms of communication.' I tried to have a go; in the end I had to take him to the techs working with the Rogues."

Luke laughed. "Bright and sneaky rascals. In trouble were they?"

"Oh yes, their mother had them quaking."

"I can just see it."

"Yup."

"And you couldn't hide from them the fact that _you_ thought it was funny."

"I did think it was funny until Leia made me try and undo the mischief the twins had done."

Luke smiled. "She would."

Han shrugged. "Threepio gets on my nerves occasionally."

"Occasionally!" Luke hooted.

Han gave him a dirty look. "I won't be long. I'll just nip back to the apartment and get it." He wiped his hands on a grimy rag he found, streaking them with engine lubricant, before stuffing it in his pocket. "We can't stay here too long. You have the Bothan to be nice to and if you're late for that it won't matter what you say to Mara because Leia will kill us both first."

"Thanks," he muttered. "You really know how to kick a guy when he's down."

"I won't be long," Han repeated and left before Luke sensed that he was up to no good… Just as well the kid was totally preoccupied with the problems he'd caused to his ship and those between him and Mara or he might have sussed the Corellian out long ago. "Not true," he said to himself. "This could be very good if I can get it to work."


	9. Part 9

**Watching, Waiting and Hoping – part 9**

**by**** Ash**

**Disclaimer; Lucasfilm owns the characters and situations used in this little tale. I'm not even bartering for a part for my ship over this. Please enjoy.**

Han approached the docking bay where Mara's ship sat. The _Jade's Fire_ sure was one impressive piece of machinery. "Ah ha!" he laughed quietly. "She's here."

It was the music that hit his eardrums first - the steady pounding of a repeating bass line, heavy and menacing. Followed by the entire arsenal of the Imperial Navy employed in a percussive capacity. If there was a melody he was hard pressed to name it. The music was very loud, sith angry and discordant.

"What the ear bustin' hell is she listening to?" Han wondered aloud.

"Mara!" he yelled as he hammered on the ship's hull. "Mara!"

Unsurprisingly there was no answer, but the hatch was down. Han quailed at the thought of entering, but he done many foolhardy deeds in his time. He couldn't help but wonder if this could be his crowning moment. "Luke will owe me big on this if it works."

Covering his ears he made his way into Mara's precious ship. "Mara!" Making his way to where the noise was loudest, Han found Mara on her hands and knees apparently rubbing away the insides of the ship with a cloth and a bucket of cleaning solution. She was absolutely filthy; the dirty streaks worked their way over her face and smudged their way down her soiled and crumpled ship suit. Still her eyes shone true and green as they pinned him in place.

She mouthed something at him, inaudible in the cacophony she was broadcasting through her internal sound system. Or should that be _infernal_ sound system, he thought with a shudder as the din battered into his head.

Han pointed to his ears and mimed incomprehension. Mara snarled something at him and then stomped through the passageway. When the sound cut out, Han closed his eyes in bliss, opening them only to find a very irritable-looking trader wielding a bucket and a cloth in a threatening manner. It could have been worse, he told himself. It could have been her lightsaber. But she didn't look too surprised to see him there.

"What in the name of the New Republic are you doing here?"

"Can't a friend come for a visit and get a tour of your ship?"

A hastily quashed smile flickered across her face and her eyes again grew dark and stormy. "Can it, Solo. That's the most pathetic excuse I have ever heard. Why are you here, or what are you here for? If it's on behalf of that wampa-brained sand borer I will throw you out and believe me I can do it too."

"I believe you." Han said, hastily putting up his hands in appeasement. Where was a seven-foot walking carpet when you needed him? He held Mara's green gaze until it fell. "What wampa-brained sand borer?"

She turned her back on him for a second, before spinning to face him again. "Well?" She picked up the metal bucket and waved it in front of him. "I have a lot of cleaning to do and unless you plan to stay and help me, say what you have to and then go."

Han stifled a grin. Hostile wasn't the half of it. "You cleaning by hand? Haven't you got a perfectly good top of the range droid for that?"

"I wanted to do it myself." Her face began to scowl ominously. "Unless…" her voice drawled slowly. "You're here to help." Mara rattled the pail in his face.

"Uh… I have to get back."

Mara tossed her heavy red-gold plait over her shoulder and sank to her knees, rubbing furiously at some non-existent mark on the spotless bulkhead. ""So…" She said conversationally. "You gonna tell me why you're here?"

"Uh… I have a request from Leia."

She swung round and glared at him. "From Leia? You sure about this? This has nothing to do with…?" Mara clamped her mouth over whatever else she meant to say.

Han hoped her Jedi senses were as distracted as Luke's had been. "Nothing to do with what?"

Mara opened her mouth and then paused, her eyes nervous. She'd just been about to tell Han everything. Force knows she could do with the advice. But the habit of a lifetime kept the words from spilling out of her lips. Mara Jade normally kept her own counsel.

"Mara… You okay?"

"It's nothing, Solo."

Han didn't pursue it, as he didn't want Mara to guess how much he did know about her troubles. He had an inkling she wouldn't be too happy about Luke's revelations. He cleared his throat. "There's a reception tonight…" He held up his hands and rushed on. "I know this is short notice, but Leia got Winter to check the guest list and Karrde wasn't on it. We always invite Karrde to these do's.

"He's away on business, mid rim or further out I think." Mara returned to aimlessly polishing the bulkhead.

"So she discovered when she tried to contact him. He suggested you go in his place."

"Me?"

"Yeah, you usually do that kinda thing for Karrde, don't you?"

"Well, yes, but…"

"It would look odd if there was no one there from Karrde's organisation. I think even Booster's going."

"What's the reception for?"

"Darned if I know. I have to be there in my formal clothes. I'm keeping my mouth shut since my beautiful wife might have suggested I wear my dress uniform and I hate that."

Mara gave an unwilling smile. "I just turn up?"

"That's what Leia said. Your name will be on the guest list. Anyway… I need people I can talk to. There are some very dry types attending."

"Ah, like the Jedi Master. He can be rather like that," her voice was bitter.

"Luke's not like that - he'll be glad to see you. This entire Callista thing is getting him down. He's not said anything to you about it?"

Mara dipped her cloth into the bucket with a loud splash and slopped water over the offending, still spotless, bulkhead. "No," she lied.

"Oh, well, it'll give him a chance later on then. He was moaning about having to attend."

"Whining was he?" She cracked a mirthless smile.

"Hey, you two are good friends. Just stop him from doing something stupid."

"I think it's too late for that."

"Mara, he doesn't want Callista, but he doesn't know how to brutally tell her it's all over. Callie still thinks there is a chance. That's what she told Leia."

The trader sat back on her heels and stared carefully up at Han. "She said that? Figures. Luke can be too soft and trusting for his own good. But she hasn't – he doesn't love her."

The Corellian gave Mara an assessing once over. "You know, I've got an idea."

"You have? Why don't I like the sound of that?"

"It's your suspicious mind."

"Okay, Solo, I'm listening."

"Well…"

Han wandered back to Luke's ship, first collecting the discarded tools from the _Falcon. _When the idea had hit him he never thought that she'd actually agree to it and he still wasn't too sure that she would. Fun and games tonight after all… and he thought that the evening was going to be dull. Chuckling to himself, he ducked through the shuttle's hatch.

"Hey, kid!" he shouted cheerfully. "You managed to sort that mess or do you still need my expert help?"

Luke lifted his head and made a face at Han. "I wondered if you were coming back at all."

"Don't I always?"

"Eventually… try nearly a year and a block of carbonite later."

"You've gotten awfully brave for a kid from a dustball planet. It's those delusions of grandeur again, ain't it?"

"Funny, Solo… funny. Now are you gonna stand there all day talking or are you gonna help me?"

"I'm helping… I'm helping… see?"

**State Ballroom, ****Imperial********Palace**

****

Leia stood watching the assembled glitterati of the New Republic and their hangers on enjoy themselves - some of them at any rate. Where was her family tonight? They weren't usually this late. Normally Han and Luke had been warned within inches of their lives to be prompt and to be smart. She knew what Han was wearing; she'd picked it out for him herself. Her brother… Force knows. Luke could turn up in anything depending on his mood and whatever he'd been doing seconds before the appointed arrival time. She smoothed an imaginary wrinkle from her white silk, gem-studded evening gown. '_Hurry up, Han,' _she thought anxiously.

A rustle behind the velvet drapes made her clutch at the handle of her concealed lightsaber, but she recognised the identity of the intruder and relaxed.

"Han, you big nerf" she whispered. "What are you doing behind the curtains?"

He gave his trademark lop-sided grin and kissed her hastily on the cheek as he slid from a gap in the russet material. "I didn't want to advertise that the husband of Councillor Organa Solo was rather tardy in his arrival and used the back door. I have been intriguing with all the skills of a Bothan all day – it's a wonder I'm not later."

Leia gave a wry smile. "I knew you had it in you - I just wonder why I'm surprised, flyboy." She brushed a speck of fluff off his immaculate black jacket.

Han suffered her ministrations, knowing that it was such a wifely thing to do coming from one of the most powerful women in the galaxy. "Are they all here?"

"Who are you expecting?"

"Callista, Luke and Mara."

Leia turned her head to glance at him from the corner of her dark eyes. "You're expecting them… together?"

"'Course not." He huffed a little. "I've just spent an hour trying to persuade Luke into something with a bit of class."

"Why don't I like the sound of that," she quipped lightly.

"Hey, it's me!"

"Exactly," his wife murmured dryly. "I pick out your clothes just because of that reason."

"And… I spent at least an hour with the lovely trader Jade trying to persuade her to attend."

"Will she be here?"

"I think so."

The master of ceremonies announced a couple of semi-important dignitaries and Leia stepped forward, the personification of graciousness, to greet them. When she stepped back she murmured carefully in his ear. "Callista arrived half an hour ago. I think she's beginning to look a little impatient."

Han discreetly searched the chattering throng and located the former Jedi tall and dignified in a pale grey gown, the malt-coloured hair piled elegantly on top of her head. She stood a little to the side of a group where Han recognised some of the Rogues and their wives. '_Good_,' he thought. '_She has company_.'

"Leia… uh… about…"

The spousal radar was on full alert as Han muttered his wife's name. "What have you done?"

"I…" he mumbled. "Oh, here's Luke." Han thought it prudent to change the subject.

"Luke!" Leia embraced her brother before pulling away and studying his features carefully.

"I'm fine," he said, smiling.

"No, you're not. You're covering something."

"I'm okay, honest." He stepped back and examined the picture his sister made and gave a little whistle. "Where did you get this woman, Han? I swear there isn't a lovelier one at the party. If she wasn't my sister and wasn't married, I'd steal her from you."

Han laughed at the flush on his wife's face. "She is rather on the dazzling side, but then she would have to be."

"Have to be?" Luke questioned.

"To be with a gorgeous guy like me, of course."

"Does his head always swell to this size?"

"He's a Corellian," Leia remarked dryly. "It's in the genes. But I would say you were very handsome this evening yourself, brother dear."

Luke had discarded his trademark Jedi black for a suit of midnight blue. It was still soberly cut, but the hint of colour made his eyes seem even bluer than usual.

"I raided his closet," remarked Han with satisfaction. "If I had to appear like this, so had he. Male solidarity is not a thing of the past."

"You both look very nice."

"Nice!" Luke tried to seem offended at his sister's comment delivered with just the right amount of lofty condescension.

"You're both very smart and I'm proud…" Leia's voice stopped as another intruded.

"Luke, I've wondered where you were today? I haven't seen you at all."

All at once Leia noticed the energy drifting away from her brother as Callista appeared. He was definitely not all right. He shifted his feet a little from side to side and would not meet Callista's large grey eyes. Leia gave Han a quizzical glance but he was watching Luke and Callista, his expression unreadable.

"Callie…" Luke's voice trailed off a little awkwardly.

"I thought we might have come together, Luke."

"Why?"

"Because…" Callista floundered a little before mentally stiffening her backbone and saying quietly. "It would have been nice to come with a friend."

Feeling guilty, Luke took her arm and gently drew her away from Han and Leia, watched by approving eyes from around the ballroom, as they strolled together. "Look, Callie…" He sighed before continuing quietly, "They know how I feel. I don't love you. You don't have to put on an act. I can't any more. I'm fond of you and I'll always remember the good times we had. I don't want to be harsh because I'd like to still be able to call you my friend but you walked away from me and any good, or bad times that were coming to us."

"You don't know that for sure." She spoke in an undertone. "You're still punishing me for the time we spent apart."

"It's not like that at all…" He broke off impatiently, his voice low. "Look, this is not the time or place to discuss these matters."

Suddenly there was a ripple of something in the Force coupled to a frisson of excitement running through the room. Luke could instantly feel the charged energy race through him.

The master of ceremonies seemed to raise the volume of his announcement, but Luke knew it was more than that. The whole atmosphere was brighter, more electric, more real and everything else faded into insignificance beside it. All the lights on Coruscant faded in comparison to the woman framed in the doorway.

'Mara Jade'

She walked - no, Luke decided - she stalked into the room, her head held high. Every male and most of the female eyes were upon her, but she walked as if she was unaware of the interest. His eyes sought her - he was drawn to her – like to like. Callista ignored, Luke moved closer to the source of his new found torment. His eyes traced every scrap of the clinging green silk which lovingly moulded itself to her very female contours, creamy shoulders, back and neck left bare apart from a gold necklace with a fiery emerald gem at its core which hugged the valley between her breasts. A memory flashed into his mind of how she had felt under his hands, the tips of her breasts hardening proudly, of stroking down over rounded hips, her mouth softly seductive under his own. Luke willed, no, he begged, his suddenly vulnerable body to behave.

Mara held her head up as she walked into the ballroom. What had persuaded her to act like this? Not 'what' she thought, but who. Then she felt _his_ gaze upon her as she moved gracefully towards a momentarily gaping Leia and a grinning Solo. It wouldn't be the first time she had walked into a room and set tongues wagging. Han had told her to show the Jedi Master exactly the kind of thing he might be missing. Mara lifted her head proudly and showed every man in the room precisely that. She was a temptress in dark blue-green silk topped by a crown of bright copper but all of it was only for one man. She'd pinpointed his location as soon as she'd walked into the room. He stood a little way off, with Callista just behind him.

His gaze zeroed in on her, intense and hungry. Blue flames met brilliant, sparkling green and the rest of the universe vanished. Mara felt as if she was naked in front of Luke once more and a wave of heat travelled swiftly through her.

Leia felt the flash of feeling from her brother and a similar reaction from Mara, before their barriers went swiftly up. Han stood smugly beside her and Leia knew that part of this was his doing.

"I just told you to get her here, nerfherder. What did you tell her to do?" Leia whispered. "Whatever you said to her, she looks fabulous and Luke… Luke - he looks as if he's been trampled over by a couple of dewbacks."

"I said Luke needed help and she could cheer him up" He rightly guessed that Leia wouldn't need any more information than that for the moment. "They do need to talk."

"Another argument?" Leia murmured quietly as she watched the crowd part automatically to let Mara approach her.

Han nodded, but turned to face Mara and winked. "Not bad, Jade… not bad at all."

"Can it, Solo."

Leia could see Mara had made an extra effort for this evening. The sophisticated court dress, outlining in graphic detail her spectacular figure, the emerald pendant around her neck and her burnished red-gold curls caught up in an intricate arrangement of loops, braids and curls. The effect was truly stunning and left Leia feeling a little old-fashioned.

"Good to see you, Mara," Leia spoke smoothly, but allowed an extra warmth to creep into her sense. "Han said you would help cheer up Luke and whatever he's done I'm sure he didn't mean it."

Mara turned a startled glance upon the Corellian, who winced and shook his head. He did not want Mara finding out that Luke had spilled the information faster than a prisoner in an Imperial detention centre. It was all going to come out now. Leia would not approve of all this meddling – although she had started some of it by asking Han to speak to her brother. "The argument you had with Luke," he clarified and saw the trader register the information and relax a little. Leia's words had been a little unfortunate.

"I don't know if he really needs help…" Mara hoped the usually astute Leia would not spot the rush of colour to her face. Luke had managed fine on his own – he'd tied her in knots, but he'd managed fine. She risked a glance in his direction and found that his eyes were still locked on her. Shakily she touched her tongue to her lips and the sexual tension between them could be grasped and wrung out. A memory of last night and Luke's strong arms holding her - just before he entered her waiting body flashed before her eyes and she saw that he'd seen it too.

Feeling the trembling in her limbs, Mara turned to Solo and muttered a pleasantry before almost running away to the opposite end of the room from where a frozen Luke still stood. She'd acknowledged Callista with only a single glance of her sharp green eyes.

"Luke…" Callista tugged at his sleeve impatiently.

"What!" He turned back to her, his eyes large in his pale face.

"What is there between you and Mara Jade?"

"I don't know," he whispered.

Callista frowned. He looked stunned as if he was seeing the other woman clearly for the first time ever. She remembered the stare outside the apartment block, the easy camaraderie in the exercise hall and now the long exchange of glances.

The tables were called for dinner and Luke let Callista lead him to the dining room, but all the time his mind was on the other side of the room with another woman – the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life and the one woman he'd ruined his relationship with. Han was right – he had to talk to Mara and apologise for his actions of last night and this morning. He had to try if she would let him. He hadn't expected her to be here but she was and he'd been granted another chance. Something in the Force told him he had to take it.

Callista had spent three weeks being the sole, if absent-minded focus of Luke Skywalker's attention, but since Mara Jade had arrived on Coruscant that focus had definitely shifted towards the red headed former Imperial.

'_She's a Jedi,_' Callista told herself. '_Luke's training her, that's all_.' But her words seemed hollow. She guessed there was more between them than that.

"Luke… what's going on?"

"Mara and I had a fight; we're always having them, but I said and did some stupid things."

Callista knew it wasn't Jedi-like behaviour but she was glad they'd fought. There had been something in the steadfast blue gaze on Mara that had been missing when he had looked at her. "Is it worth continuing to train her?"

"She is very powerful in the Force – incredibly so and that power is growing daily. It wasn't her fault that she is who she is; the Emperor twisted her mind so she thought she was serving the good side. Mara deserves the honour of being a Jedi and I don't know anyone who does more."

"Palpatine created a lot of suffering, some of which we are all still paying for. You're right -Mara should train." Callista focused on the meal being placed in front of her, before lifting her head and saying sharply, "She's that strong in the Force?"

"Oh yes. She's learned a lot over the years from the Emperor, from me and the other Jedi that are rising. She was unwilling to progress further when she found out the extent she had been lied to and betrayed by the person she trusted most in the world. She needs to know how to handle that power." He picked up his glass of red wine and took a large swallow.

"Luke, as the Jedi Master should you…?" She frowned almost imperceptibly at his glass.

"Leave it Callie. I'm also a man," he bit out. "I won't get drunk and embarrass the order."

Callista knit her brow. "I didn't mean that," she said calmly and continued to eat her meal, while Luke pushed his fork through his and ate very little.

"What are your plans for the future?" A gentleman asked the question on Callista's left hand side.

She paused and glanced at Luke for guidance but he was studiously ignoring them as he finished destroying the chef's artful creation.

"I'm not sure…"

"You'll be staying with the Jedi Master?"

Callista opened her mouth to say that she would be, but Luke answered first.

"No, there is nothing I can teach Callista about the Jedi." He gave a small smile. "I keep telling her she should be teaching me. In fact," he turned to her, "I keep meaning to ask you to contact Tionne; there must be a lot of techniques and procedures you learned long ago that we could use." He smiled easily at the man. "She has been doing a lot of research recently and has built up quite a store of knowledge. I would love for her to be able to work with our librarian on Yavin IV."

"I gave you the data cards containing my research."

"You gave me eight years worth of information. Which probably means you gave me thousands of years of Jedi history. It's too much for me to wade through on my own."

"Let me help you. I can stay here, by your side…"

"Excuse me." Luke stood up and indicated Callista should do the same.

She rose to her feet and unwillingly followed him to the anteroom.

"I wasn't sure if this was the right time to discuss this but I have been thinking a lot about you and all the research you have undertaken to recover your use of the Force. You could be a great help to the Jedi, Callista. You have eight years worth of data and personal knowledge you received. You could really aid someone like Tionne, who is trying to research Jedi history. So much of our heritage was lost and you are a link to the past. You were trained during the days of the Old Republic. You saw the rise of Palpatine and the downfall of my father. You must have been aware of the achievements and the errors of the order at that strange time in their history. I have made so many mistakes because I tried to build the order with little guidance. You can help me if you want to but you cannot achieve the Force through me."

"Luke…"

"No, Callista."

"You will change your mind."

"No," he sounded definite. "I will not." And he gave her an unsmiling nod, his eyes unreadable. "I'm not the perfect Jedi Master, Callie, and no amount of trying can turn me into him. Remember I can't try, I must do - so I '_do_' as I can. Please don't make me into something I'm not and never could be. We are over." He took her large strong hand in his and squeezed it gently before letting go and left her standing there.

Callista's eyes filled with tears that she blinked away as she tried to recover her poise. She had some thinking to do. Luke had changed so much and she'd only just realised it. She had thought he'd be the same as he'd been when she'd left and in many ways he still was the old Luke but there was a difference now. "I was wrong and now it's too late," she whispered. "If I had the same choice now – what would my decision be?" She sighed, her grey eyes pensive, because she didn't know what her conclusion would be.

Leia, who had been discreetly monitoring her brother through the Force felt his unease leak through his shields. She still tended to worry about him and he was still keeping much of his emotions locked up tighter than he usually did. She'd seen Luke and Callista leave the table and go towards the anteroom. _'I'll give them five minutes and then I'll go and interrupt.'_ Four minutes later Luke returned to the dining table without his companion, his face set. Leia decided she needed to see if her brother's former companion was all right.

"Callista… Everything okay?" Leia asked as she walked out of the banqueting hall towards the taller woman.

"He's so different tonight."

"I take it we're talking about Luke here?"

"He's the Jedi Master… Up until tonight I could still see him just as… Luke and I tried to make him the Jedi Master. But a moment ago, without effort and without my help, he became the Jedi Master."

Leia wrinkled her forehead. "So?"

Callista walked to the entrance and stared down part of the grand Corridor. "There used to be trees here."

Leia blinked at the abrupt change of subject. "I know, the Ch'hala trees. They were beautiful, but they had to go. Information was getting out and we couldn't work out why.

"I remember when they were planted. I'd been visiting the Jedi Temple with my master and they had just finished building the Grand Corridor. I'd never seen anything like it."

Leia's ears perked up. "You remember them being planted? That must have been forty or fifty years ago."

"A lifetime ago, before I went into the _Eye of Palpatine_. Before you and Luke were born."

"So many things have happened. Enough for several lifetimes."

There was an uncomfortable pause; both women stood not knowing what to say.

"I thought I was doing the right thing, Leia. I couldn't stay with Luke and be less than he was."

"I told you, he didn't see it that way."

"I'm not so sure."

"He didn't. Luke doesn't think that way."

"Perhaps not, but he has this instinctive need to protect and I didn't want to be protected. At that time that was the last thing I needed. My confidence had gone and I wasn't the same person I'd been. I had lost an intrinsic part of myself and then was told I'd have to be protected. The Jedi were the protectors of peace and justice in the galaxy. All I could think about was that I was a Jedi. I should have been the one providing protection – not needing it." Her thin shoulders shrugged.

Leia sighed softly. "The trees had to go - they were beautiful but destructive. I wouldn't like the same thing to happen to you. You can touch the Force through the dark side. How long would it be before you were tempted to use that power, especially if Luke doesn't return your love? Would you compel him to love you? We cannot always choose who we love."

"I know."

Leia caught Callista's grey gaze with her own dark brown one and tried to impress the seriousness of the situation. Callista was playing with Luke's life again and Leia's main concern was her brother's happiness. "You have some decisions to make, Callista. Make them wisely. I'll find it very hard to forgive you a second time."

She turned to go and then stopped. Even without the Force Callista sensed she was about to verbally dart her.

"Callista – did it ever occur to you that this is not your time? We are not of your generation and it is not your place to be at Luke's side?" Leia's voice was soft but it pierced her soul with all the directness of a laser. "Think about it."

Callista felt very much alone as she watched Leia return to her husband's side and slip a casual arm through his. Still, the other woman's words had struck home. Leia was right. Callista should not have been in this timeline. A great weariness settled on her shoulders… she'd thought of herself and not her life and task as a Jedi Knight when she'd exchanged places with Cray. She'd used the Force for selfish means and it had deserted her. She still would never turn to the dark side – it was not in her nature although the temptation was always with her - but it gave her something to fight against. Could she help the new generation of Jedi – Luke's Jedi? It would mean she was still part of what she'd worked so hard for. Could she bear it?

The dancing had begun. Callista could hear the strains of an ancient melody her grandparents had known on Chad III. She was tired of this never ending quest and what she desired most in all the galaxy, apart from the love of the Jedi Master, was to go home, where the seas of her native planet sparkled in the sun, teeming with the life she'd once felt so keenly through the awesome power of the Force. Her hands fingered the handle of her lightsaber, which she'd worn ever since Luke had returned it to her, and traced the carvings of the tsaelkes she'd spent so much time and care upon.

Callista stood and watched the various couples and caught sight of Luke standing with his eyes again fixed firmly on the elegant figure of Mara Jade. She was studiously ignoring him as she danced with a politician from a system Callista was unfamiliar with. Luke hovered on the dance floor as if he wanted to go and dance with the slim redheaded woman who twirled skilfully to the up-tempo beat. _'Yes,_' she thought, '_I have many things to reflect upon.'_ He hadn't once looked in her direction – not once, but remained intently focused on Mara.

Mara Jade felt his eyes on her as soon as the dancing began. She saw him hesitating on the edge of the dance floor, poised on the balls of his feet, as if ready to spring into action wielding his lightsaber. Luke wasn't known for his prowess on the dance floor, but Mara had seen him dance before and any one who could move like he did with a lightsaber in his hand was certainly capable of following simple steps. Good footwork mattered as much for fighting as it did for dancing.

Her earlier conversation with Han came back to her.

"You want me to…"

"Why not – would it be so hard? You're fond of the kid, ain't you?"

"Well… yes – but…"

"Get dressed up and knock them all dead. You got something that would do?"

"Of… of course," Mara stuttered. Han Solo never ceased to amaze her. He really took the ration bar.

"You can tell Luke your plans at the reception,"

"What plans?" Mara questioned worriedly.

"The plans to help him break away from Callista."

"He doesn't need my help to break away from Callista. He's a grown man…" Mara shuddered inwardly at exactly how much of a man Luke was.

Han gave a heavy sigh. "I saw him an hour ago and he was tearing apart his shuttle. He's not going anywhere in that for a while. It's not like him to be so affected by things. I wish he would let go a little more often, but when he does – I get worried. It's _that_ unusual."

"Tearing it apart?"

"Wires, electronics, circuits… you name it - all over the place. I told him it wasn't a big enough excuse to avoid going tonight. I know he never feels comfortable at these things. Does he think I do?" Han shook his head. "Go on… just do it," he wheedled.

"Do what?" Mara snapped irritably. "I'm not sure what you're asking me to do."

"Dazzle the kid."

"Dazzle… Luke?" She swallowed uncomfortably.

"Yeah. Make Callista see she's not the only female in the Jedi Master's life. It doesn't have to be real. You can tell Luke all about it and nobody's hurt."

"Just Callista."

"She'll be hurt more if this continues. She has to be made to see the truth. Go cheer up the Jedi Master. He's always happy in your company."

"You think?"

"You've not been fighting again?"

"Me? Fight with…"

"That 'wampa-brained sand borer'." Han tried to keep the smug expression from appearing on his face. He knew he'd just scored a direct hit with that comment.

Mara was unsure if Han knew too much or if he'd just made a lucky guess. He was surprisingly astute under the casual air and lazy laid-back manner. Mara gave herself a mental rebuke. Han Solo had been kicking round the edges of the galaxy long before he'd even hooked up with the rebellion and he'd survived in a lawless and hostile environment. Luke's homily on never underestimating anyone came back to her. Han Solo was a sharp as the claws on a colo fish She found herself nodding dumbly and watching him leave her ship, his hands tucked in his pockets and a jaunty whistle on his lips.

After that it had been a rush to finish her cleaning and hurry back to her apartment staring blankly at the contents of her wardrobe wondering which dress might 'dazzle' the Jedi Master.

Mara went through the dance steps automatically; she'd learned this one as a child, but couldn't remember who had taught her. Then the music slowed and she turned and caught Luke's gaze once more. Something flared in his eyes and he tensed. Mara whispered something in the ear of her partner, her eyes never leaving the steady blue gaze and watched with fascination as Luke's eyes darkened a little, then she turned to him fully and held out her arms.

Luke couldn't believe it. Mara had whispered something into the ear of the man she was dancing with and a quick stab of feeling had settled in his gut. Then she'd turned and held out her arms to him. His feet started to move as if summoned by a powerful magnet, his eyes never leaving the security of hers.

Mara tried to act as if she was flirting with him, but as soon as she stared into his vivid gaze, she knew she couldn't do it. Her feelings for Luke were too real and last night was too recent. She just wanted him to hold her.

"Mara," he whispered, his expression sincere and full of something resembling hope. "I'm so sorry…"

"Ssh, farmboy," she returned and placed his hands in hers and they began to move to the music.

It felt so right for her to be in his arms like this, so right and so wonderful. Luke began to see that he had been blind in very many ways. They danced in silence just listening to the romantic sweep of the melody until Luke could no longer bear the guilt he'd assumed for his actions.

"About last night, Mara…"

She stiffened. "I don't want to hear it."

"Please," he entreated desperately. "I'm an idiot, worse than a lumbering nerf."

"It's okay."

"No it's not. I apologised for what happened between us. I'm not sorry that…" He flushed. "You know… _It…_ happened. I'm not sorry at all. It was a special night – special and magical, perhaps because it was so unexpected and perhaps because I'd secretly been wanting it to happen for the longest time." His voice dropped to a low murmur. "It was especially wonderful because it was you. I'm only sorry because I didn't think you'd ever want to be like that… with me."

"Oh, Luke…" she replied, the pain that she'd felt, and was feeling still, uppermost in her mind. She curved closer into his arms and laid her bright head on his shoulder.

"I thought I had ruined our friendship and I couldn't bear that."

"Nor could I, nor could I."

"Have I?"

"What?"

"Have I ruined our friendship?"

"I hope not."

"You're not sure?"

"Luke…"

"Come on."

With a start Mara realised that the music had stopped and Luke was leading her towards the doors that led outside. She pulled a little against him, but he was grasping her arm tightly as he drew her towards the seclusion of the balcony.

"Luke…"

"We need to talk…"

She sighed. "Do we have to?"

"We have to clear this up."

"Luke…"

He smiled down at her. "You keep saying my name." His voice was a little awed.

"Well it _is_ your name." Mara returned matter of factly.

"What happened to Skywalker?"

A faint smile crossed her lips. "You tell me, farmboy – what _did_ happen to him?"

"I don't want my stupidity to distance me from you. I was wrong."

Mara sighed again and let herself be led away.

The balcony was deserted and the two Jedi wandered slowly to the carved railing and gazed at the lights of the city. Mara's mind transported her back to another balcony in another romantic setting, but she'd been alone there until Karrde had interrupted her troubled thoughts. Now she dreamily wandered hand in hand here with Luke, the faint strains of the orchestra's sweet sound a gentle reminder of the rest of the galaxy and all the problems that went with it.

Luke had always liked this part of the palace. It had been laid out like a garden with plants in pots and tubs, secluded lighting that gave it a mysterious air and there were benches for people to sit on. He gave the woman by his side a careful look. She didn't look mad at him any more; in fact she hadn't looked angry this morning. He hadn't given her the chance to say or do anything. He'd mumbled his stupid apology to her and rushed away leaving her alone in his bed. It was a wonder she hadn't carved him into bits with his father's lightsaber at the first opportunity. He deserved it. When they'd first met if he'd carried out a stunt like that she would have. Hell, she wouldn't have let him near enough to her in the first place so it wouldn't have mattered.

A faint breeze caught at the loose curls around Mara's face and she brushed them away with an impatient hand. Now that they were alone again they didn't know what to say to each other. The silence was companionable as they leaned on the balustrade and stared at each other.

"You look stunning," Luke whispered huskily. "I've always thought you beautiful, but I was wrong - you're more than that."

Mara took a shaky breath. How could he do this to her? She was the one that was supposed to be putting him off balance and it was working the other way around. His eyes darkened and he took a step nearer to her. It was a little much for Mara's composure. When he'd come into her arms on the dance floor, his warmth, nearness and presence in the force had curled around her with love and security. She'd felt it. Did he love her? Could he love her? For if he couldn't she would have to walk away. It was too late for her. She loved him heart and soul and no one else would do. Mara was incapable of treating him merely as a friend now. It had taken Callista's return to tell her that the happiness and irritation she felt whenever Skywalker was near, was something different from the usual. The comfort she felt in his company, the energy she gained and how flat and grey life seemed without him all added up to a lot more than mere liking.

She gazed into the hypnotic blue of his eyes and waited for him to speak. But he said nothing. _'What was he thinking?' _she wondered.

Luke felt as if he was caught in a spell, not of his own making but of the Force and of Mara. It pulsed vibrantly around him reacting to the thoughts and feelings swirling between him and her. _'What thoughts did she have behind those clear green eyes?'_

Mara stared at his eyes, then her gaze drifted to his well-shaped lips, swaying towards him as he grasped her slender arms firmly. '_Han said __I should 'flirt' with him. I don't want to do that. Not when I breathe the same air.' _But she couldn't help her nature any more than Luke could his and the pair of them closed together and their mouths touched. Gently at first, as soft as the first rainfall on Alderaan or the flutter of a moth's wing and then his lips found hers properly. It was sunshine and sweet healing rain. It was all blue lightning and meteors - it was as if a fire was lit deep in their hearts.

They stood together, barely touching, but the searing contact mouth to mouth set them both trembling. Almost at once they sprang apart gazing at each other on the dimly lit balcony, their breathing ragged and their faces shocked.

Mara took an uneven, gasping breath, her lips burning hot from the touch of his. One trembling finger traced them, as in disbelief and Luke's gaze narrowed in on the telltale movement.

"It's still there," muttered Luke in amazement and stepped forward again, this time pulling Mara very definitely back into his arms. "It wasn't circumstance and frustration… it's more… it's much more. How could I not have seen this?" He muttered as his lips closed on Mara's again. _'It's like fire…'_ he thought.


	10. Part 10

**Watching, Waiting and Hoping part 10 **

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**by**** Ash**

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**Disclaimer:** Lucasfilm owns the characters and situations used in this story. I'm only borrowing them for a little while to play with them. This chapter could be said to be 'R' rated.

Han searched around the ballroom for any sight of his brother-in-law, Callista or Mara Jade and to his discomfiture found none of them. He quickly scanned the dancers once more and located his wife partnering a rather portly senator from Sluis Van. He cut in quickly and drew his wife aside.

"Where are they?"

Leia did not need to ask who 'they' were."

"Luke was dancing with Mara."

"He was?" his voice rose up delightedly. "He was," he muttered. "Good."

"But they're not doing that now."

"They're not… they're not?" He mumbled something and Leia looked at her husband suspiciously.

"Han!"

"Where's Callista?" he asked urgently.

"I left her in the anteroom."

"She's not with Luke?"

"No, she was alone. Han, do you mind telling me what all this is about?"

"Can you find Luke? Try the hokey religion method. It's more discreet."

Leia, with a calm she definitely was not feeling, closed her eyes and searched out the warm presence in the Force that belonged to Luke. "He's close and he's…" She stopped suddenly, her mouth forming a perfect 'o' of surprise.

"He's what?"

"He's busy."

"What do you mean, he's busy."

Leia leaned forward and whispered in her husband's ear, but at the same time giving a sneaky little bite to his very tempting lobe.

"He is?" He gave a delighted grin. "With Jade? We'll just leave them then." He kissed Leia softly and drew her close. "I told you I'd been intriguing," he murmured.

"So I see, but I've always found you to be that."

He chuckled. "Otherwise she wouldn't have come and certainly wouldn't have spoken to him."

"What did they fall out over?"

Han coughed and assumed his best sabacc playing expression. "I don't want to go into that here, plus I think Luke would kill me for sure. Trust me on this one."

"Of course," Leia smiled and laid her head on his shoulder. Her brother's sense had certainly been busy and very much entwined with Mara's. Leia had felt she was definitely intruding and had stopped probing. The heat coming from them had made her feel rather warm and desire the close company of her husband.

Callista had watched the dancers until Mara had held out her arms to Luke. It was then that she really saw it. Luke had told the truth. He wasn't in love with her any more; he was in love with the red haired trader and Mara returned the emotion. The love just shone from his blue eyes and she wondered if Luke and Mara were even aware of it. Mara was conscious of her own feelings, Callista was sure of it. It would explain the slightly bizarre behaviour the first day that Mara had been in Coruscant. But Luke was still struggling to give the emotion a name. He still associated romantic love very much with heartbreak and Callista knew that was her fault.

A fierce jealousy gripped her as she thought of Luke and Mara together, but it died when she remembered that Mara had done everything in her power to let Luke choose. If Callista had been Luke's choice, Mara would not have got in the way. Mara loved Luke but was unsure of the Jedi Master's feelings.

Part of Callista had still hoped that Luke did love her, but as she watched carefully, Luke put one foot in front of the other, moving steadily across the dance floor until the two Jedi stood face to face. Callista's dreams of a future with the Jedi Master finally toppled and crashed to the ground.

There was a poignant moment as their fingers touched lightly together, then entwined. The dance was a formal one – hands touched, bodies did not - so perhaps, to someone who didn't know Luke intimately there would be no indication that his heart was singing and his blood was on fire, but Callista knew. She'd seen a watered down version of it for herself. Luke _had_ been in love with her eight years ago, but Mara was the love of his life now. The way Luke was staring at Mara Jade, as if she held his whole life and happiness, was far stronger than he'd ever looked at Callista. It was too much for her to bear and she sought an escape route.

Callista turned and skirted the edges of the ballroom, making her way outside to the balcony where she found a hidden bench in the corner and sank down upon it unsure of what do. She'd only been there a moment when quiet murmurs of voices could be heard approaching. Callista carefully peered around the large green shrub that screened her hiding place and froze. Of all the worst things that could happen - she was cut off and the voices belonged to Luke and Mara. '_Move now Callie_,' she told herself, _'before they think you're spying on them_.' But before she could do that Luke turned to Mara, his hands on her arms and bent his blond head to her bright one. Callista swore silently. '_Sithspawn!'_ – she was stuck.

Luke bent his head capturing Mara's lips and just as before, they instantly became lost in the sensations they created between them. Luke pulled her closer and closer, his hands caressing the bare skin of her smooth and supple back covered only by the thin cross of her dress straps. His hands slipped below the straps and began to roam in earnest. Mara gasped as he pulled her closer until she felt the hard length of his body against her own. Her mouth opened, letting his seeking tongue enter and a shaft of heat seared all the way through his insides. "Oh, Mara," he moaned.

"Luke," she replied breathlessly when his lips had left hers and travelled across her cheek. Mara tipped her head back allowing him access to the soft skin at her neck. She found the fastening to Luke's jacket and slid it off his shoulders letting it slip from her hands to lie at their feet, ignored. The soft, brushed cotton of his shirt, sensuous against her fingers, let her trace the muscles of his arms and across his well formed chest. But it wasn't enough; she needed to feel his skin. Part of her knew that this wasn't the place to do it and part of her revelled in the excitement that they might be caught. A strange recklessness spurred her forwards… a strange recklessness or just being in the arms of the man she loved.

Luke slipped the thin straps from her shoulders and his mouth kissed over her smooth skin following it down… down until it latched on to her rosy nipple and suckled. Mara let out a little cry and then a sultry moan as she threw her head back. "Oh, Luke, please, please…"

"Mara… Mara," he breathed hoarsely, his mouth bringing her nipple to the fullness of an aching arousal, his hands pressing her against him. He moved his attention to her other breast lavishing the same care and attention on it.

Mara fumbled with the fastenings to his shirt trying to touch his bare skin, but he was kissing her breasts. Finally losing patience she pulled him up until he faced her. She kissed him again, his tongue duelling with hers in an erotic ballet that could have only one outcome.

"Mara…. Not here…"

"Why not?" she breathed heavily, the emotions swirling about them and through them.

"People…" Luke's power of speech had diminished. He was dangerously close to losing control and taking her here and now. He'd never behaved like this in his entire life, but this woman affected him that strongly.

"No one's here, we… could…" Mara threw her head back as Luke's mouth once more started on her neck and shoulders. "Go… over… there…"

"What?"

"There's a…" she let out another moan. "Bench… behind that… hedge. No one… would find us there."

Callista shut her eyes – she was no voyeur, but the sounds continued to intrude. This was the worst night of her life and the pain lanced through her. The man she loved was making love to another woman and they were heading towards _her_ hiding place. She had to get out of there without them seeing her and she had to do it now. Although, she suspected that Luke and Mara wouldn't spot an army of Sith warriors advancing on them at the moment. It was almost funny in a macabre sort of way even if the joke was definitely on Callista.

She moved quickly, slipping through a gap in the shrubs. Callista congratulated herself on her silent escape from terminal mortification until she tripped over Luke's jacket and came clattering down on to her knees. It was too much, the tears slipped down over her cheeks, the jagged hurt tearing at her insides. She rubbed at her eyes with her fists like a child would. The temptation to curl into a foetal position and stay there, rocking herself until the pain vanished was extremely strong, but the desire warred with the knowledge she did not want to be discovered by the lovers.

Luke lifted his head from Mara's neck. "What was that? I just heard something."

Mara jerked herself from his arms, her kiss-swollen lips revealing exactly what had occupied her for so long. "Somebody's been watching us?" With trembling fingers Mara tried to pull her dress up over her naked breasts and found that she could not until Luke helped her. His fingers were almost as unsteady.

Ignoring the pain from her bruised knees, Callista shot upwards and disappeared into the ballroom before the Jedi could identify their unwilling eavesdropper.

Luke scanned the balcony area with his Jedi senses and shook his head at Mara. "If there was someone here, they're gone now. I can't even sense the hint of a presence." He trailed a gentle finger over her nipples, feeling them instantly harden beneath the soft material. "I can't believe you and I… we…"

"Nearly…" Mara's face went scarlet. "What were we thinking of?"

"That's just it, Mara. I don't believe we were… thinking. I suppose we were… feeling."

"I want to go home," she said flatly as her temperature cooled down. Something about Luke's words had touched a chord. He'd not sensed anyone watching them, yet someone had been there.

"No, we have to return to the ballroom."

"Look, Skywalker, I'm in no state to return anywhere," she replied sharply.

Luke pulled her out of the shadows and underneath one of the ornamental lanterns. Her face was still flushed with arousal, her eyes were wide and her red-gold hair was straggling wildly from the sophisticated style. His fingers and ardent mouth had wrought considerable damage to her appearance. He trailed a careful finger over her soft cheek, past her crimson kiss-stung mouth, devoid now of makeup but still beautiful, and down over her slender neck where the faint but unmistakeable signs of a man's mouth had left his mark. Something primitive and male possessed Luke at that moment. He'd marked her as his own – Mara Jade was his now. He bent his head and covered her mouth once more and she groaned deep in her throat. Urgently he pressed her against his strong body, feeling it surge once more into life.

"You're right", he panted hoarsely when he finally released her. "Let's get out of here."

Luke tugged her by the hand into a run and hustled her along the balcony.

"Luke…"

"Come on, Jade."

"Where are we going?"

"You wanted to go home – we're going home."

"I'm not going back in there like this!" She screeched to a halt, stubbornly refusing to move any further.

The Jedi Master smiled and ran his fingers again over her soft cheek. "You look beautiful, I told you. Still, perhaps you're right. We don't have to go back in."

"But there's no way out of here _without_ going back in."

Luke's face lit up with juvenile mischief and Mara felt her senses flutter.

"Skywalker!" she warned.

"Come on," he insisted, hauling at her hand.

"Where?" Mara's voice rose in exasperation.

Luke towed her to the edge of the balcony, peered over the railing and pointed to another level just below the one they were on. "There's no one around down there – good. Take off your shoes." He sat her on the balustrade and unfastened the delicate strappy footwear. "You can't leap successfully in these. What possessed you to wear them?"

"I happened to be attending a reception in the state ballroom in the Imperial Palace attended by the most important and influential citizens in the New Republic." Mara arched a sardonic eyebrow. "I didn't think I'd be doing Jedi assault courses dressed in high heels and a silk gown."

"You have to be prepared for everything, Jade," he instructed with male satisfaction.

"Spare me the lecture, Master Skywalker. Next time I'll wear my boots. They look terrible with this dress, but hey, who cares."

"Jade!"

"I don't usually have to leave so precipitously…"

"Mara!" Luke swung her into his arms, gave her a brief hard kiss. "Shut up."

Before Mara had time to consider what she was doing, Luke had her up on the balustrade and they were springing down to land safely on the lower level balcony, their landing cushioned by the Force.

Luke knelt before her and picked up a slim foot.

"Hey, Skywalker."

"Here…" He slipped her foot into the shoe and fastened it with deft fingers and then did the same with the other one. Mara shivered at the touch of his hands on her feet. But when he tried to get up, Mara placed one newly shod foot into the middle of the Jedi Master's chest and pushed.

"Hey!" He looked up at her with the aggrieved expression of a small boy being denied a favourite treat. "What was that for?"

"I'm sure you'll think of a reason," she returned smartly. "You going to sit there all day?"

"Depends…"

"Well, I'm not waiting here any longer." She made as if to leave, a small smile playing about her lips.

"Come on." He grinned with satisfaction as he stood up, brushing the seat of his pants. "We can get to the main corridor from here. But first…" Luke pulled her back into his arms and covered her face with passionate kisses.

Mara almost laughed aloud. She'd hardly ever seen Luke this uninhibited in all the years she'd known him. "Where's your jacket?"

"I think I left it on the balcony." He brushed his cream shirt lightly and smiled at her. "Who cares? I said come on."

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere we can be alone, where there is a bed where I can make love to you again and again…." His voice dipped lower and she felt her stomach lurch in anticipation. "Until we're so sated that we cannot move."

Mara closed on him and wound her arms around his neck. "My apartment is nearer," she whispered breathily, sending him images of what she would like to do with him.

Luke swallowed, his eyes going wide as he froze. "Really?" he asked as assorted images assaulted his senses. "Is that sort of thing legal in this sector?"

"Oh, I think so,"

"I know your apartment is nearer, but mine is only two floors above it. Okay… yours is nearer." A muscle worked in his cheek and Mara felt that he was holding on to everything he had with all the strength he had. "Mara, we need to go there now, or I won't be able to answer for what my actions will be." His eyes glittered with suppressed feelings and the woman in his arms caught the sudden seriousness of his mood, her throat dry and her hands shaking.

They dropped their hands and carefully, not looking at each other or touching, they made their way along the corridors to the turbolift. Side by side they stood in silence until the doors slid open and they stood in front of Mara's apartment.

"Open the door, Mara."

She frowned a little and lifted her hand to lay it on his arm.

"Don't touch me." His voice was sharp and she backed away bewildered.

"If you touch me now. I won't be able to wait until we're inside. As it is I'm trying not to carve your door open with my lightsaber and take you in the hallway.

Mara firmed her lips together and punched in her entrance code. The door slid aside and she walked carefully in, aware of Luke following her, his eyes never wavering from her slender figure.

The door closed and they turned to each other in the cramped confines of the darkened entrance-hall.

"Drink?" she asked, her tongue sweeping over her dry lips.

Luke's gaze narrowed. "No," he replied. "Unless you're thirsty."

"No, I'm not thirsty. Not for a drink."

"Mara… I…" he stuttered. "Oh, hell." And he grabbed her.

Mara let out a cry of surprise and then couldn't say any more as his mouth was on hers and his arms were around her, his lips wildly giving. Their bodies pressed tightly together in the age-old mating ritual.


	11. Part 11

**Watching, Waiting and Hoping **

**Part 11 by Ash D.**

**Disclaimer - **Lucasfilm Ltd owns the characters and situations in this story. I've only borrowed them for a short while to play with them. This chapter is 'R' rated.

Callista shot through the doors back into the ballroom and took in lungfuls of air, trying to calm the rapid beating of her heart and ridding the palpable air of distress from her person. Inside the ballroom the scene was unchanged but deep in her heart and mind, Callista knew her life had taken another strange and quixotic turn. A burst of anger shot through her as she considered how unfair it was. But she had made her choices and created the direction destiny was going to take her.

Luke was in love with Mara Jade and she with him, there was no denying the feeling between them. '_They're really going to have to work on their split-level concentration skills. A whole army of Imperial clones could have stood behind them and those two still wouldn't have noticed.'_ She sighed ruefully. Leia was right - it wasn't Callista's time. As far as she and Luke had been concerned, it had never been her time. It was one of those things that caused heartache and pain to all concerned, but she wasn't going to have a happy ever after story. _'Perhaps I can help Luke achieve his?'_ A sob threatened to break through her assumed façade. '_Force, I sound so noble… but I still love him. I can't destroy his happiness – I just can't_.'

"Callista?" Han stood in front of her. She was pale, unhappy and seemed lost in her own thoughts.

"Callista," he repeated. She looked up, startled, as his voice broke through her reverie. "Everything okay?"

"Han." She acknowledged him then fell silent and stared at her toes, hoping he wouldn't notice her tear streaked cheeks and red-rimmed eyes.

"What is it?"

"Nothing. Really, it's nothing."

"That means it's something _or_ someone."

"You're very perceptive, Han."

"I have to be living with four Force sensitive people in the house and with one of my friends head of the Jedi order. I have to keep my wits about me to keep up with them. Believe me, it can be very hard, but in this case... it wasn't so difficult." '_The fact you've been crying is a dead giveaway.'_

"How do you manage?"

"I've never had the Force, I've just learned to trust my instincts and I've been knocking around the galaxy for a long while now. You learn enough to survive. Eight years is a long time…"

"I thought I might have adjusted by now and I suppose I have. It's just…" she stared up at him, the shadows deep in her grey eyes. "I find myself reaching out all the time. I've misjudged a lot of people and made a lot of mistakes."

"Callista." With the soft rustle of the material from her gown, Leia joined them. "Have you seen Luke?"

The taller woman went a funny pasty colour and again began to examine her feet. "No."

Leia slid Han a comprehending glance. "You have – where is he?" Leia turned to go out onto the balcony. "He won't like this, but there are some dignitaries he has to meet."

"Don't go out there!" Callista called sharply, panicked as Leia brushed past her and stood at the door, peering out into the dimly lit area.

"Why ever not – there's no one out there."

"There's no one…" Confusion suffused Callista's face. "But I heard… I saw… They were behind…"

Han began to nod his head as enlightenment dawned. "Luke is out there…" He wandered closer to his wife, "And he's with Mara." It could be the only reason Callista was so upset. _'Well! The kid must have apologised enough to please the lady – at least, he hoped Luke had been sensible and had done that.'_

Callie visibly drooped. "Yes," she whispered, the raw agony swiftly crossing her classical features. "I didn't know it could hurt so much seeing them together. I didn't know that I loved him that much and how big a mistake I made by leaving him." Her shoulders shook slightly as she attempted to master the despair gaining the upper hand in her heart and mind.

"Well, they're not there now." Leia's voice was tart. She was supposed to be introducing the Jedi Master to some of the honoured guest representatives and in true Luke fashion he had skipped off without telling her. She should know by now that you couldn't make Luke do something he didn't want to and he was impulsive by nature, but this was more impetuous than usual. She didn't think he'd moved this rapidly since the first Death Star.

"But they must be… They were… I don't understand. Have you scanned for them?"

"Yes," Leia answered, a little frostily. "My Jedi training is not as rudimentary as all that. I can certainly locate my brother's presence in the Force – or lack of it. He's not out there."

Han wandered casually outside. "Where were they?"

"Over there…"

Han pursed his lips thoughtfully and scratched his chin. "Ah… what's this?" He picked up a dark object from the ground and brought it to Leia.

"Luke's jacket?"

"Yup." Han prowled around for a bit, humming faintly.

"Han!" Leia muttered.

"Sorry, sweetheart. Can you sense if there's been a struggle."

"I would have heard…" Callista began.

"Leia?"

His wife closed her eyes and focused on her brother's signature in the Force. It was always with her, no matter how near or far, but tonight it was muted as if something was interfering. Still, the feeling that she had gotten earlier of barely suppressed passion was - in spite of everything – there."

She relaxed a little. "He's okay as far as I can tell."

Callista tried to remember the long ago days of her own training. She'd helped Leia once before without the Force. She couldn't sense what Leia was feeling but she could help. Callista straightened her shoulders as a gut reaction told her this was the right thing to do. For the first time in ages she was able to behave like a Jedi and pass on some of the skills she had learned. It was time to offer a little guidance.

"Focus on that sensation, Leia," Callista's low voice sounded loud in her ear. "What else are you aware of?"

Leia breathed deeply and exhaled. "I can feel mischief and warmth." She snapped open her eyes and walked to the far end of the balcony. "They left that way."

"So we can all stop worrying." Han murmured, before freezing. "What do you mean they left that way?" There was no exit.

"I'll throttle that brother of mine one of these days." Leia sighed. "They jumped over the railing and escaped that way."

"Hey! He hates these occasions. He could do with an early night." Han closed his mouth; he just reckoned that he'd said too much. He only hoped Leia wouldn't notice his slip… or Callista.

I think I'll take my leave too," Callista said. "I'll see you again before I go." She needed some solitude to do some serious thinking. It could work… the possibility was there and for the first time, Callista could see some purpose.

"You're leaving?"

"I think we all know that Luke isn't interested in me any more and I'm finding it awkward enough… It will be nice to return home and not have a holo-reporter following me." She gave the Solos a shaky smile.

"Callista… Don't leave without talking to the kid this time."

"I won't. I'm going to offer to help the Jedi knights. I still can't do it on Yavin IV. The temptation to dabble in the dark side would be too strong, but Icould work from home. Just helping you there, Leia, made me see that I could give practical assistance."

"Where are you going?" Leia asked although she thought she already knew.

"I'm going home to Chad. I had to leave to be with my Master all those years ago when I agreed to training, but I'm finally free to go home. Most of my contemporaries are dead and gone but just being next to the ocean will mean so much. You can't believe how much I missed being able to go home."

Leia's eyes took on a faraway glint. "I think I can," she whispered.

"Now that Luke knows I'm back I can finally go home."

"It was one of the first places he tried to look for you." Leia added, remembering.

"I thought so. It was one of reasons I didn't go there. Now if he needs to contact me I'll be on Chad, next to the most beautiful oceans in the entire galaxy." She smiled sadly. "I'm trying to make the best of things, Leia. I don't want to make a scene. It's finally time for me to open a new chapter. I'll always love Luke…"

"It's alright." Leia stepped forwards and embraced Callista, finally forgiving her for things that were past. "We understand."

The former Jedi sniffed a little and then nearly did start crying as Han also embraced her.

"Hey," Han tapped Callista lightly on the cheek. "You're nearer the spirit of the Jedi Knights now than you probably have been for a long time. Keep your chin up and keep in touch this time. You have all that knowledge and experience locked up inside you. It would be a shame not to pass it on."

"I will." Callista produced a handkerchief, wiped her eyes and left Leia and Han alone on the balcony.

The Solos watched her go, sympathy in their eyes. "She's a brave woman," Han murmured putting his arm around Leia's shoulders.

"That was never in doubt. She was just misguided and occasionally, I think, a little foolish."

"She did love him."

"She didn't love him enough to stay with him that first time and as I said – a little foolish. If she'd never left Luke…"

"They'd probably be married by now."

"Probably and that would be really hard."

Han tilted his head down, gazing at his wife quizzically. "Why would that be hard?"

"Because, flyboy, as you pointed out to me, Luke is in love with Mara and if appearances are anything to go by - she's in love with him. Callista just delayed the inevitable from happening later than it should have done."

"I think you're correct on this one. I remember Luke and Mara when they first met. There was a connection as far back as Myrkr, without the Force, and on Wayland with it. It wasn't love then, but there was definitely chemistry. Just like us." He kissed his wife's pert nose. "Come on, your worshipfulness – haven't you got some politicking to do, disguised as dancing? We can leave the kid to do his own romancing. He'll be fine."

Leia laughed. "I do, Han, but I think I can squeeze in a trip round the floor with this rather good looking Corellian I picked up a while back."

Her husband chuckled. "Now that's an offer I cannot refuse, sweetheart."

Mara awakened to the sensation of someone kissing her breasts with lazy enjoyment. "You woke me," she accused lightly.

"Did I?" The words were a little muffled as he moved lower, stuck his tongue in her naval and chuckled as he felt her squirm. His tousled head appeared above the covers again, grinning wildly.

"You still have energy after the night we've just spent?" Mara's voice was incredulous.

Luke laughed and kissed his way over her shoulders and up to her smiling mouth. As soon as his lips touched hers the magic began anew. This time the loving was gentle and agonisingly slow as both participants wanted to draw out the experience for as long as they could. Eventually they lay wrapped in each other's arms gazing at nothing in particular each of them busy with thoughts of what they'd just experienced.

Mara Jade glanced at her lover, a soft smile covering her lips. She'd only begun to fathom how deep her feelings ran for the Jedi Master. Friend, enemy, lover, teacher, and equal - the list went on and on. He completed her and made her whole. For the first time in her life she realised how empty a human being she'd been. Her reliance on her pride and on her much vaunted skills prevented her from making the journey towards a better life. "I love you, Luke," Mara whispered softly, unable to keep silent any longer. "I love you."

Luke's mind went blank. '_Love?'__ Love caused you pain. People betrayed you and lied to you but disguised it as 'love'._

"Luke?" she whispered. "I said I loved you." She turned her head and gazed at his profile. Mara couldn't feel anything coming from him at all. He'd raised his barriers against her.

He turned his head slowly to face her and his eyes glittered strangely. "Callista said that she loved me too." He gazed back up at the ceiling once again - the complete lack of emotion chilling in one who usually let his emotions bubble far too near the surface.

Mara narrowed her eyes. She'd just bared her soul to the man, finally revealed what had been festering in her heart and mind for years. The lovemaking they'd shared surely was a manifestation of what each of them felt for the other.

"Are you comparing me to Callista?" Mara couldn't believe she was asking this. "Do you wish that it was her lying here instead of me?" Her temper began to rise.

"She said she loved me and then left."

"So you figure that I'm going to do the same."

"It's what usually happens. You don't usually hang around for long. Good old Skywalker – farmboy, Jedi Master, dupe..."

"Have I ever betrayed you before?"

"No, but you never said that you loved me before either."

"I can't believe after what we've just experienced, you're comparing me to the body snatcher?"

Luke sat up, his expression furious, his lips white with suppressed temper. "Callista wanted to be with me…"

"So she came back to life for you and then left you to wander the galaxy searching for her. In eight years she never let you know if she was even alive. Oh yes, Skywalker, that sure sounds like somebody who wants to be with you." Mara cut in viciously. "If you treated her declarations of love so cavalierly I'm not surprised that she left you."

"That's unfair, Jade."

"Unfair! You don't know the meaning of unfair," she shouted bitterly. "Unfair is me loving you when I didn't want to." The desolation clawed at her gut and threatened to spill over in anguished tears. She wouldn't let him see her cry. "Do you think even after all that was done to me by the Emperor it was easy to rid myself of a lifetime of Imperial conditioning? You were my enemy and then my friend. You showed me compassion and respect when no one else in the New Republic would have trusted me. I started to fall in love with you then. I didn't want to. Love made me weak…" She rolled away, dashing the traitorous tears before he could see them.

"Then it's only a matter of time before you stopped. Love is a temporary thing."

Mara rose up on one elbow, clutching the sheet to her breasts. "I can't believe you, of all people, could be so cynical. It's not like you at all. You are capable of great love. Your family, your friends… the Jedi Order."

"That's not the same."

"No? Luke… what we shared last night and the night before was nothing short of miraculous."

Her words struck him and he clenched his fists to stop them trembling. Luke laughed bleakly, trying to cover his fears. "Then it's about time I learned. This kind of love hasn't brought me anything but heartache."

"Listen to yourself, Luke," Mara pleaded. "Listen to me…"

"I am."

"No _listen." _Mara gave a cry of frustration. He was breaking her heart and he didn't know it. The most important person in her life - one she would die for - and he was rejecting her love. It was the most precious thing she had to give. All at once the Force bond between them gave a little tug – the barriers between them started to break down. The shields were failing and she let all her anguish flood out. They'd always had a bond through the Force – not as strong as Luke had with Leia, but there had been one nonetheless. Now the natural barriers Mara had erected between her and Luke were dissolving. She couldn't hide what she felt from him any more.

A burst of feeling hit the Jedi Master; one of distress and total, abject misery. He tried to raise his shields to block the emotions emanating from her but they were too strong – too overwhelming. His barriers dissolved in a wave of her pain.

Luke heard his words he'd said echo around his head. Again he heard his cruelty to Mara, the one person he'd thought would never betray him, and he felt her response – the hurt and the sorrow. He wanted to take back all he'd said, to bury himself in her warmth but the fear of losing her kept him saying stupid things – kept him from taking a chance that she would never let him down– compelled him to keep her at a distance. He wasn't a cruel man but she was too beautiful to stay with him and love him. If she loved him she would, in the end, leave him – everyone else had. He was trying to prevent the thing happening that he feared the most. He didn't want Mara out of his life, but it was better if she didn't love him.

"I think you'd better leave."

Her voice was glacial and Luke knew that he'd hurt her deeply. He'd been cruel, but couldn't she see how afraid he was? Couldn't she see his anger stemmed from the fear that she'd walk out on him? Callista had hurt him more than enough to last him the rest of his life. If he let down the final barrier and gave his heart totally to Mara, when she left him he would not survive emotionally. "Mara… I…"

"Just leave." She turned away from him, burrowing into the comforter, her shields locked up tight.

Luke stretched out his hand which hovered over her bright curls in an almost caress before pushing the covers aside and dressing swiftly and silently. "I'm sorry, Mara," he muttered wretchedly. "But love…" He shook his head, his face impassive, and left.

When the door closed behind him Mara gave way to the tears she'd been struggling to keep in since he'd rejected her. "He's wrong," she repeated over and over as she sobbed out her grief. "He's so wrong. I've loved him for nearly ten years. I would never betray that love. I want to be with him… I want to be in his arms where it's warm. My heart is cold without him. I'm not alive without him and I do love him… I do." Eventually she fell into a restless sleep, where the love of a blue-eyed charmer was given freely and without reserve.


	12. Part 12 conclusion

**Watching, Waiting & Hoping – part 12**

**Disclaimer** – The characters and situations used in the story are the property of Lucasfilm and I am not making a credit out of them.

Luke reached his own apartment, his mind in a fog. He could feel Mara's distress now. She'd thrown up her shields when he'd left but he'd felt them cracking and the grief pouring forth like water from a broken dam. He'd done this to her. He'd inflicted this pain because he couldn't dare to love her. He moved to the window and stared across the city. He remembered the sun in her hair, the smile in her voice when she'd teased him about something inconsequential and the graceful fluidity of her movements wielding her lightsaber or just dancing in his arms. He remembered how she'd felt when he'd entered her body and the feeling of being home at last when she kissed him.

Luke hung his head with shame. Mara was a wonderful person. Fierce, but loyal with a soft inner core that could still be hurt and he suspected that he'd just dealt her a blow from which she might never recover. He'd surely driven her away now and she'd never forgive him.

"But love… for me? It just doesn't happen," he whispered brokenly.

For the rest of the day he moped about his apartment trying not to feel Mara's pain which had already become a part of him. He could sense her hopelessness and her desolation at his refusal to trust her. She'd thought he was the one person who'd always trusted her. Luke realised with an unpleasant start that instead of Mara betraying him, he had betrayed Mara.

He turned and slumped into his favourite form chair, a glass of lomin ale in his hand. It wasn't the best option, but one he very much fancied taking – getting good and drunk. He took a gulp of liquid and activated the holoviewer.

His own face crossed the screen. Luke frowned darkly and moved to switch off until he saw the woman by his side. It was a report on his activities over the last few weeks. The early pictures were all of Callista. He saw himself laughing and smiling for the reporters, but there was always something missing in his face. He sighed deeply and again moved to switch the holoviewer off. That was until Mara's face flashed up on the screen. Luke pressed the volume control on the side of his chair.

'…_Mara Jade… There have been rumours of an involvement with the Jedi Master for a number of years, but both parties have declined to comment and there has been no evidence to support the fact that there was any sort of romantic attachment between the Jedi Master and the beautiful Mistress Jade. The arrival of Master Skywalker's former girlfriend, Callista Ming on Coruscant and their constant togetherness over the past three weeks have led many observers to speculate that there may even be wedding chimes in the offing for the head of the Jedi Order and the elegant Callista. That was until last night's State Reception held in the banqueting and Ballrooms of the __Imperial__Palace__.'_

The picture changed to show the scene and Luke spotted himself hovering amongst the guests, laughing at something his brother-in-law had said. "I never even noticed the camera being there," he mused lightly.

'_Observers noted that Master Skywalker was seen talking to Mistress Callista during the evening, but he didn't dance with her. It is said that the Jedi Master rarely dances although my sources tell me he is actually quite accomplished…'_

Luke almost laughed. "Mara would find that really funny," And then the dull, throbbing ache of Mara's hurt made itself felt through this bond in the Force that had strengthened significantly the moment he'd taken her in his arms for the first time.

_'… My sources tell me that it was Mara Jade, Master Skywalker danced with and it was Mara Jade he left with. They were seen later holding hands and engaging in activities of a romantic nature…'_

He tuned out the rest of the gossiping report and focused on the footage taken of him dancing with Mara. She lit up the entire room, it was clear to see, and she was certainly the most beautiful woman there but what shocked Luke the most was the expression on his own face. He looked absolutely besotted, as if there was no one else there and she was the sun in his universe.

Luke gaped at the screen as if he'd been punched in the gut with no prior warning. He looked like a man in love and Mara… the expression on her face… He closed his mouth and swallowed uncomfortably, memories of their passion twisting through his mind. Mara looked as if there was no one else for her… ever. Her love shone out of her clear green eyes… for him. "She loves me? She really loves me and I…I love her. It's too late. I've ruined it between us – she said she loved me but I didn't believe that it could possibly be true. Oh, Mara!" He rubbed his hands wearily across his face.

Unexpectedly his door com chimed. Luke stretched out with the Force hoping that it might be Mara but he couldn't sense anything or anyone. Then he knew who it was and tiredly moved to answer her summons.

"Come in, Callie."

Callista stared at Luke and her jaw dropped. "Luke, are you okay? I mean… you look terrible." His clothes were crumpled, his hair awry, but the clearest piece of evidence was the desolate expression in his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"I may not have the Force, but I can tell when you are not telling the truth. There is no way that you are fine."

"Callie!" he whined. She'd suddenly started to sound like his Aunt Beru.

"And don't take that tone with me either, Master Skywalker," she rebuked, a glimmer of a small smile haunting her face, but as she perceived his hopelessness her face changed, her demeanour ready to comfort. "What is it, Luke? Just tell me."

"It's me…"

Callista pushed him gently back into the lounge and the door slid shut behind them. "Nice to see you've done a lot with this place since the last time I was here… oh, around eight years ago." She surveyed the room. "Luke, this is exactly the same as it was when I left. I thought you said you'd moved on?"

Luke slumped into his chair and stared vaguely at the holoscreen. Another picture of Mara and Luke flashed across the screen before the Jedi Master switched it off with a sudden angry wave of his hand.

"Luke… I've come to say goodbye."

"Goodbye?"

"I think it's for the best."

He lifted his head and nodded sadly. "Will it be eight years before I see you again?"

"No, Luke. I'm going home. I'm going back to Chad. If you want to see me that's where I'll be."

He sat up, a spark of interest lighting the blue dullness of his gaze. "Why are you telling me this?"

"I want to be able to help the Jedi, Luke. I have knowledge and I want to be able to pass on what I was taught."

"Can't you come to Yavin?"

She shook her head, regretfully. "On occasions I may visit, but it would be wrong for me to go there. I still cannot access the Force the way I used to and I'm not risking falling to the dark side. I would like to be available for consultation on Chad if you wanted my aid."

"I can see that being possible," he murmured.

"You could send fully trained Knights to me and I could go over philosophy and history. Tionne has garnered a lot of information. I could work it into courses for you to teach." Her grey eyes warmed and the lilt in her voice strengthened as she talked about a road for herself to travel on."

Luke smiled at her – she was well and strong and he felt great admiration for her spirit. Any other person would have given up, but never Callista. "You've worked it all out."

"I have. There is another reason why I couldn't stay on Yavin, Luke."

"What… why?"

"You and Mara. You're in love with her."

"I'm not in love with her." The denial still came easily to his lips but it was a lie and he knew it. "I can't be. Love just causes pain. You should know that, Callista." His tone turned accusatory.

"I still love you and yes, I'm hurt that you cannot return my love, but I made my choice, Luke and I accept it. But love doesn't have to be painful. Not when you find the right person to love. If you do love her, don't throw it away. I never thought you were a fool, Luke Skywalker, but if you squander your love you'll be acting like one. Once I came to my senses I wondered how anyone could be so blind. You are so very much a part of her that it will only hurt you both to stay apart."

"She said she loved me." A sob came to his lips. "She whispered it while she was wrapped in my arms and…" His voice broke. "How can I bear to lose her?"

"Oh, Luke." Callista enfolded him in her arms and ran her thumbs under his eyes, wiping away the tears. Now she understood the reason for his appearance.

"Everything I've known of true love has always left me. Every girl I've tried to have a relationship with, has gone. Was I the reason you left? Is it me?"

"No… the right one is waiting for you. You're a good man and she's there for you. Mara loves you - don't let her get away."

"I wish it was that easy…"

"Love is never easy, Luke." She smiled comfortingly. "Think about this. Mara's not the type to say things that aren't true. She's not the kind of woman to reveal details that make her vulnerable. She's spent her entire life being strong. She has as much to lose as you do." She nodded slightly as the first glimmers of understanding flickered across his face. "Mara Jade let herself be vulnerable for you. Now I've a shuttle to catch. When I get settled on Chad, I'll be in touch. We can work out details later."

Luke walked to his desk and picked up a box of data cards. "You'll be needing this back then."

"Yes, I suppose I will."

"I'll finish the ones I was working on and you can do the rest."

Callista smiled calmly and put the box in her pocket. "I'd better go."

"Yeah, I'm sorry things turned out the way they did between us, Callie."

"I'm sorry too…" She gave a fleeting thought for what was not meant to be. "But Mara is far more a match for you than I'll ever be. Don't let her get away. You do love her you know. You wouldn't have slept with her if you hadn't."

His blue eyes darkened. "How did you know?"

"You're still wearing your clothes from last night and you couldn't take your eyes from Mara or keep your hands from touching her. You don't use people… you're more inclined to be used by them because that's what you're like… you are so giving of yourself. You would give your life a thousand times over to make the galaxy a better place. Don't let your capacity for love go to waste. Don't ignore Luke Skywalker's need to be loved."

"I'll try, but I don't think Mara will even speak to me. That's twice I've walked out on her because I'm too stupid to see what's in front of my nose."

Callie winced. Walking out on Mara once and she forgave him was miraculous, but twice! Mara wasn't the type to wear her heart on the outside of her tunic. "Luke…" Callista walked slowly to his front door and waited until it slid aside. "What was one of the first things Master Yoda taught to you?"

His smile was rueful. "Do or do not…"

"That's the one."

She held out her arms and Luke clasped her to him in a platonic embrace.

"Take care, Luke."

"You too."

"If Mara really loves you she will give you another chance."

Mara twisted around in the too wide bed and the hurt filled her mind once more. He'd rejected her again. Was there something about her that he couldn't love? She'd felt as if they were meant to be together as soon as his lips touched hers that very first time. Climbing wearily from the bed and refusing to look at the indentation Luke's head had left on the pillow, she dragged her aching body to the shower and stood for ages under the spray. The hot water trickled over her head, plastering her hair flat against her face, her whole mind numb with shock and anguish. She couldn't stay here on Coruscant now – not when he didn't love her. But it had felt as if he had. It had been so wonderful – everything she'd ever dreamed of. His strong arms holding her close, the joy she'd felt when he'd merely smiled at her and the rapture when his body had joined with hers, making them one. It was all a lie.

The funny thing was, she could still feel him. He'd erected his barriers, she'd put up her strongest mental shields and yet she could still feel him with her, hear his voice replaying in her mind and knew that he was hurting too. Whatever he said or did - this was affecting him almost as strongly as it did her. Moving stiffly from the refresher, she dressed in her usual jumpsuit and tunic and wondered if she could even face the thought of food. Eventually she switched on the holoviewer and unwillingly watched the images of the night before when she'd danced in his arms and kissed him below the stars of a million worlds.

"He said he didn't want to lose me. He said our friendship was too important to him. He wasn't sorry about the night we spent together. He didn't regret it one bit and neither did I. I can't give up on him. That would be giving up on my love and he thinks I'll leave him like Callista did. I was about to do just that. At the first hurdle I would have let him down too." With a sense of purpose trying to break through her melancholy Mara dragged a brush through her hair, combing the tangles from it until it hung sleekly down her back. "Order out of chaos," she chanted to herself as she braided it and coiled it behind her head. It was up to her to give some order to Skywalker's brain. She'd forgotten that he didn't think like other sentients. "He needs me… he needs me," she repeated to give herself courage.

With a deep breath Mara left her apartment and entered the turbolift and a moment later, the doors slid aside on Luke's floor. She hoped he would listen to her… she hoped he would…

Luke stood at the door to his apartment and Callista was in his arms.

_'Noooo!'_She gave a silent scream.

Mara swayed where she stood, the agony splitting through her like the cleave of a vibroaxe. She'd never experienced such pain. Her hands pressed tight against her skull, her eyes closed and she gasped for breath. It was as if someone was physically tearing her in half.

Luke felt the pain hit him just as he moved away from Callista. The scream echoed and rebounded over and over inside his head. He dropped to his knees, his hands clawing at his temples as if to ward off the agony. "Mara!" he screamed.

"Luke!" Callista gripped his shoulders frantically. She hadn't heard Mara's silent scream but it had affected the Jedi Master. "Luke!" She spun around, her hand going to her saber until she saw Mara hanging on to the open door of the turbolift, her face pure white and her whole body physically shaking.

'_How could he…?' _Glaring green laser bolts of hatred at Callista, Mara slumped back into the lift and the doors closed.

"Damn!" Callista muttered. She wondered what Mara had done to Luke. The most powerful man in the galaxy was trembling with pain. The only explanation was the innocent embrace she'd exchanged with him. Mara had been about to come and give Luke another chance, only to see him in her arms. "Sithspawn! She saw us. Luke… you holding on there?"

"Yeah," he said weakly, the life beginning to spark back into his blue eyes. "I have to go after her." He tried to struggle to his feet, wavering on his unsteady limbs.

"That you do, but I'm going first."

"No you can't. She'll kill you."

"Possibly, but if you two aren't together you'll both suffer."

"Nonsense." He wobbled to his feet, breathing heavily. "I can't let her think…"

"I've not seen many bonds like the one I've witnessed just now, but you're going to find it very difficult to go on without her. You'll live, but it will be a half-life." She took a calming breath. "I'm going to stop her; you're going to follow. You will need every bit of a Jedi Master's strength and endurance. She loves you very much as you do her."

"Callie…" Luke protested.

Callista took off towards the lift and vanished inside. Unhooking her saber she stood at the wide open door to Mara's apartment. So she wouldn't have any difficulty getting inside. With an enormous amount of trepidation she hit the door com. Walking in unimpeded, she found Mara standing stiffly, her arms wrapped around her body, gazing out the window.

"Get out."

"It's not what you think." Callista kept her voice even.

Mara stiffened at the sound of Callista's voice. "How do you know what I think?"

"Why did you run?"

"Why was Luke in your arms?"

"I was saying goodbye. I'm leaving Coruscant."

"That makes two of us." Mara's voice was deadly cold.

"Don't leave him, Mara. It's not his fault - it's mine. When I walked out and left him all those years ago I destroyed his faith in love - true love between a man and a woman."

"That's why he was in your arms?"

"It was just a farewell embrace – that's all. We're friends - there was no passion involved."

"He said he couldn't love me."

"And you believed him? Don't be a fool, Jade."

Mara swung around and stared furiously at Callista, the fire sparking out from her incredible green eyes. "Who are you calling a fool?"

"You." Callista said simply. "It takes one to know one. I walked away from Luke and lived to regret my decision. Don't make the same mistake I did."

"If I go then it's clear for you." Mara muttered. "You can resume your relationship. I won't be there to get in the way."

"He loves _you_, not me." Callista insisted strongly. "He's been more afraid to love you than anyone, Mara, because you mean more to him than I ever did. You're far more important to him than anyone else. If he loses you, he will never love again. So he reasons in his own particular way, that if he doesn't say he loves you then you won't leave him. If he can't have you, he won't have anyone. You will _always_ be in the way."

"I… Then why…?"

"I was saying goodbye, Mara. You can't exist without him, no more than he can exist without you. I can't compete with that kind of love and I don't want to. It's _you_ he loves."

"He does love me." Mara whispered softly, her voice unsteady. "I knew that he did… I knew with everything in my power that he did." She slid down the wall and buried her head in her hands and Callista watched in amazement as the strong, indomitable Mara Jade broke down in front of her.

The clatter of booted feet alerted Callie to his arrival. It was at that moment Luke charged into the apartment, skidding into the walls in his haste and anxiety to get there.

**Watching, Waiting & Hoping - Conclusion**

This is the final part of the story. My thanks to the girls as usual. Mona, Aria, Una and the others. The characters in this are owned by Lucasfilm but loved by me. No credits are being made. Ash D.

The clatter of booted feet alerted Callie to his arrival. It was at that moment Luke charged into the apartment, skidding into the walls in his haste and anxiety to get there. He saw Mara in tears and felt her heart breaking because of what she thought he'd done. If there had been any doubt in his mind it was completely gone. Sinking down onto his knees, he pulled her into the circle of his embrace, babbling frantic words of love, reassurance and comfort.

"Mara, sweetheart… I love you so much. I'm an idiot… Listen, I love you. I never meant to cause you pain. How can I cause you so much pain, when you're the last person in the galaxy I want to hurt? Please, forgive me… Mara… I'm nothing without you."

But the trader just covered her face, sobbing harder. Luke pulled her into his lap, lifted her tear-stained face to his and tried to cover it with kisses. "Mara, I love you. Please, believe me. I'm the most obtuse nerf in the galaxy and I don't deserve you. Darling… please don't cry." The desperation and truth in his voice finally began to penetrate Mara's misery.

Callista watched for a moment longer as Luke took Mara's hand and pressed it to his heart. It was time to go. The agony at watching Luke and Mara reconcile was too much. She was being noble but Callista knew when she was beaten. They didn't notice her slipping out and shutting the door behind her.

Mara's eyes fastened on Luke's terrified blue ones and gradually she relaxed her crying into hiccoughing sobs, as he continued to pour agonised assurances into her ears.

"Listen," he finally whispered. "I was wrong… I love you. I think I've always loved you. You can see into my heart can't you? I'm open to you. Search through my mind and my heart until you're satisfied I love you and only you. What we have is a miracle and if you walk away from me I'll die inside."

Her eyes examined his and he waited. Her hand crept towards his heart and he again pressed it there, letting her feel the steady beat. He felt her careful probe as her mind entered his, searching for the truth of his words. Finally he dared lower his mouth to hers in the sweetest kiss he'd ever known.

"I love you, Mara. Please believe me." He kissed her again and again, kissing her eyelids and removing her tears.

Mara took a shaky breath and finally smiled. "Oh, Luke, I do."

The breeze from the floor to ceiling windows woke him and for a moment disoriented by the location, Luke tried to remember where he was. He sat up and peered through the darkness. A slender figure wrapped in a white robe stood gazing out into the Coruscant night. Red-gold hair tumbled in sheets of living flames down her back, well past her waist and Luke knew when she turned to face him her eyes would be greener than the new leaves in spring. A soft smile danced over his mouth as he watched her. Just to be in her arms again had been absolute heaven, especially after he thought he'd lost her for ever. She'd been a generous, uninhibited lover and he'd fizzled into a jet of steam when she'd kissed him, whispered into his ears things that he'd never heard before and welcomed him into her warmth. Three times now he'd spent a night in her arms and Luke wondered if she was a narcotic like spice. He shifted a little in the bed. Spice was a mild drug compared to the effect Mara Jade had induced in him. She could be habit forming right enough. The more he had of her the more he wanted.

Mara stared out at the lights of the city but she saw none of it. '_Not once, or twice, but three times_.' Three times that she'd spent the night in a bed with Luke Skywalker. It had been… perfect. That was all she could say. It had been absolute heaven to be back in his arms, but then, she'd known she'd feel like that. She wasn't sure if she liked being so dependent on him for her happiness but, if it had to be anyone, she was glad it was Luke. Without him she was only half alive. For a fleeting moment she was sorry for Callista but grateful that she'd interfered, for she, too, had nearly walked away from Luke and the former Jedi had been right. It would have been the biggest mistake she could have made.

"Come back to bed, Mara."

His soft voice spoke out of the darkness and Mara let the sound curl through her. It was warm, sexy and husky from sleep and earlier passion. She turned and saw him, bare-chested, the bedclothes dipping dangerously low across his flat male abdomen. A delicious quiver of something hot thrilled her senses. She knew what was hiding beneath the covers and it was a shame to let such power stay hidden.

"Why should I, Skywalker?" she teased gently. This was a new experience for her, the laughter after lovemaking.

"You need to get some sleep?" His voice rose up at the end of his sentence as if he'd only thought about that reason.

"I don't need a lot of sleep," she countered evenly.

"The bed is getting cold." His voice turned a little smug.

"But there's a great big lug of a farmboy in it. Can't possibly be cold." Hers was the voice of reason.

"He's lonely."

Now it was just plain pathetic. "Tell him to get himself a stuffed ewok. I'm told they're very good to cuddle in the night if you're cold or lonely."

"You're a heartless woman, Jade. A stuffed ewok isn't what I had in mind _and_ my brother-in-law is a member of the tribe. It smacks of fratricide or cannibalism."

"_Cannibalism_!" Her eyebrows rose in mock alarm. "You eat them?"

"What… our little furry brothers? Never."

"It has to be said that grilled Ewok flesh is considered a delicacy in many parts of the galaxy." Mara felt Luke shudder.

"Enough nonsense." He demanded mock sternly. "Come back to bed."

The bed creaked a little as he moved and again, She was just about to give in, but thought she could chance stretching his torment a little longer. "You still haven't given me a good enough reason."

There was a silence. Mara could tell he was thinking, but when she tried to probe him, he closed up his barriers. "Uh-uh. No peeking, green-eyes."

Her eyebrows shot up at the nickname. He was living dangerously. "You got a death wish or something?"

He chuckled, the sound rich and alluring. The bed creaked again as his weight shifted but this time she guessed his intent. The sound of the bedcovers being pushed aside indicated that he'd stood up.

"I'm going to have to try a different form of persuasion, is that it?" Luke moved towards her, stalking her, entrapping her in the heady snare of his blue eyes.

"Well…" Mara drawled. "I'm open to offers."

"I'm not offering." Luke moved closer and placed a hand on her silk-clad waist, a devilish smile on his angelic face.

"You're not?"

"I'm just claiming my just reward." Luke bent his head and nuzzled the soft skin of her neck.

"What have you done that needs rewarding?" she scoffed, even though the things he was doing to her with his mouth and hands, in her opinion, would win him several competitions.

Through the silk of her robe his hand cupped one of her breasts, teasing it until the nipple came to a hard peak beneath the material and she couldn't help it – she moaned softly, her eyes closing. Heat immediately scorched through the fabric and began to warm her blood. Mara gave in immediately and stepped into his waiting embrace.

Luke sighed with satisfaction as he stripped the silk from her body and carried her back to the bed. Laying her down, he covered her with his body and immediately began to kiss and caress every part of her smooth scented skin. Just for a moment Luke lifted his head and watched the myriad emotions play across her face, the sweet, aching longing in her green eyes for the rapture his touch would bring and that was something that scared Luke Skywalker. How could he put so much faith in one woman?

Mara's heart turned over as Luke's magic touch transported her into a world ruled by desire. His mouth moved tormentingly slowly across her creamy velvet skin. Then the tip of his tongue danced across her full lower lip and ventured into her mouth, igniting in her a craving to have more of him. Her hands dug into the muscular contours of his back and shoulders, tracing the rippling muscles with shaking fingers.

They lay together, conscious only of each other, moving in the rhythm of their desire, fanning the flames of the erotic war they'd been fighting for ten long years – the truce was more fiery than the battle. With cries of exultation the room echoed to the sound of two people finding passionate release simultaneously. No more barriers, no misunderstandings; just Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade existing on destiny's plane.

They came back to reality wrapped tightly against each other, their grip still a little desperate as if realising what they'd nearly lost.

"I do love you," he murmured as he rolled on to his back taking her with him. "So very much."

Mara curved into the crook of his arm, her head pillowed on his shoulder. "I know. I can feel it."

She smiled; the love and trust in her eyes so great that Luke felt his heart almost leap out of his chest. "You're going to have to marry me," he whispered gently.

"I am?" She twisted her head to face him, her heart beating very fast as she struggled to keep calm. "Why?"

"Can't think of a reason just now, but something will occur to me."

"It will, will it?" Her voice was airy as if a marriage proposal was something she received every other day.

"I'm not letting you out of my sight again until we're married." Luke's voice had taken on a possessive sound.

She stifled a giggle at his pronouncements. "You sound very pompous and stuffy. I'm not marrying the Jedi Master."

"Stuffy, eh?" Luke ran a teasing hand over the curve of her hip. "I'll give you stuffy." He flipped her over until he lay on top of her; his mouth nibbling at her neck until Mara moaned with pleasure. "Do stuffy Jedi Masters do this?"

Mara was incapable of answering as his touch made her tremble all the way down to her toes. "I… ah… they might."

"Or this?" His tongue latched on to a pouting nipple and he suckled until she was writhing against him. He stopped his ministrations, his blue eyes dark and serious. "Marry me, Mara. Don't ever let me be alone again." If she loved him, then she'd marry him. He was taking no chances… not with this woman.

Her heart clenched with need as she watched him admit his love and desire for her. She'd waited and hoped for this for so long. "I will, my love - I will."

Mara brought his head down to hers and kissed him sweetly and passionately, their hope for the future bright. With a soft murmur, the Jedi Master once again brought their bodies to ecstasy. They were together.

The steady sound of the waves rolling gently against the soft golden sand accompanied the contented thoughts of the young woman as she gazed into her glass of rich red claret.

Mara placed her glass on a side table and moved trance-like through the filmy draperies framing the tall open window and out onto the balcony. A gentle wind skimming the wave tips teased the red-gold curls framing her heated cheeks. The silk of her gown rustled faintly against the marble tiles and she gripped the carved railing tightly with both hands. So much had changed since the last time she'd stood in this exact, same spot.

The crimson sun in its purple sky had begun the journey towards night, the colours all mixing into a glorious kaleidoscope of reds, purples and blues. A bird cried for its mate somewhere in the trees surrounding one of the most beautiful views in the entire galaxy and she thanked the Force that she was able to experience this moment in this setting.

"Mara?"

The man standing in the lighted doorway smiled and walked forward holding out her glass to her. A man of depth, vision, of courage and possessed of a great heart.

"Leave it there," she murmured. "Isn't it beautiful?" She gestured to the golden sand contrasting with the strange indigo colour of the sky.

He returned her glass to its place on the table before moving up behind her, placing his arms about her and resting his chin on her shoulder. "It is beautiful, but nothing is more beautiful than you are." He kissed the soft skin of her neck before pointing to her clinging apparel. "I haven't seen this." He ran his hands over her arms and down circling her waist. "It's very beautiful too." His voice dropped to a sexy purr as he felt her tremble. "But what's inside it is more exquisite still."

"This?" Mara swivelled in place until she was facing him. "This is Hapan silk and cost a small fortune."

"A pity, when it's not going to stay on you for very long."

"Master Skywalker!" Mara pretended to be shocked, but the smile curved her mouth just a little.

"I prefer the silk of your skin, without anything covering it at all." He began to kiss her neck, his tongue flicking the soft skin behind her ear.

"Your sister went to a lot of trouble to get this for me." Her voice was indignant but the expression in her eyes was anything but. "She said that a woman needs something suitable to wear on her wedding night. Something to excite her husband."

Luke chuckled softly and bent his head again to kiss her. "But that was last night."

"I never got the chance to wear it last night. Someone I know was too busy making love to me and it slipped my mind."

"My wife excites me just by walking into a room fully clothed."

"So Leia wasted her credits buying me this?"

"Oh, I don't know if wasted is the word exactly. I appreciate the gift and it certainly does… stimulate…" His mouth sipped at the corner of hers, tiny, tempting kisses. "How does it come off?"

Mara whispered something in his ear and he laughed. The laugh turned into a groan as she rose up on tiptoes and bit him gently on his sensitive lobe. Luke shuddered and pulled her to him, his mouth finding hers and drinking its sweetness with his own. "I love you, Mara Jade Skywalker."

"You just had to add that last bit didn't you?"

"Absolutely, my love."

"Good. I'm glad."

"I'm glad you're glad."

Mara stared at the sunset for a moment longer and then turned to her husband, taking in the perfection of his muscled torso. Without thinking she lifted a slim hand and traced it across Luke's chest, loving the way his breath caught in his throat. Loving the way his arms curved around her bringing her close into his strong body.

Luke placed his mouth over hers and began to kiss her in real earnest, his hands beginning to stroke and caress over the sensuous material. He was right. The gown of Hapan silk wasn't going to stay on for very long. Mara closed her eyes and wound her graceful arms around his neck. Luke lifted her into his arms, his mouth never leaving hers and carried her into the bedroom.

Their life together had just started as husband and wife and as Jedi. They didn't know what the future would bring them – what hardships or triumphs - but they were together and that was everything for now.

The crimson sun vanished into the sea and a white wisp of silk drifted across the floor to lie forgotten, as the lovers reached out to each other in their quest for perfect fulfilment.


End file.
